one year, six months...

"Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands." Deuteronomy 7:9

February 27, 2011 = 1.5 years, 18 months, approximately 72 weeks and 547 days...since the day that forever changed our lives. I can say that we have literally been to what seems like hell and back. We have hit the bottom and come back up to the top. There have been multiple occasions of tears, poundings on the pillows, being silently angry, yelling out questions, confusion, daunting days of misery and at times uncontrolable emotions!
But what tops that is faithfulness, blessings, peace, comfort, wisdom, worhip, tenderness, answered prayer and MIRACLES!

"I will declare that your love stands firm forever, that you established your faithfulness in heaven itself... O LORD God Almighty, who is like you? You are mighty, O LORD, and your faithfulness surrounds you." Psalm 89:2,8

Over and over again I realize how much the Lord has done for us! I look back to where Ben was this time last year and it blows me away! Look here for what Ben was and wasn't doing last year! I was praying for voice, leg movement, walking, eating and so on! Oh my stinking goodness! All of those prayers have been answered and then 10 fold! Those are not just little miracles they are HUGE! Blessings have over flowed into our lives and I am so grateful!
You may ask how can she have such a decent outlook on all of this? Well, some days things are out of control, spiraling, foggy, up side down and many other things. But it is in those times that the Lord is right there beside us. He shows Himself to Ben and I in ways that I could not imagine. It could be a scripture, a note in the mail, a worhip song, a phone call and sometimes best of all when Ben at the end of the day thanks me for giving him a shower or taking care of him. The faithfulness far out weighs my nasty moments or days! He has proven that He is near to us, He has promised to be near to us...and He has been!

"Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the LORD, who has compassion on you." Isaiah 54:10

I heard something tonight while watching a bit of the View (of all places) online Whoopy say something to the regards of people get old, people have tragic events in their lives that change how they look and people just change in their appearance. She said if we were with our loved ones just for good looks then we are with them for all the wrong reasons! I found this very true! I thing Ben is the most handsome man that I know both before the accident and after but I am in love with him for so much more then that! If I loved Ben just for what he looked like then I probably still wouldn't be around. But our love goes much deeper then that! Yes, yes, yes, I am still physically attracted to Ben but I am also emotionally, spiritually and mentally in love with Ben. Through all of this the Lord has given us a love for each other that far out weighs the negatives of our situation and this world.

"Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies." Psalm 36:5

I am so proud of Ben! He has proven to me over and over how much of an amazing man he is! I knew this before but in all this SO MUCH MORE! Ben will not give up, he will not give in, he will not surrendur! I pray everyday that God will honor Ben for that hard work, that He will heal Ben even more for that determination and that the Lord bless him. Sometimes I tell Ben that I wish I could trade him places and Ben always responds, "no way, you would not be strong enough!" Ben doesn't say this to be mean at all and it is probably true! Although I know I am strong but this fight takes a whole differnt kind of strength...one that the Lord is giving to Ben and will continue to give him!

There are a few prayer requests that I would ask you to be praying for...

1.Initiation, planning, and organization are thought of as “higher level thinking processes” because they require a lot of brain power. To initiate, plan, and organize, a person needs to be able to think ahead, concentrate, remember things, gather and sort information, and set priorities. If you have damage to the front of your brain, you are more likely to have problems with initiation, planning, or organization. This is because the front of the brain is the part most involved in planning, organizing, and problem solving.
{ask questions, tell us he needs to go the bathroom, initiate movement, remember he can do things, reach for things, initiate conversation, carry on a conversation, do the normal, daily things, etc.}

2.Memory – Ben has some issues with long term memory but it is the short term memory that was affected the most. There is healing that needs to take place in the cerebrum but the parts that are damaged rarely go back to what they were but they make new ways of building memories. The brain has to build upon what it has and not what it was. Ben can remember some things from weeks ago (which is awesome because just a few months ago he couldn’t remember) but most days he cannot remember what he did just an hour ago. He is on a med patch to help build upon that memory that seems to be helping.

3.Specific body areas include head/shoulders (very tight and to the right), arms (they are tight and keep Ben from doing even the simplist things of washing, eating, tying shoes), trunk and core (Ben is getting better but needs some inner balance from his core), muscle tone (one of brain injured worst enemies because it can tighten/freeze muscles. works against Ben)and bathroom issues (pray that Ben gets FULL sensation back in these areas!)

4.Wisdom and strength for me. I have been really tired physically, mentally and emotionally...understandable but it gets old! Wisdom in that Ben and I have some big decisions coming up that I need God's wisdom in! They affect our future. God holds it in His hands but that doesn't take all my fears, anxiety and uneasyness away!

Here are a few photos from a few months after the accident. I have not shared these before but I wanted you to have a quick glimpse into how well Ben is doing now. I can say that these are some of the better ones of how he was looking. In these the brightness in his eyes was missing and they were just glazed over! God has brought us so far and we are grateful!

These are near and dear to my heart so please look at them respectfully and lovingly...






and look what Ben is doing now...




"For no matter how many promises God has made, they are "Yes" in Christ. And so through him the "Amen" is spoken by us to the glory of God." 2 Corinthians 1:20