Sunday, November 28, 2010

it's been a whirlwind...



These past few days have been hard to explain! Such a whirlwind of emotions for me! I am up, I am down, I am crying, I am fighting back tears and so many other things! Change is good yet it is so, so hard! I walked into Ben's room on Sat morning and said my usual good mornings and lots of kisses! I then looked into his eyes and said, "i am sad!" Him and his man response was, "to bad for you!" Of course in my mind I was like what kind of a response was that from my man! Before I could wallow in my sorrows and sadness he quickly looked into my eyes and said, "do you need a hug?" Ahhhh, that is more like it! I snuggled up next to him and let him hug away as I cried away! I love this man! We followed this hug time by reading the Bible. I read the Psalm of the day and some in Joshua. One scripture that I love and is underlined is Psalm 27:14 which says, "“Wait patiently for the Lord. Be strong and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord!” I am having Ben memorize it and me as well to remind us of what we need to do in this journey! We also had Pandora (internet radio) on some worship music and Mighty To Save from Hillsong came on. I told Ben that he knew this song and that we should sing it! He did start singing it and kept up with it! He stumbled over a few words (this might be due to the fact that I went to put my arm around him and smacked his forehead with my elbow...poor guy) but did really well keeping up! It was so good to worship a bit together!

They continue to work Ben over in therapies! They tell me he is doing great and Ben says he is being worked hard! Some things he has been doing: washing hands and face, taking on and off shirt, practicing rolling over, walking, neck stretching, practicing cutting food (he still needs help eating), trialing thin liquids, swallowing with lips closed, breathing through belly to get louder sounds, and a swallow study set up for Tues. He works so hard and gets frustrated with not making big gains in his therapies! Ben wants it here and now! I do too but I get to see how far he has come and Ben cannot remember!

Another huge struggle for Ben is that I cannot go to therapies with him! He is used to me being there with him! Sat morning he was in therapies and I was still at the hotel...they asked him if was in pain and he said yes, his heart was! They stopped therapies, put him in bed, did an EKG and gave him some heart burn meds! When Ben says his heart hurts it is not physical but emotional. It is normally because I am not with him or that he is still in a hospital setting! Oh man, I had told his resident doc about this when we were admitted but she must not have made a note on it! His therapists and doc on this weekend now know and will make a note of it! I miss being in therapies with Ben too but I understand where they are coming from! I explained to him that he has to treat this time as a job. I asked him if I got to go to work with him and he said no. Did you get to go with me to work, again no! I told him, consider this your job and assignment right now! His 1st Sgt, commander, XO and all his other bosses have ordered it for him! This is his mission and job in life right now! I told him I will be there during meals and times of no therapies. As I remind him of that and inform his therapists he is slowly catching on. He will get there! It is hard for me to let go of this! I want to sneek a peek from behind a wall and see how and what he is doing! Oh goodness...this is hard!

Today we took our Bible reading outside! They have a good sitting area and so I wanted to get Ben some fresh air. Of course Ben loved the wind whipping around! I had flip-flops on so the toes got a but fridged! (my shoes should be here tomorrow!) We stayed out for about 30 min and just soaked in the sun and the fresh air!!



Change is hard, yet change is good. The Lord promises that He will never leave us or forsake us and this helps to keep my heart together. I am excited to see what the Lord is going to do in us here in the spiritual, physical and emotional levels. It is Ben and my job to keep worshipping, thanking and following Him!

“Don’t worry about anything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” Phil. 4:6, 7

A song that has been ministering to me...




and I leave you with this handsome, hardworking man...

7 comments:

Jennifer Jayhawk said...

I'm sure the moving and changes are hard. I'm amazed at how strong you both are with all of your challenges. That's a great song!!! Our Worship leaders play it frequently.

Mom said...

Still praying for you both, Katie, every day. I've been wondering how you have been doing so thank you for the post. I love how you share pictures of y'all from the past and from the present. I also love it that you are able to share a little of the tough times and then also share your faith in who God is and what He has done, is doing and will do. I pray you both have a very blessed week!

With love in Christ,

Denise R. from Texas

Victoria Williams said...

Katie,

I am continuing to pray for both you and Ben. Thank you for this last post- it reminded me of what our Pastor was preaching about today- he was reading 2nd Corinthians 13: about love and how it is long suffering, and it is unconditional. That reminded me of you, how your love is towards Ben. You will go through anything with him. That is how our God is with us. God is love- God is long suffering, God's love is unconditional.

Sorry I rattled on, but I love your posts and I love sharing about God's word with you.

Thanks again,
Victoria

Anonymous said...

Katie, You are wonderful. Father has given Ben the best wife for him. You are right, I think the elbow to the head probably knocked the words right out of him. :) :) :) Hugs to you, Mairon

Miss Southern Vol said...

Oh goodness- what a sweet and encouraging post. It is absolutely amazing and inspiring what you go through and how you manage it all- your faith and dedication is so uplifting. I will be praying for both of you as always! Your post bring so much joy and happiness seeing your strength and faith in the Lord

KateWIU said...

Katie, the picture of you and Ben reading the Bible together outside brought tears to my eyes! You are such an amazing and inspiring couple, and your faith in the Lord is such an encouragement! I pray for you and Ben, and I appreciate your openness in sharing your story with us! :-)

The Southbay Newlyweds said...

great picture of Ben!!!! You are such a strong Woman! thank you for sharing!