Monday, October 5, 2009
Blogging from home
Usually I blog from the hospital in Atlanta but I am home for the weekend and today! I go back tomorrow to see my man....and for that I am very excited!
I have called to check on Ben and he continues to forge ahead with strength and might! All reports are good! He had some old buddies that drove from North Carolina to see him and some other good friends that took the time to see him as well. I was bummed I was not there to meet up with them but I am glad they got to see Ben...I must admit I was a tad jealous it was them and not me! :)
Alot of you have commented on my strength through this process. I must admit that it is a daily and sometimes even hourly or minute choice to follow Jesus and put my trust in Him. There are still many times where I go back to the why question. Did ben really deserve this? Lord, he was doing everything right by loving You, serving and loving me and a huge part of laying down his life to serve our country....why him? On the days that I don't feel like trusting in Him and I have thrown my little fit He always seems to ask. "are you done now?" I realize that on those days I am not joyful, refreshed and it rubs off on Ben! God is my comfort, strength, healer, love and someone that I choose to put my trust in. He is bringing us through this journey and if i didn't follow Him I know I would be a pile on the floor somewhere stuck in my own pity party. He promises me that He will be with me, He will never leave me or forsake me and that He loves me! That is where my strength comes from! Jesus has used you all as well to be my strength by your love, encouragement and all your prayers! We know people from EVERY continent praying for us...that to me is amazing! Keep it up...your prayers are being answered!
A word that I got from a family member this week was amazing...here it is...
1. "I firmly believe that when Ben was in his coma, he was having some face-to-face conversations with Jesus. Not that it’s because he’s a bad guy…we both know that’s not the case. He’s an amazing man and husband who treats you like a queen…as you should be J. I think there were some specific things the Lord wanted to work out in Ben, but in order for Ben to fix those things, Ben needed it to be majestic. I don’t think it could have been to the extent of how the Lord wanted it to be if Ben dealt with it on a day-to-day basis. Ben needed to see Jesus face-to-face in order for it fully sink in.
2. I firmly believe Ben will have a full recovery. With that, comes a fight. Jesus knows Ben is a natural fighter and will use that for Ben’s recovery. I believe in the last conversation Jesus had with Ben, He said, “okay, now fight for it.” I know the road won’t be easy and you may have to do some spiritual fighting as well, but rest assured you will not only have your Benny back…but he’s going to be even better!!"
So many times times have the words warrior, battle, fight, overseas, mission been brought up in prayer times and words through other people to us! God is up to something in the body, soul and spirit of Ben! I cannot wait to ask him about his times with the Lord and how Jesus has ministered to him through this whole journey!
Some things the Lord has shown me along the way -
~given me strength
~comfort through His word
~joy in the morning
~wisdom and direction (decisions that ben would normally walk us through being the man of the house)
~PATIENCE!! PATIENCE AND MORE PATIENCE!!
~delivered/kept me from fear
~put people in our lives that know what they are doing to help us (docs, military, friends)
~He will never leave me or forsake me!!
Things I feel I need to work more on this week in my everyday life are to pray diligently for Ben, pray for others, shoe grace and mercy, show compassion and be gentle! He has called me to Act justly, Love mercy, and Walk humbly with my Jesus!
at 12:05 PM