I got a decent sleep last night and that felt so good! I have a comfy bed and a dark room and that is the best combination for me! I was putting on my makeup and listening to some worship music on Pandora. I started singing and found it hard...which is not usual! I realized that I was out of practice from worshipping the Lord! Not that my heart is hard but it has been some time since I have just worshipped Him! That hurt my heart and my emotions! It was not a fun feeling and very convicting! I couldn't even get through one song! I felt very humbled by the Lord but in a tender way of His reminder of needing to consistantly worship Him!
I love reading the Psalm of the day and today was Psalm 23...so appropiate for the last evening and morning I was having. Emotional, missing our "home" in Cali, getting used to ALL new people and being tired!
A few points I love from this Psalm:
-I have all that I need in Him
-He gives me rest and peace
-He renews my strength
-He guides me on the right path and I get to honor Him in it all
-When I am in a dark spot He is close to me
-Ben and I are honored by the Lord for what I am doing
-Ben and I will be blessed
-We get to live with the Lord forever!
Today was a good first day for us! I got to Ben this morning and got him cleaned up a bit. While I was helping him he got a doppler study on his legs for clots which was negative! After that was done he was off to get some x-rays before PT. During Ben's time getting films I got to chat a bit with his new doc. We went over a bit of the accident details and questions about current meds that Ben is on now and a few slight changes that he wants to do soon. He wants to give Ben a chance to get aclimated to the new place and people before he starts pulling out the big guns! No rest for the weary here...right after the x-rays Ben was off to PT! While there he did standing, balancing and they even had him up walking with his walker! Ben showed off or course! He did so well for his first day and being tired! Lunch came next and in the middle of it he was seen by ST. He watched Ben eat and tried a small swallow eval with him! Rest time!
At 2:30pm Ben was off to OT for 1.5 hours! He stood, stacked rings, walked, did mat work, streched, balanced and lots of questions! Whoooop deee dooo...what a work over he got! It was good for him! Another rest, dinner, shower and snuggles with me! Ben was out by around 8pm!
On to the 2 dollars a day...for TV at the hospital here! My jaw dropped when I heard it! She said that is cheap because some hospitals charge $7 a day and "welcome to NJ!" I said no at first but then chatted with Ben about it and he said he would like it. In his down times he like to relax and watch an old movie or the Discovery Channel! (i was told today though that he might get it free!) No other hospital we have been to or that I have worked at has ever charged!
Here is some hard news for me today...I am not going to be allowed to be in Ben's therapy sessions! My heart about sank because I love being with him, watching and encouraging him! They said this is for other patients privacy and so that Ben can get more independent in his therapy and care! I have to start weaning myself away this week and then next week stay away!! I can come in at the end of his sessions to get an update and they will also writed down what they have done in each session. Sneaking in to get photos and videos is a must though. I know this will be good for Ben but it will for sure be an adjustment for me!! My heart is already hurting and I don't like the idea at all! I will have to find things to fill in that time...been thinking of getting a really nice camera and taking a photography class...any other ideas out there??!!
{already snuck one photo}Ben saying of the day...I asked Ben if he liked this new hospitals food over the others and he said, "yes!" I asked him why and he said, "because I am not there anymore!" Classic!
10 comments:
Wow, Katie! My heart hurts for you! What a hard, new challenge for you both. There's obviously a reason for these new challenges and an opportunity for growth. Keep strong and know that you both continue to be in God's loving arms. A photography class for you sounds like a wonderful start. You already show a natural ability to capture life in a fun way on film. Continue prayer for healing and comfort. Thank you for continuing to share your journey, as frustrating as it might be. So much comes through your words.
Oh Katie, what a rich post! I love how Psalm 23 spoke to you and what's great is that it can speak to all of us. Thanks for sharing that with me.
Also, I can understand your feelings about Ben going solo in his therapies. The Lord will faithfully provide, even if the scenery and routines shift. I'm going to email you privately about some ideas you may want to chew on for how to use your time! Maybe once the therapists get a chance to see your blog, they will be fighting over who gets to be in it first and they will INVITE you into a few of those therapy sessions! I think you're right. It will be good for Ben. Just build in times where he can show off for you what he is accomplishing so he can work hard getting something ready to show you!
Stand on psalms 91 for you and ben.
Katie, about the suggestions for how to spend your time, I would advise you to seek the Lord on it and ask Him to lead you into what you should be doing (which I'm sure you will do anyway).
I remember when my husband was in the hospital last time for 10 days, I was able to look out the window at night. What I got to see was the children's hospital next door. I could see children sitting and looking out the windows like me so I would pray for each one of them. I found myself wondering if they had babies in the nursery that needed holding and rocking. The preacher from our old church used to volunteer doing that for many years. He probably still does. The county hospital would most likely have that need. Another thing I thought about was that one thing the Lord may have for you to do might concern the first thing you mentioned in your post -- worshiping Him. God may have something amazing and wonderful for you to do during the times you can't be with Ben, and knowing God, He has SEVERAL amazing and wonderful things for you to do. After all, I figure Ben will have at least 5 days of therapy a week. That's a lot of days to find something else to do. Just sitting in the hospital is not good. I've been in that situation 5 different times with my husband for long stays. One time he was in a rehab hospital for just 7 days. However, I had one small, short, hard, wooden chair to sit on with a very low back and no cushion, and they expected me to sleep in that little hard chair too! Instead, every night I crawled into bed beside my husband. They never said a word to me about it. When we left after 7 days, the nurses said, "I can't believe you are getting out of here after just 7 days. We never have patients stay that short of a time." I believe it was God's mercy that got us out of there so fast! I will be praying about it all for you, Katie! Have a blessed day!
May the God of hope fill you with ALL joy and peace as you trust in Him so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13
With love in Christ,
Denise R. from Texas
Oh yes the TV charge. My mom is in the hospital; she had knee surgery Monday. I think it is $12 a day for phone and TV. That is in NY. I think you might be able to get the VA to pay for it, see if you can ask a social worker.
Although it is hard to not be there for his therapy, it sounds like this place means business, which is good for Ben's progress.
Praying for this transition.
My Dear, I can't imagine your not getting to be at Ben's therapies. Yet, Father knew this was coming. He too, has plans that only you could fulfill. I am proud of you and of Ben. It will be interesting to see what Father has in store. What a cool name for your street address...Pleasant Valley Way....Father chose that too!! I love you guys, Marion Hansen
Hi, Katie! Great to read about your transition to NJ and how you've handled the speed-bumps. I'm so proud of you and the grace in which you are walking! And as challenging as it will be to not be present in Ben's sessions, this will give him some "man space" to continue improving and making you proud. My suggestion for your time away: start writing your book!
May Jesus give you the most wonderful of Thanksgivings...it's true we do all have much to be thankful for!
Give Ben a big hug for us, and let him know that we're praying for the Ryes!
As a therapist, I understand why..but at the same time I totally see how difficult this is going to be..I would be the same way...Change is hard!! I vote for you to take a photography class and jump into it! I just recently took a beginners class..and loved it! Welcome to the East Coast!!
Aw, Katie...I will be praying for you to find what it is the Lord has for you during your unwanted "free" time. Maybe for a season it's just being still and drawing close to Him in a fresh way.
I can only imagine that being busy feels good to you, so when it's time to be busy again, do something YOU love. Take that photography class...you can use it to do the photo-journaling side of your story.
And maybe find a way to spend time with kids...I think you may be getting a suggestion whispered in your ear. I second that suggestion!
From last Thanksgiving to this Thanksgiving...you've come a long way. So thankful for your honesty and generosity in sharing this journey with so many. You are a blessing to so many, and I am praying that you feel all the love coming your way, tomorrow especially. HAPPY Thanksgiving!!!
~Leanne
Dear Sweet Katie..........
You "ARE" an amazing woman, like so many people have already told you. I know, that you know....God has a plan, it's listening that's hard. Sometimes we just want to hear what we want...when actually, he has another idea or thought. Pray, consume your quiet moments with him..........he WILL direct your path. Be patient, look around and listen softly. It's really going to be hard not to be with BEN 24/7, especially since it has been your life for the past year, but now, might be the time for you. You have been such a wonderful caregiver, it's time to turn it over to someone else..if only for a short while.....this will help both you an Ben. I know this...because I am trying to learn this myself...........May the Lord continue to bless and give you patience. Praying for you two an incredible new journey and Thanksgiving to remember. Love and Prayers....Paula & Paul
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