Wednesday, February 29, 2012

a weekend away...

this coming weekend i have the wonderful opportunity to go to a wounded warrior wives retreat. they offer a few a year but this is the first i had heard about it and the first opportunity to go. it is at a beautiful resort about an hour away.

this will be my first time away overnight from ben since we have been home and i am as nervous as all get out! when he was in the hospital i knew the nurses and knew that if anything happened he would have emergency care if needed. someone will be staying with ben along with some of my family and i trust them all! i know things will be fine but i am praying the nerves will just settle and i can enjoy my time to the fullest!

i don't know how many ladies will be there but i know there will be a whole bunch of different stories but the one thing in commen is that all of our men are injured in some way or another. some are amputees, some with spinal cord injuries, traumatic brain injuries, shrapnal wounds, PTSD and in most cases some of everything, and these are just to name a few issues. our job is not an easy job (and that is a weigted thought) but we love our men and would do anything for them...

one of the leaders that puts these retreats together posted a question on facebook that got quite alot of answers...242 to be exact! it gives you a small idea of what us wives of wounded soldiers go through and yet can still find humor in it all and yet some are so very real and serious...

You know you're a wounded warrior wife when...

-When your home is childproofed yet you don't have children.

-Your husband thought you Zumba class ended later than what it did so he doesn't call on the way home. I'm soaking in the tub and I hear footsteps. I don't get alarmed because I've studied his gait for so many years I can hear the limp in his steps.

-You haven't slept through the night since your husband got hurt.

-You sit down and watch your husband pull shrapnel out of his body and both joke if it will be bigger than the last one

-Your mind never stops thinking of ways to prevent uncomfortable situations from happening.

-You have PTSD from his PTSD.

-you have aquired some of his brain injury

-When you can't remember your own appointments but you can recite his perfectly.

-you find yourself doing safety sweeps and perimeter checks even when he is not with you
-When you walk through hell with him and love him anyway.

-when you lay in bed crying wishing there was something you could do to really help them

-When you have to remind yourself that you need some self-care because you haven't showered, put on make up, or worn a cute outfit in days.

-When you miss your husband

-when your daughter screams at you that she is angry that HER daddy has a TBI

-When you have a secret "signal" system and speak code in public so as not to draw attention to yourself to avoid an upcoming panic attack.

-my kids totally blurt out my husband's injuries ANYWHERE! Like WalMart...Gavin will be like, "My Dad got shot 3 times!!" Then I have to explain it to the poor unsuspecting stranger.

-When you'd give up the full use of your limbs or brain, just to see them happy doing what they risked their lives for, and loved so much.

-When you're carrying around your husband's prosthetic leg like it's just another accessory. At the hospital, it's pretty normal but in public, you get looks but it doesn't bother me b/c it's my new normal.

-You have to hold yourself together everyday, and when the tears start, they aren't stopping for quite some time.

-When you have had enough of the mood swings, hollering, begging him to get out of bed, and you feel like all you do is give and all they do is take, and you wonder how much more you can handle. and it doesn't matter how much you love them, because, let's face it, if we didn't love them we wouldn't be there, you wonder when enough is gonna be enough and you pray for a miracle, and just the strength to go on

-When all of your son's classmates calls your husband a transformer.

-My dining room has become a rehab room complete with a stretching mat, walker, standing frame, medical supplies

-You have incredible wheelchair wrangling skills and your moves resemble a NASCAR pit crew on race day

-when you spend so much time "being strong" for the family you find yourself crying during the biggest loser

-When a smile on his face means more than you ever could imagine - b/c you don't see it often.

...the list goes on and on and on! i could definetly relate to alot of them! i am excited to go and meet some other ladies that have gone before me, are where we are at and those that are just beginning their journey. i pray that we all get the rest that we need while we are there and at the same time be rejuvinated to know that we are not the only ones out there going through what we are going through!
please be praying for every lady that attends and also for ben and i as we are apart and his safety!

with that i leave you with this...

-on tuesday ben walked about 3/4 of a mile on the treadmill with weight breaks in between and then followed by the pool.

-wednesday morning he had pt and did alot of core and ab work with the ball. had about a 2 hour break and then went to the gym. that day he walked a mile straight with NO breaks, then weights, then more on the treadmill and then the pool for over an hour!

-monday he got casted for a foot slint that should be ready in a few weeks. this hopefully will help with the inversion (turning in of his foot) and correct stepping of his left foot. prayerfully will also help with his walking and balance.

-amazing praise report...ben will get to trial hyperbaric oxygen treatments for free!! we will hopefully start his first session this next week. there also might be opportunity to have the majority of sesssions to come covered as well since it is not covered by insurance. more on this later!

-wednesday while watching the news a special comes on about a missionary to Sudan. They showed shots of the lack of quality of life and how they were poor to which Ben said, "my life is so hard but I have nothing to complain about!"...such a wise and amazing man he is!

-ben saw a car the other day that looked like my old one and he said its now in "Honda heaven." I asked him if he wanted to see photos of it from the crash and he said he wasn't ready. I haven't seem them either...I will be ready when he is....i think!

-ben's bad pre accident bed habits are returning...hogging the bed and stealing my pillow!

-his prayers are powerful and only getting better!


jenn said...

Katie, I hope this coming weekend is AWESOME for you, and reminder how God has walked with you and will continue to walk with you on this journey. You are amazing and strong every day, and it's time for you to have someone else to help to pamper you with a lovely time! Relax girl, I bet Ben is looking forward to a weekend away too, ha ha :) (Don't all guys need to get away from their wives every now and then - I know mine does! Plus absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?) Enjoy your well earned retreat my dear.

Brenna said...

I am so excited that you will be getting a weekend away. I think the caregivers/wives/friends etc are sometimes forgotten in the mix of the injury recovery! Take a weekend away and know that Ben will benefit from your weekend away- you will come back so refreshed and reinvigorated!! Yay for you!!!!

Anonymous said...

I am not sure I would ever be truly ready to see photo's of my car from such a crash. What is "hyperbaric oxygen treatment"...or is that part of the more later statement? Thank you for sharing. I check everyday. I love you, Marion

Mrs. Mari said...

Hoping you have a wonderful weekend away with other wives sharing the walk you are on. Hoping you come back with a feeling of fulfillmen to forge ahead on your path with Ben. You two are amazing.

Keeping you both in prayer.


Jen said...

Katie ~

I wish you a happy, and most healing time this coming weekend. I hope you find peace in being surrounded in people that somewhat "get you." I hope you find comfort in hearing and hearing and sharing stories. I hope you find respite in only being responsible for yourself, and yourself only for a little while.

I'm not the wife of a wounded warrior, but am the mother of a very hurt little girl. Boy can I relate to many of the things listed on Facebook.

Wishing you well this weekend!



P.S. I am so amazed by Ben (and of course YOU), but my goodness, he has come such a long way!

And another...I'm in love with Diesel. I have a mixed black lab and love her to absolute pieces! Don't they bring such an amazing amount of life to our whole troubling situations?!?

Anonymous said...

I love reading your updates, Katie! This list about what kinds of things really touched me. I'm so proud of you and blessed by your perseverance as well as Ben's. You guys are awesome!! Miss you and love you, Naomi Dillon

Emily w/Amazing Grapes said...

I hope you have such a great time with the ladies. It sounds like its needed for all that can go.

Those comments they left are so moving. But its great to read the strength in them as well, and love for their husbands.

have fun!