Saturday, January 30, 2010

Officially moving onward...

I am sitting in an empty office on the floor in our empty house! The packers and movers came on Wed/Thursday and took all of our stuff! They are now in some other state trucking along! I am now waiting for 2 of Ben's work guys to get his truck weighed and then they will be back to hook up the boat! These amazing guys volunteered to drive the boat and truck to WA for us! I have made the drive before and let me just say it can be quite dull! They are excited to get away for a few days and then also get to see Ben when they arrive! They are a huge blessing!
In amongst all my crazy days of moving all our belongings I have been able to hang out with some wonderful friends that we have made here! They all have been a huge blessing in our lives and that is one of the hardest things about moving...Jesus has blessed us with true friends!
Ben is doing well! Of course I call every day to check up on him! He raised his eyebrows when I got on the phone to chat with him which makes my heart melt! Some of my family members have gone up while I have been gone to check up on him and that makes me feel so good! I am so grateful that they are there to be with him!
I fly back Sunday and will hopefully be getting into another schedule....when things settle down!
Blessings to you all and prayerfully more good news to come soon from WA!!

Monday, January 25, 2010

Change is hard...

Yes, change in hard but I have to keep reminding myself that Ben and I are in the arms of Jesus and He is guiding us in this journey. At times I question my decision to move Ben and I to WA but I look back and see that Jesus opened all the doors to come up here and that it went so smoothly. No doors were closed to us so I really beleive (most times :) ) that we are right where God wants us.
Ben has been adjusting and I told him that I would be patient with him when he didn't do as much as he was at Shepherds. I know that it takes time for him to adjust and take it all in. Oh patients is so hard for me! I want to just step in and run the show but I need to allow Ben's new therapists to step in and try new things with him. I want excellent care for my man and have to get used to all his new nurses! Oh my I have a ton to learn!
I head back to GA tomorrow-Sun to get things finished up with the house. This is going to be VERY difficult for me because I want to stay with Ben and make sure he is being well cared for and taken care of! I am sure I will worry about him the whole time I am gone but also praying that the peace of Jesus will be wiht us both! After this week of being away I can then get into a schedule with Ben and get things going!
I know this is short but I wanted to get a quick one in before taking off!
Prayer points:

1. Ben will perk up with his new meds and continue to adjust to his new enviornment!
2. Seizures - last scan said he had a small one so they are not gone all the way yet! These really affect what he can/cannot do! Pray for complete healing of these!
3. Muscle looseness and control...Ben is still very tight in areas.
4. Ben will walk and talk! I know these are big things but once he gets started there will be no stopping him!!
5. Patience for new changes, schedules, staff...list goes on!
6. Ben will do new things (I feel like he is stuck in a rutt) just one new thing will make my day!
7. Enemy will have no place in Ben's healing progression, in both Ben and my thoughts and no place in our lives!
8. Been asking myself a lot if this gets any easier...would love for Jesus to lighten my load....
9. 100% HEALING....would love this to come at any time!!

Friday, January 22, 2010

We made it...

(our private plane)
Thank you all for your encouragement and prayers! We made it safely to WA! Ben did an amazing job with the whole transfer! He took a few naps on the plane and then got to take in some fresh Colorado air when we stopped for fuel, food and a potty break! We got to his new rehab facility about 3ish and he was out like a light by 6pm but it was really 9pm for us! Ben was up for a bit this morning working with OT, up for a bit with me and has been sleeping ever since! He has some jet lag, time changes, meds all wonky and all new faces to get to know! He is awake as I type and staring out the window to take in new scenery! He was not able to see out his windows in his old room so he is taking it all in! We are very blessed that he gets a room to him self! I have already put up all his decor and am awaiting more art work and photos to come! More updates to come but just wanted to let you all know that we are safe and sound!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Only 2 more days...

Bare with me as I take ya'll into my feelings and emotions for a bit! As you know we are headed up to WA for Ben to be in a rehab hospital there! I am super excited to be closer to family and friends! Ben and I have been on this journey for almost 5 months and I have had amazing people beside me...but I have missed and need my family! The Lord has made me a very strong person but there are times in your life when you just need your family and you need to be near them. In the midst of my happiness to return I am so sad. Ben and I had always planned on going back to WA but these circumstances are very different than what we had planned. I want to be happy but at the same time we are going back for VERY different reasons. I wanted Ben to take me home and lead us as a family to the place where we wanted to live! I want to trade places with Ben sometimes so that he can lead us as a family. I know that the man is to be the security for his wife and they are to lead us. In this time I have found security in Jesus and He has given me the ability to lead our lil family along this journey. That doesn't mean that at times I want to do it. There have been times when I don't want to make decisions anymore because I don't have Ben to give his opinion or to lead us in a certain direction. I do really believe that the Lord is leading us to WA though because He has opened every door along the way. I have not had to battle this choice because Jesus has made a way!
I long to have Ben back the way he was before the accident. My heart hurts because I cannot be with him every moment of the day, he can not hold me like he did, I cannot have a conversation with him, I cannot even go on a date with him in a way that we would want to. But in all of my hurt the Lord has really showed me how to love my man more....even if it is shaving his handsome face! I know Ben still has a deep love for me just in the way that he looks at me with the big ole hazel eyes. Still at times I just want to be with him and love on him and have things like they were!
God has my heart too. I know He wraps His arms around me when I need it most and He is there to put a song of worship in my head when I need to sing!
I know that Ben is dying to say something! I thought about it the other day...what if I had to walk around all day without saying one word. What if in that day I could not give hand gestures, smile back to those who are smiling at me, move my body in a way that I normally did. Wow, what Ben is going through I cannot fathom...I have no room to complain what I am going through! He is trapped in a body that he doesn't even know! I asked him the other day if He really believes in Jesus (I already knew his answer) and he gave me one finger for yes and then I asked Ben if he truly believed that Jesus could heal him from this brain injury and he gave another one finger for yes. My heart swelled! I just sat there and encouraged him to pray for his healing! I know that Ben has had several and may I point out several conversations with the Lord but I just encouraged him to continually pray for his healing! I told him that he has a whole world of people praying for him and that he can join right in and pray with us! The look on his face in that moment of time was so peaceful! I know Jesus lives in my man's heart and Ben is resting in His arms!
We will fight this fight the whole way through! Ben and I will always give all the glory to Jesus! I pray that the first words out of Ben's mouth are words of praises...ok he can throw an I love you in there soon after too! :)
Our journey continues on Thursday! We both will be flying out on a medical aircraft to WA. I know I said I was not going to give a date but we really need your prayers during this time! I don't have an exact time yet but it will for sure be on Thursday. Please respect Ben and I as we will need to get adjusted to new things there. Ben will be exausted by the time we get in and he and I will need some time to chill out. I am asking that if you want to visit you please text or e-mail me. If I don't respond please do not take it the wrong way....just know that we need this time (and I don't know how long it will be) for Ben to get adjusted.
What we really need is your continual prayers for this very emotional, crazy, stressful, full of new adventure time! Pray for this time that it will bring new beginnings to Ben's healing, peace to my heart, confidence that I have made the right choice and just an overall contentment!
Thank you for your faithful prayers that you have already been praying! It means so much to Ben and I!
Once we get situated I will post our new address. You can continue to post your comments and if you don't have the ability to do that you can e-mail us at


Thursday, January 14, 2010

Onward we go...

Ben and I had some very busy days these past few weeks! This past weekend my good friend Melody came down from WA DC and spent the weekend with us. We had good times with Ben and also were able to have some girl time in Atlanta! My sister Anne came in on Monday night and will be with me until next Mon. She has been wonderful to have with us!
Ben continues to move forward slowly and steadily! These past few days he has been doing some very good things! In speech theray his speech therapist had written sentances out and put them in front of him for Ben to read. She told him to read them and then do what it said. Some of the phrases were...close your eyes, itch your nose, make a fist. Ben did one at a time, read them (his eyes tracked them), and then did what he read...closed his eyes, itched his nose and made a fist! All of this was so good and amazing because it shows that Ben is still able to read and then after reading it comprehends what he was reading by doing it! He also was able to have to options of 2 phrases in front of him ( I love you and I'm tired) and when asked what he would tell me he pointed to I love you and when asked if you wanted to be put back to bed because you are feeling like this he pointed to I'm tired! Ben continues to amaze me with all of his hard work! It is in there, but it is a matter of his body and mind getting it all out!
He has had some good sessions in physical therapy too! The last 2 days he has been on the Locomat (robotic assistive walking machine) and done really well! He was doing more work today on it then ever and the therapist working with him really pushed him! He also learned a new game thing that has been good for his arms. Ben was able to do this with his work buddies a few times! To watch them all do it together was quite funny!
Ben continues to eat bananas, drink some juice and chomp away on ice chips! He loves himself some ice chips!
Praise add onto all the above praise reports...Ben's last seizure EEG came back negative! This is huge because it shows that his seizures are being controlled even if it is by the help of medications!
In spite of all that has taken place I can still see Ben's sence of humor in him...and him being my stinker binker! I went into his room the other day with an REI catalogue and had found a nice looking fleece that I thought that I might get! I showed him the picture and asked him if I could get it! He looked and me and put 2 fingers in the air...2 fingers meaning no!! I guess he just wants me to wait so that he can buy one for me! Need less to say , I didn't get the fleece and will be patient for him to get one with me!
Ben has been accepted into a rehab center in WA!!!! We will be up there and hopefully settled in by the end of the year! Things are moving along and they are going to start even moving faster! When I asked him the other day if he was ready to move back to WA he gave me 1 finger! (1 finger is yes and 2 fingers is no) Good answer Ben!! It will take some time for Ben to get adjusted to a new place, schedule, and new staff so we are going to lay low for some time! I am able to fly out with him to get him settled and then I will fly back to take care of the house stuff! All is still being worked on as far as details but I thank the Lord for all the people who are making this happen!

Prayer requests:
~ Ben to speak!!
~ Seizures will continue to be controlled
~ His muscles would loosen up so he can do more things (walk, use arms better, etc)
~ Things would continue to be put in place for the move
~ Safe travels for both of us
~ Peace and calmness...this is a bittersweet move!
~ Complete 100% healing in Jesus' timing!!

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Daniel Fast....

“In those days I, Daniel, was mourning three full weeks. I ate no pleasant food, no meat or wine came into my mouth, nor did I anoint myself at all, till three whole weeks were fulfilled.”
I am starting a journey tomorrow (Monday) with our church (they started today) in GA called the Daniel fast. It will take place for 21 days. I know this is late notice but I wanted to present it to you. I would ask you to prayerfully join if you are able and feel led by the Lord. Here is a litle information on it...
Theme of the fast—fasting and prayer: Your goal in fasting is to become closer to God by voluntarily denying the demands of your flesh. Increase your prayer life during this time. Study the Scriptures with a new intensity. When the fast is over, you should have a new spiritual strength from overcoming the cravings that usually control your life and from dedicating yourself to God.
Biblical model: Do a personal study of fasting. In the book of Daniel, chapters 2 and 10, Daniel describes two examples of his personal fasting and the dramatic results. Isaiah described God's chosen fast in Isaiah 58. Jesus fasted in the wilderness (Matthew 4, etc.) and spoke of the necessity of fasting for believers. It was a normal part of early church life. Fasting is one way we respond to the admonition throughout the Scriptures to die to our self-will and not to accommodate the desires of the flesh.
Types of food included in this Daniel fast:
• All fruits, all veggies, whole grains (whole wheat, brown rice, millet, oats, barley, whole wheat pasta, whole wheat tortillas, rice cakes and popcorn) and all nuts and seeds.
• Pure fruit juices or fruit (no sweetened drinks or sweetened fruit): apple juice, orange juice, grapefruit juice, cranberry juice...all 100% juice!
• It is advisable to take vitamin, mineral, and possibly protein supplements during the fast. You may also include various nuts to serve as a protein supplement.
Foods not included in this Daniel fast:
• Sugar and sugar products (desserts, soft drinks, etc.)
• Drinks including caffeine (coffee, tea, etc.)
• Bread, grains, and rice • Meats, fish, poultry, dairy products, eggs
Water: Drink 8 glasses of water daily throughout the fast. This is very important.
I am doing this fast for direction, guidance, to seek the Lord more for my own relationship with Him and to cover Ben and I in a way that only the Lord can do! This fast is going to be hard for me because it will be stopping alot of things that have become habit (coffee), just altogether taste good and things that I may run to instead of the Lord! I really believe that I am to join in on this fast and allow the Lord to work in mine and Ben's lives!
There may be a few modifications that I will have to make due to my own system and not losing any more drastic weight like I did after the accident. I will be going until January 31. Please like I said above consider doing this fast with me (to the degree that you are able) and Ben and join with us for a time of healing and restoration in our lives and yours as well!!

"God's kingdom isn't a matter of what you put in your stomach . . . It's what God does with your life as he sets it right, puts it together, and completes it with joy. Your task is to single-mindedly serve Christ." (Romans 14, The Message)

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Controling the channels...

Ben is back to trying to change the channels on me! I had his TV (which swings in front of him) on the other day on some football highlights. I guess that he wanted to change the channel because he started raising his hand to push the button. The buttons are a bit difficult to change so I told him to find the up or down channel button and touch it so that I could push it for him. He pointed to the up arrow and so I started changing the channel. I would get to a show and ask him if he wanted to watch it. Showing 2 fingers (which means no) to several channels I finally got one finger (meaning yes) to stop of course at his all time favorite channel...the Discovery Channel. It happened to be on Man vs Wild his favorite show! It was amazing to see this because it was the first time that Ben had attempted to do this! I am sure one day I will be watching a show (one that I like) one of these days laying next to him that he is going to reach up and change the channel on me and switch it to his favorite one! I am at a place that if he does this I will be completely fine because it means he is using his mind and thinking it out!!
Another thing Ben did on the same day was very special to me and I will ever forget it. I was sitting in his room chatting with a friend and Ben was watching the sports highlights. He would look from me to the TV and back again. Ben continued to put his hand in the air so I went over to hold it and ask what he wanted. He took ahold of my hand, brought it to his lips and kissed it! I was blown away! I did not ask for kisses or anything but he just knew that I might want one and wanted to treat me to a sweet kiss to the hand! I was brought to tears and the love in my heart for Ben swelled even more!
Ben continues to remain strong in all of his therapies. He continues to move slowly but steadly along. He lifted some weights today with OT and followed all of her commands and answered all the yes/no questions correctly. He even got a few noises out of his mouth when Speech was pushing on his stomach. He did this twice which shows us that there is voice in there! PLEASE continue to pray that Jesus brings speech and language to Ben's body! I feel like when we say things are on the tips of our tongues this is how Ben really feels! Speech, words and language are all sitting there and he is just waiting for everything to set in!
Things are still in the works to get Ben and I back to WA. Paperwork and approval are still being worked on as well. When you have to work between the facility he is at, the facility he is going to, military and insurance it takes some time! Please continue to pray for that as well. Also continue to keep my in your prayers in the next few weeks to come. Change is coming and with that I know brings chaos, stress, unorganization and many other things. These next few weeks may be crazy busy but I am trusting Jesus that He will continue to bring peace and lead us in His way!
I look forward to my friend Melody coming from DC this weekend to celebrate our b-days...we try and do something every year together! Also my sister Anne will be coming for a week on Monday!! Many good things to come!!
More good things and healing reports to come!!

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Our God is good....

(I love Ben's smile and miss it)

Where to begin!?!? It has been a crazy past few weeks but it has been good for both Ben and I! We are beginning a New Year and I am BELIEVING and TRUSTING that Jesus will have good things including continued healing for us this year!
Even though it was hard to ring in the new year (cried my eyes out watching the ball drop in NY) and I had a flood of emotions and thoughts into this past year! It really has been a crazy year for both Ben and I. Ben went through alot of changes with work, I studied for my nursing boards and finally passed, we traveled to 2 weddings with one at the gulf in southern AL and one in New Orleans, traveled to Disney World with my family, spent the summer biking and on the boat, was in my good bud Melody's wedding in WA and then the accident. I started looking at the all the bad things that happened this past year All I saw was the accident, Ben and his brain injury, my scars and that we were not going to get our baby that we were planning for (in our timing of course!!) I wallowed in my sorrow for a good long while until the Lord gave me a good quick kick in the fanny! Yes, there have been things that I would not have chosen to happen to us but that is nothing in comparison to what Jesus has done in our lives and how He has blessed us! Ben and I would not be here today if it were not for the love of our Jesus and how He spared our lives! Not only did He do that but He has given me all that I need to walk this journey with Ben. He has given strength, friendships, finances, material things, love and many more things that I could list! The blessings He has given us are way beyond what I could ever ask for! He is also using Ben and I in this whole thing to bring people closer to Him and to be an example to many! I got told the other day that I was One In A Million on how I was dealing with the accident and it was very humbling for me to receive that praise. I give all that credit to Jesus because He is the one who has equipped me! I am still getting people coming to Ben's room to talk to me to see how I do it and if I can give them wisdom...lil ole me...yes, Jesus is using me and it feels good!
When talking to Ben's neuropsychologist this last Thursday she said that Ben is NO LONGER IN A COMA!! From a previous blog I mentioned that there are different levels to a coma and that Ben was in the tail end of the last level! She said that people in coma like what Ben has been in do not do the things that Ben is doing!! She used the words that Ben has emerged from his coma!! All praise goes to our mighty God!!
She said that Ben in moving steadly forward but slowly. The things that are keeping him at a slower pace are his seizures (and seizure meds) and his muscle tightness. I believe that the Lord can take care of these things! You can see frustration in Ben's face when he tries to do something but he cannot make his body do it! My Ranger is so strong and determined! I had to tell him to Ranger up this week and hold his head high and put those shoulders back...and he did just that!
Phone calls have been placed to a facility back in WA for Ben to be transfered to. We are waiting on returned phone calls, acceptance into the facility, flight plans/dates to transport Ben and so on. It is in the works so please pray that all goes smoothly! I have started packing the house in preparation for a move and have told our landlord we will be out by then end of the month! It is bittersweet because this crazy lil town in AL has become our home and we have built many amazing friendships here and found a wonderful church!
Please be in prayer for all the above that I mentioned and praise Jesus for all He has done and all the answered prayers!! Ben and I will get through all of this and Ben will walk, talk, and praise Jesus again!! to eat my dinner that has been sitting in the micro and beeping at me!!
Blessings to you all!!