Sunday, June 27, 2010

10 months...


{back in the days of dating...}

Today hits the 10 month mark. Wow! I have alot of different feelings, emotions and questions going through my head and heart write now. I have asked the Lord multiple times, what are you doing...because at this poing I just don't understand anymore and I want answers. Answers that the Lord is patiently having us wait for!
10 months of not knowing...have you ever been there? It is not the funnest place to be especially when you have a brain injury or other medical condition involved. In the not knowing times I can genuinly say that Jesus has not forgotten us and has blessed us with so much...way more then we deserve! He has not just blessed us with taking care of us but He is healing Ben right before our eyes. It may not be at my pace or my time but it is happening! Do I lose hope, trust, faith, joy and so on...yes it wavers at times. I wouldn't be human if I didn't have all those emotions. I have come to find out it is how I handle them. I have to choose everyday to put my faith in Jesus and hope in Him. It is hard at times but I know that I cannot just believe and trust when I see big changes in Ben...it has to be everyday, every moment. I have to admit that sometimes I just don't want to and that is where Jesus tells me that I don't have to always be strong but just obedient! Do you know how much pressure that takes off of me!?! So refreshing!
As a wonderful lady put it about her man...(changed it to fit us because it is how I feel too...), " God works miracles but in mysterious ways. I miss my man (even though I see him) today more than ever, the feeling never subsides, even after 10 months. I never knew what it meant to love(in this way) before Ben and now through this journey, I know what it truly means to love. Love is definitely a selfless emotion but one that I am so glad I have an opportunity to experience with Ben."
Ben has come so far in his recovery and it blows me away how strong and determined he is! God is in the healing business and I still desire more miracles and 100% healing for this man of God and my husband!

I was reading with Ben our Streams In the Desert devo the other day and I came across this, "They (Isrealites)persevered only when their circumstances were favorable, because they were primarily influenced by whatever appealed to their senses, instead of trusting in the invisible and eternal God. God desires that we grow in our ability to see HIm in everything and to realize the importance of seemingly insignificant circustances if they are used to deliver a message from Him." It goes on to say, "The world says that seeing is believing, but God wants us to believe in order to see! The Psalmist said, "I would have despaired unless I believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Do you believe only when your circumstances are favorable, or do you believe NO MATTER what your circumstances may be? Faith is believing what we do not see, and the reward for this kind of faith is to see what we believe!"
Can you see where the Lord might be challanging me? Seeing is not believing yet trusting my Jesus before He brings the miracle! Everyday I am challanged by this and He doesn't let me forget!

This past week has been a good one for him. He had some great pool therapy sessions, neuro psych evals and best of all an outting to Cold Stone! Ben ordered the biggest container and wanted it filled to the top with peanut butter ice cream! I asked him if he wanted any add-ins and he shook his head no. He almost downed the whole bowl and I was not surprised by that at all! I think it hit Ben this week that he might be at a plateau. His energy level has changed a bit and at times he has said that he doesn't feel like he is making much progress! It hurts me to see this when I see how hard he is working and how much he puts into his therapies. This is not an abnormal to plateau in brain injured patients but it has to be so frustrating for him!
Please pray for Ben in this area! He is working so hard and needs to see some more improvement! Please also pray that the enemy have NO PLACE in Ben's heart, mind and spirit! Please also pray this over me so that I don't get disouraged by the improvements that don't come quickly. It is so hard for me and I cannot even imagine how hard it is on Ben!

Blessings and more updates to come!
Katie and Ben

PS...if you are leaving anonymous comments and are not already sharing your name can you please let me know who you are? Some of you may need to leave anonymous comments but I would love to know who is posting!! Thank you!

10 comments:

marlece said...

Katie, I am continuing to pray with you.

Freedomtrain Ministries said...

Katie and Ben,
Thanks for the updates. We are standing with you to see Ben's healing progress. We were walking today in the forest and even though the sun didn't directly light the path, the sun was out. It is obvious that even though you can't see at times, the Lord is still lighting your path. Blessings

Anonymous said...

I remember doing PT with Ben in the 504... He had something in him that pressed on beyond other's abilities... I truly believe a guy like him has a God given physical gift that most men dream of.... I am not just saying that to bring to remembrance what he was like, but to remind you of what I am sure you already see in his therapy. He never quits... and in all my memories of him, he had grit(firmness of mind or spirit: unyielding courage in the face of hardship or danger)
He may not be physically 100 percent but I have confidence that he still has that strong heart to press on... What's even better is that you both have God helping you both when you reach that "plateau".... that's what makes it so obvious that God is at work... when we think we can't go further, God meets us there and takes us the rest of the way. Keep pressing on and Claudia and I (erick) are still praying for you two and we are also praying that we can come see you two very soon!

Leslie said...

Hi! I haven't posted yet, but have been a lurker for sometime. Thought I should delurk myself. :-)

I'm not quite sure how I came across your blog, but I did and find myself praying for you guys all the time. Honestly, I find the two of you to be such an inspiration. Praying for Ben's continued recovery.

P.S. You have no idea how that Israelite passage you posted spoke to me. Thank you!!

Leslie :-)

Rachel Schuman said...

Katie,
I read your blogs and think to myself how strong you are. Your faith is an inspiration to others. Continuing to pray for you and Ben!

Talia said...

I came across your blog {from a friend, of a friend, of a friends blog :]) about a week ago... and can't get you and your husband - your story - and your faith off of my mind. I stayed up until 2am reading and weeping. God used your faith, your hope, your joy, your love and your light to convict me. Just know that through all of this you (and Ben) are touching and ministering to people you have never even met. :) I look forward to joining you in prayer and reading about what God is doing in your lives and the healing that He is doing within Ben's body. Prayers and love from Colorado!

Anonymous said...

Dear Ones!!! Have you ever read "Hinds Feet On High Places" by Hannah Hurnard? It's an alagory, placing our emotions as people. At one point, Much Afraid, was in the valley of despair. As I remember, that was a sort of resting place before the next high place. I guess what I am saying, is that the plateau is a sort of resting place before Father gives you another marathon of recovery. Rest, rejoice, and continue to "Wait" on the Lord. You already have a JUMP START on that one. I love you and very proud of you both. Your friend, Marion Hansen

Carli said...

Katie,

We heard about your journey through a friend on a homeschooling message board. Just wanted you to know that we have been praying for Ben's recovery and look forward to hearing your updates. What can be said? Just know that a family in Southwest WA is praying for you.

Carli E.

Brenda said...

Lord, you know the struggles of Ben and Katie... please wrap them tightly in your loving arms, squeezing them so hard they can't help but notice your grip on them. Please protect them both from discouragement, and replace it with whatever emotions are good and glorifying to you. Please continue the miracle in Ben's body and spirit. Let his walk, spiritual and physical, be an encouragement to others and a bright beacon to Christ Jesus. Lord, we all know that YOU are able to make good of what seems to us to be bad and we trust this is the case now. Please give Katie peace and restful sleeps as she needs the energy to persevere. Thank you for being with us, and ahead of us, in every way. We love you Lord, and are amazed at how you can provide and love us so perfectly. In Jesus name...

Nicole said...

Oh, what a post today! Please tell Ben that there are tons of us out here praying for him & you...and that he breaks past this plateau..and keeps charging forward...