I was reading this update yesterday by a friend and I felt led to repost (I asked her permission) on here so that ya'll could pray for her and her man! Their journey with a traumatic brain injury started 3 years ago and soon will be going home. Her husband is "S" in this blog to respect his privacy. Please pray for this sweet couple and that the Lord be with her in these trying times!
"Defeat is not a word I like to use in any situations that didn’t turn out the way I would have wished them to be, but I can’t help but feel defeated. Today S and I got the green light to our transition back to Tampa and then eventually home to Birmingham. Dr. F was very sweet to sugar coat his “talk” with me. He feels like S is ready to transition home because he doesn’t need constant monitoring with the protocol, and though he was disappointed that S didn’t emerge to the point he would have liked, that S will continue with the protocol for one year. This will include each part of the protocol and then a knew trans cranial electric module. I need to get more information on that part of the protocol.
It still hurts to hear those words and leave here without S fully emerged. I still miss him each day like it was the first day he left me. I know that time is supposed to heal wounds but in this situation I feel like it numbs the feeling until events like this happen. I try so hard to keep a positive outlook on the situation but today I just feel very down. I am getting very anxious about moving S home, even though I am excited at the same time. I worry that I can not keep him healthy at home or that something will happen on my watch that could hurt him. I have so many anxieties that I know I shouldn’t have but I can’t seem to wane them. We are going home to a BEAUTIFUL home that will be well equipped to take care of S, but I still am very nervous. I wanted to take him home with more cognition. I feel like I have given S my all to find the best and newest treatments to get him better, but since he didn’t get that ultimate recovery, I can’t help to feel like I have failed him. I know that is silly, but when you love someone so completely and unconditionally, you can’t help but to feel that since you didn’t get the ultimate recovery, you somehow did fail.
I know that our transition to Tampa and then to Birmingham will not be the end of our journey. There are going to be future treatments and my commitment to get him those treatments. I guess my frustration is just another reason for me to get on home and establish myself in our new normal. I just miss my man so much and mourn for the life we didn’t have together. I sure do hope it gets easier."