Thursday, March 11, 2010

We may wait til He explains...

We may wait till He explains, because we know that Jesus reigns.
It puzzles me; but Lord, You understand and will
one day explain this crooked thing.
Meanwhile, I know that it has worked out for Your best,
It's very crookedness taught me to cling.
You have fenced up my ways, made my paths crooked,
to keep my wandering eyes on You. To make me what I was not,
humble, patient; to draw my heart from earthly love to You.
So I will thank and praise You for this puzzle,
and trust when I cannot understand.
Rejoicing You do hold me worth such testing,
I cling closer you your guiding hand!

...oh most days I am still puzzled as to what God is doing and why He chose us to go through this. There are so many reasons why He should not have picked us and that list could go on forever! I am sure that He has that ONE reason that He has chosen us to walk this path! Am I angry for! Confused...some days! Hopefull that He is going to heal and restore...every stinkin day! When I get off of the trusting and faith path Jesus is so gentle in leading me back on to the right one of trusting, seeking and praising Him!

Ben has been doing really well over the past few days! He has been very awake and working really hard. I think all his hard work and being so alert has hit him today because he is a bit tired! In spite of being tired Ben pushes on even if his eyes are closed! Go Ben go!
PT got Ben up Mon-Wed this week to walk! On Tuesday he walked 150 feet! He still had alot of help but Ben's physical therapist said that Ben was helping out alot more and lifting his right foot more too! Another big thing on Tues is that Ben pedaled on the hand bike for 10 whole min!! The last time he did it was for only 4!! He was able to go both in a forward direction and backwards! He did wonderful! In speech they are trying to build his ab/diaphram muscles by getting Ben to blow a wistle, blow tissue and a few other things. He is able to make faint noises as he blows the wistle but when you plug his nose he gets a really loud wistle noise out!! Today in OT his therapist was asking about his truck. She asked him what color it was and he totally mouthed grey!! I have also been working on him saying I love you and the best one that I have heard was last Sat evening when I was taking off and today. If you put your ear up to his mouth and ask him to say it he does. It is very soft and breathy but you can tell that Ben is trying to push the words out with evreything in him!
Ben continues to eat pureed foods. They did another swallow evaluation in radiology last Friday and he failed it with solid foods but is still ok with pureed foods! Ben loves bananas and takes the biggest bites from them! This I am sure doesn't surprise any of you boys that know Ben so well. Ben could live of bananas and goldfish if he could! :) I try and give Ben something to eat everynight that I am there and get him to feed himself! He does pretty good with the first few bites and then he gets tired! I think he just likes that I feed him and that he can chill out in his chair and watch the Discovery channel!!
As of today we are stiil making headway on going to the VA. They are putting in the referals to transfer Ben and get his flight scheduled. Ben will probably fly down the same way that we did on the way up from GA. I am hoping to again fly with him! The date will either be the 19th or 22nd of this month. It freaks me out a bit to think we are making yet another move. It makes me question will Ben adjust, what will his improvement be, will this place be good for him, what will they do different for him at this stage in his recovery, am I making the right choice to move us again?? I believe that this is where Jesus is leading us next in our journey but it doesn't always take away the questions, doubts and fears that I get! I have to remember to cling to Jesus and trust in Him...although hard sometimes when I cannot see two feet in front of us! According to me sometimes His timing is catastrophic but according to Him his timing is perfect!

Prayer requests:
~Ben's muscles will continue to loosen and work! That the tone (stiffness) will relax so that Ben can use his body as he needs to.
~Ben's head control...he still is working very hard to hold his head up but his right side of his neck is VERY tight and stiff. His muscles in the back of his neck and shoulders also need to be strengthened!
~Ben voice be loosed! He tries so hard to get just a hint of sound out! We need voice and words!
~Ben would rise up and WALK!!
~God would path the way to Cali and that things would fall into place!
~Peace of mind for me and strength to continue on this journey that is before us! My heart is with my Jesus and my Ben...I want to be strong in both relationships and keep the faith!

My new favorite quote..."It doesn't matter how many say it cannot be done or how many people have tried it before; it's important to realize that whatever you're doing, it's your first attempt at it."


Shelley M. said...

Praying for you and Ben during this move.

Shanna said...

Praying Praying Praying! Ben WILL be healed!



Rachel Schuman said...

Thinking and praying for you and ben often. So happy for his progress!!

Anonymous said...

Praying for you both as you make this new move. God is using you both in each of the places you have been. Lord please give Ben and Katie your peace during this time.