Sunday, October 31, 2010
happy hearts...
Ben's buddy down the hall..."why are pirates so mean? (he was dressed as one) Ben-"why?" C-"because they just ARRRRRR!" B- "that's funny!" (huge smirk on Ben's face!) B- "bwahahahaha!"...his scary laugh!
Ben and I had an outting this weekend and it was the first time ON OUR OWN!
A friend that we met recently blessed us with a whole weekend at this amazing place...
We took off on Friday after Ben's therapies were over and headed to the Westin. There were a few things Ben had to do and then it was time to hit the sack! This is the first time in over 14 months that I have been able to sleep in the same bed with Ben! He has been in a hospital bed this whole time and me in mine. The emotions of security, being loved and just being held in his arms all came back to me! I felt so protected and close just being able to lie next to Ben! I will say that I didn't get to much sleep the first night...I kept waking up to make sure he was still breathing! I have to compare it to that nervous mom who has to keep checking to make sure her new born baby was still taking in air! I know I was to be relaxing just like Ben was in our plush, oversized oh so comfy bed but I couldn't help it!
Saturday we chilled all day long! We ate breakfast in bed, didn't get out of bed until after 11, watched movies and read books! It was so relaxing and enjoyable! There was no rushing to get up, get to therapies or race to a meal! Just plain chillaxin!
The best part of the day was opening all the cards that you sent to Ben...and me! I think I counted over 150 letters and there are still more on their way!!! It took over 3 hours to open and read them all! These notes came from all over! People whom we know, folks that we didn't know and friends or relatives of those we know! We even had some from the staff and nurses in the ICU where Ben was first admitted after the accident. I was blown away by the words that were written inside for Ben...I was in tears for the majority of the time! What encouragement was sent his way! The words, scriptures, poems and motivation that was included was amazing to read to him! Thank you also to those who included me in your encouragement...it meant alot!
Sunday we slept in but not as late as Saturday. I took care of things in the morning and Ben snuck in one more nap in the bed before I got him ready! I guess he just didn't want to get out of that heavenly bed!!
We are now back in the hospital...we both drug our feet the whole way back! I guess we turned into a couple of crazies after we had to leave because we ended up looking like this...
{I asked Ben to describe me and that's what he said!}
Thursday, October 28, 2010
our day...
So, while Ben slept I watched the Biggest Loser (yes I remember what was on) and feasted on anniversary treats! The Lord has brought Ben so far because this is what we did all day this year...
Of course there was no day off for Ben and he had his typical day with therapies! Let me just say he sat and balanced for a good long time and had an amazing walk down the hallway with HIS HEAD UP! Ben and me and his parents to root him on! He did awesome and it was like Ben was telling me...I am working extra hard for our anniversary day!
At lunch time some of the nurses and staff snuck out and sang Happy Anniversary and gave us a sweet treat!
After lunch Ben got a short break and then it was off to more therapies! Therapies for his eyes, Rec/Speech therapy and neuro psych!
Best part of the day...we got to go our for dinner!! This is the first time in over a year that Ben and I have been able to go out for dinner!! He was tired after a full day of therapies but he still wanted to go! We went to the Olive Garden and Ben ATE! He was just so happy that it was not hospital food!
After dinner I was able to tell him that I had a special treat for him and told him about people writing him encouraging notes!! He said OOHHH!!! I started taking them out of the bag and kept stacking them up on the table! We didn't open them there (we are saving them for this weekend's surprise) but we continued to have fun! To end the evening after dinner our Rec therapist brought us back and asked if she could give us an anniversary present and pray for us! What a blessing that was to have her pray over Ben and I!
Ben got back to his room and pretty much crashed! We found a note waiting for us on his bed from Ben's neuro psych doc that was another blessing! I then asked if he was going to snuggle or just go to sleep and he said, "just go to sleep!" I asked did he want to just to go back to my room so he could sleep and he said, "no, stay and snuggle while I sleep!" After I snuggled for a bit and then headed back to my room for some shut eye! When I got there I found flowers in my room from BEN!! Sneaky, sneaky!! He worked with someone and gave me a sweet surprise!
His note said...Happy Anniversary Katie! You are the most amazing wife! I am so thankful for you and all you do for me! You are the love of my life. Ben
All in all we had a lovely day! Jesus has blessed us with eachother and for that I am so grateful! Even though this is never where we thought we would be it is where we are and I am tankful that I get to be with my man! I love him so much!
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
three years of lovin...
Snuggling with Ben the other night and I say, "I love you!" Ben- "I love u too!" Pause. Ben- "I thank you." Me- "why?" Ben- "because you stayed with me!" Me- "it is my honor to be with you!"
PLEASE PRAY FOR BEN'S SMILE TO COME BACK!!
THE BEST IS YET TO COME!!
Friday, October 22, 2010
Songs by Ben...
I wanted to just post a few videos of Ben singing two of his favorite hymns! Usually at night we sing some worship songs together and some hymns that Ben picks out! These are two that he continues to select in our time together! It warms my heart to hear him sing praises to Jesus!
They sound so much better in person as these clips are from my phone but they sound good anyways!
Onward Christian Soldiers...
Amazing Grace...
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
One more week...
So I wrote this post http://katieandbenupdates.blogspot.com/2010/09/notes-of-encouragement.html the end of September!
I cannot wait to give them to Ben and get a photo
For those of you who are still getting
them out the address is:
Fisher House
Ben and Katie Rye
PO Box 1886
Los Altos, CA 94023
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Faithful is He...
God does not love you less today because
of what you did yesterday. GOD IS FAITHFUL
to do what He has promised. God loves faithfully.
God does not have love, GOD IS LOVE.
God defines “love”. Love does not define God.
Know therefore that the LORD thy God, he is God,
the faithful God. That is His Name. Our Lord is
“called Faithful and True! It is HIS FAITHFULNESS,
not ours, but the Lord is faithful, who shall
stablish you, and keep you from evil.”
FAITHFUL IS HE that calls you, who also WILL DO IT.
Salvation is of the LORD. Rest in HIS FAITHFULNESS!!
The following is yet another way Jesus continues to be faithful to us...
Sunday was a lazy kind of day for both Ben and I. I had to say goodbye to my sis and bro-in-law and their lil Larsen so of course that was not the easiest! Our time with them was so much fun! It was a dreary, rainy day...I think this is the 2nd time it has rained since we have been here! It was super cold too...low 60's...it was in the upper 90's earlier this week! Cold and wet weather means lazy times and snuggles!
We hung out in the morning and while I was on a task of transfering photos from my old computer to my new one Ben was watching football! He was keeping track of the score for me and when I would ask him what it was he would look at the tiny little place in the left hand corner and read it off to me! He did great and so did our teams!
Lunch came next which was a mixture of his own tray and also some food from the Elks club...on the menu calamari steaks. I asked Ben if he wanted some and he said yes. I was surprised because he doesn't like seafood! I asked him what it tastes like and Ben said, "chicken!" I then asked him if he knew what calamari was (just to see if he remembered) and he said, "squid!" I like calamari but not the steaks so I opted out of it!
We had a little more time to chill after lunch and during the commercials in the football game we got Ben shaved up, teeth brushed and face washed! After this it was PT time...and this was an amazing day for Ben! He did THREE NEW THINGS today and one extra new thing a few days ago that I forgot to mention!
1...Ben did awesome in his balancing on the mat. He sat all by himself and really got his head up alot higher then normal! He did a new leaning over move and balanced himself in that position too for a long bit! Another part of this mat work is that he sat and balanced with his left hand (weaker arm) and used his right to reach across his body, grab the come and stack it on his right side!! He did it first with his PT behind him just in case Ben fell back then after that his PT moved to his left side! Ben loved this new task! (see videos at bottom of blog)
2...Ben has been working on rolling over onto his tummy on the mat for some time now! Usually he needs a little help getting started and then getting on his stomach. This time...no help needed! It took him a little longer but he did it all by himself! Ben did all the right steps and did it well! Of course he was not enthused with the stretching that followed but he managed it well!
3...Ben has been working on his walking with the regular walker and has been doing a great job! He has been working on his balancing while standing with just the walker. Today he was walking (after all his mat work so he was tired) and when he got close to him room Ben's PT decided to take his hands away from Ben and see how he would do! Ben did AWESOME!! He still continued to walk on! His PT kept his hands close by and guided him along! Ben's working so hard to getting to his goal of walking down the hall with just a nurse...he thought of this goal all on his own and I am just fine with him walking down the hall with a nurse!! :) The photo below is from last week while working on his balancing! I was so thrilled with his walking that I didn't get a photo! Next time!!
4...and the bonus!!! Last Friday was pool therapy and Ben always looks forward to this time. Peter, my bro-in-law got to join him this time and they had a ton of fun! When we go back to Ben's room and him back in to normal clothes I told Ben that I was so proud of him! He then in a loud voice said, "I am proud of myself!" I then asked him, "why are you proud of yourself?" Ben responded, "I didn't fall out in what I just did!" Falling out is military jagon for quitting, not able to complete a road march, giving up and everything that has to go along with these terms! So, Ben was so proud of what he did and that he gave his all and didn't give up!! I was so surprised by his response because it is the first time in his recovery that he has said it!! His mood is coming around and he is realizing that he can be proud of himself!! His determination, hard work and faith in Jesus will get him through...yes, and me too!!
1 John 5:14 "And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us: And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him."
The faithfullness and love of the Lord is all over this e-mail! The Lord is hearing the cries of our hearts...not just mine...BUT ALL OF YOURS as well!!
I am so grateful to all of your who faithfully pray for Ben and I! I am humbled every day by people who pray for us that we don't even know! That you would take the time to do this for us is amazing and such a blessing! I blows me away and makes my heart happy!! Please continue to pray for us! As you can see they are working and although it is not in the timing that I may want it is in the Lord's and it is here and coming!! I praise Him everyday for what He has done for us and how much He has blessed us with! Ben and I will continue to have faith, trust and hope in Him and Him alone!!
PS...10 more days to get those encouraging notes in the mail for Ben!! See blog below if you have not read it...concerning sending him a note! I will be giving them to him October 27th which marks our 14 months post accident! Thank you!!
We love our visitors...
We have been blessed with so many people coming to see us!! I am so greatful to all those who have come and have been a huge support and encouragement!!
(My Uncle Joe and Aunt Sharon...just a few weeks ago!)
(pool time and the exercise ball)
(My sister Anne, bro-in-law Peter and Larsen)
(more fun therapy times!)
I wish you all could have seen this wheelchair ride that Peter took Ben on! It was classic! Peter just took ahold of the handle and took off! I thought Ben was going to have a hard grip on his handles but instead he had the smirkiest grin on his face every time I saw him come around!! I asked Ben how he felt after and he said good! I then asked him why he felt good and he said, "that was the best ever!"
(these photos don't do his reaction justice!)
(my family and our new friend Joe M!)
(and of course me and Larsen! love him!)
Faith, trust and love...
Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength...
"Hey sweetie I am a little worried about you and I will share some of the verses that I read today, and something that I wrote yesterday. I miss you tons and it sucks knowing at you are home without me.
Matthew 14:28 "And Peter answered him and said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water. 29 And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afaid; and begining to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me. 31 And immediately Jesus streched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?
Wow I love this and I hope it helps. Even men that walked beside the Lord in flesh couldn't even trust Him the way He wants us to. He knows that we try but we can't and He is aways there to pick us up and say "Keep going son or dauther I am here, walk with me on the water, trust me."
I hope this helps because I feel the waves trying to drown us and He is reaching out and all we need to do is grab hold. HeeHee again I love you and I can never say it enough!"
Ben
(E-mail from Ben 8/27/2007 while deployed!)
The above e-mail says it all! My man is a very wise man! I am seeing Ben live this out every single day even if he doesn't want to! Ben is trusting our Jesus to get him through this and to help him everyday. It gives me strength at teh same time...builds my trust too!
I just need to trust the Lord more and more each day! As I trust Him He will fill me with more faith, hope and the strength to move forward! I don't want to be the man on the boat that cannot have faith that he will be protected...even when Jesus was right next to him in the flesh! Yes, it is always easier trust in something that is right in front of you but when I can say, "I trust you Lord" and it be when He is not pysically beside me I know takes great faith! You and I will be honored for that!
Be the person in the boat that trusts Jesus with your whole heart even when you cannot see Him with your eyes!
I was gently reminded by a lovely lady this last week of something that hit me hard in a good way. She wrote, "I know it has to be hard for you to see those happily married people - and worse - those who have the marriage, kids, etc and are throwing it all away - but you ARE happily married despite an unhappy situation and that is something to be proud of." I also read a quote this week about a marriage and she said, "I am so bored with my marriage!" Despite the journey of recovery we are on I can proudly and happily say that Ben and I are blessed and have a happy, strong marriage! It is easy to get down in the dumps about things and how life is right now and it is ok for me to do that. It is how I choose to deal with those feelings and how long I allow them to stick around that is the issue. I can also so that I have never been "bored" in my relationship with my man. Yes, we may still be considered newly weds but that is not the reason we are still toghere...it is the love the Lord has given to both of us for each other! This journey is also not boring...so fully of new things each and every day, both hard and enjoyable! I am greatful to the Lord, that He has given me a man that loves me, cherishes me, and tells me verbally multiple times a day I LOVE YOU!
Friday, October 15, 2010
baby visitors...
Monday, October 11, 2010
Typical day...
Some people have asked me what a normal day for Ben and I looks like! For those who are not able to visit it is hard to know of what all goes on! I have mentioned before that this journey is not an easy one and I don't sit around all day with nothing to do! Physical stuff is draining and then you throw in the emotional side and that is even more!
Ben and I are busy most days of the week! The weekends are a bit more quite if we don't go on outtings but for the majority of the time we are busy!!
Here is an example of a typical day (this was last Thursday):
0900 – Speech therapy
0930 – Meeting for me
1000 – Physical Therapy (walking with walker and balancing in parallel bars)
1100 – Occupational Therapy (arm pullies, stretching and arm bike)
1200 – Lunch…I am there to help Ben eat
1300 – Rec Therapy (today was a bike ride)
1400 – Neuro Psycology (usually at 1600)
1500 – Ben watching a movie and resting. Me, catching up on e-mails, running errands, attempting to cross things off my list(s), making phone calls.
1700 – Helping Ben eat
1800 – more list crossing, Ben using bathroom, more things….
1900-2000 – Ben back to bed, snuggle time and devotions
2100-whenever – Me back to my room for a deep breath! Blog writing, show watching, cleaning room and catching up on all the other loose ends!
As you can see our days are full! Sometimes I will sneak away for a bit but for the majority of the time I am with Ben.
Prayer requests:
-Biggest one...our insurance will approve the next facility. Although we are covered 100% they can always say no especially to a very expensive facility!!
-Memory and processing in Ben's brain to improve!
-His smile!! He still works hard for it! (I want the smile that is in above photo!)
-Head and trunk control. He has the muscle now it is remembering it and looseing of it all.
-Speech, to initiate more, use sentances, more words and build upon what he has!
-Strength to endure. Ben and I were talking about how God is continuing to heal Ben and Ben said, "it is taking to long!"
-God's perfect timing for many things
-I am dealing with jealousy as to what people have now and what we don't...sometimes it is longings and some times jealousy....heart needs to be softened!
Blessings!!
More zoo photos to come!!!
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Trust Me...
God, is it true that you're thinking of me at this moment?
God, is it true that you hear every prayer that I pray?
God, is it true every time my heart beats, you know it?
Well, if it's all true, then that must be you I hear saying, "Trust Me."
God, is it true out of all things you're doing on this planet,
Could it really be true that you've counted the hairs on my head?
God, is it true, every day of my life, you have planned it?
Well, if it's all true, then that must be you I hear saying, "Trust Me."
Trust Me, Trust Me, I'll never leave you.
I'll never forsake you, Just trust me.
God, is it true that your love for us is never ending?
Could it really be true that you'd die before letting us go?
God, is it true that not even death can separate us?
Well, if it's all true, then what can I do but put all my hope and all my trust in you?
Well, I know it's true and I know it's You I hear saying,
"Trust Me." I hear you saying, "Trust Me." (SCC)
TRUST - Ability to reliy on another person's integrity, strength, sureness. To expect confidently, to believe, to have trust or confidence in; rely or depend on.
Some days it is easy to trust God and others not so easy. Even on the good days it is hard! I often ask myself and the Lord why it is so hard especially when I hear the song above and reading it in His Word. Then I get to thinking about Ben and I. He tells me he is worried about what is going to happen from here and I tell him what the few nexts steps are hopefully going to be and I ask him if he trusts me. Ben says, "I trust you." When I go somewhere and tell him that I am coming back to him I ask him if he trusts me and again Ben will say yes! I don't know all of Ben's thoughts behind his response but he says he does. I say that I trust the Lord and yes, it is easy to say! I say, "yes Lord I trust You" but then go on to question but what is going to happen next, what about this, what about that, why are we here, are you looking out for us, why are you entrusting Ben and I to this situation. It's just as easy for me to trust the Lord but then to turn around and fly a bunch of questions and doubt back at Him!
I am working on this...and it is hard! I am sure it will be something that is never mastered but it can be improved to a whole new level! "Trust Me, Trust Me, I'll never leave you. I'll never forsake you, just trust me." So, I keep on trusting, seeking and hoping...and encouraging Ben to do the same, not just in what I tell him but what the Lord has told him. That is the most important!
Again this week has been busy! Ben and I had Tuesday and Wednesday together and then Thursday morning we were visited by Ben's battalion doc Major Miles, Ben's new XO Major Brown and his wife Kris and a very sweet man Joe M! We had a meeting that morning to discuss some future plans and check in on how Ben is doing! They were able to stay part of Thursday and then come back on Friday for Ben's PT session. Major Brown and his wife were kind enough to invite me to dinner Friday night and we had fun!
Ben continued on with all of his therapies this week and of course is working super hard! In PT he continued with his usual pool time, walking and stretching but this week they incorperated alot of ball exercises for stretching, balancing and core. Jody if you are reading this you will be proud and it takes me back to the days when I would come to your Core and More class...one word...brutal! Haha yet so rewarding!
Most of the time Ben was accepting of these new positions but as you can see on one of the photos below he was not so thrilled! At one point on the ball he said, "I don't like this!" I asked him what he didn't like and he responded in a very loud voice, "this ball!"
Today we played a lil of balloon volleyball/tennis/soccer. We used a balloon with a line as high as a volleyball net, foam paddles like rackets and they could use their feet! Ben did great and so did the other patients that are at higher and lower levels then Ben!!
Tomorrow we are off with another patient and his wife to the San Francisco Zoo!! The animals Ben has requested to see are the tigers and zebras! I will make sure he sees them both plus several more!! He's just excited to get of the hospital ALL DAY!!!
PS...don't forget to send Ben an encouraging note by Oct 27th! See Sept 30th blog for information on this!!
PLEASE PRAY FOR THIS FAMILY!! I have been following their blog and they are suffering by loosing 3 beautiful blessings in their lives! Breaks my heart!!
http://www.lesliejoyevans.blogspot.com/
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Remember your potential...
"Be men of courage; be strong." (I Cor. 16:13)
"Never pray for an easier life-pray to be a stronger person! Never pray for tasks to equal to your power-pray for power equal to your tasks. Then doing your work will be no miracle-you will be the miracle! Are you willing to sacrifice to reach the glorious mountain peaks of God's purpose for you?" (SITD)
Be strong!
We are not here to play, to dream, to drift;
We have hard work to do, and loads to lift.
Shun not the struggle; face it!
It's God's gift!
Be strong!
Say not the days are evil-who's to blame?
Or fold your hands, as in defeat-O shame!
Stand up, speak out, and bravely, in God's name!
Be strong!
It matters not how deep entrenched the wrong,
How hard the battle goes, the day how long,
Faint not, fight on!
Tomorrow comes the song!! MB
I was able to sneak away for a few days over the weekend for a bit of fun and chill time! A couple that Ben and I know and some of my family members were going on a quick weekend trip and they invited me to go awhile ago. I told them I just don't know because of the dates. Well, my friend text me at the beginning of last week and I said ok!! We didn't tell my family that I was going to be there so they were all fully suprised!! We all had a blast and it was good to get a change of scenery for a few days! Oh but I did miss my Ben! I called him 2-3 times a day and loved that I could chat with him and that he could use his voice! I thank Jesus for that always!!
Today was a good day for Ben. He wrote a letter with ST for me. His ST would ask him a question and he had to fill in the blanks! It was a sweet lil note...although this one didn't include the word sexy and beautiful like the last! :) She also said that they have been doing some reading. She google popular scriptures because she told Ben that she was not religious but maybe he could teach her and help her learn some things! WOW!! She is asking Ben, with a brain injury, to help her learn more about God!! I was so amazed and excited at the same time!!
After ST Ben had PT. He slowly wheeled himself, with his feet and hands, to the therapy gym. After that he was able to help transfer himself to the mat. He got alot of spine and scapula stretching! He started grunting and saying Rangers Lead The Way the moment he got on a new round, stiff piece of styrofoam! It looked so uncomfortable but he was a trooper!
Following PT was OT...Ben and I taught his therapist how to play WAR! This really helped Ben do stretching of his arms, reading numbers, problem solving and so many other things he had to use his brain for!
Lunch followed OT and then we went to my room and of course Ben took a nap! We were able to rest and relax until we needed to head back to Ben's room for Neuro Psych.
His doc greeted Ben and got down to business asking him about his mood, how he was doing, how he felt his progress was going and a few more things. One thing that she spoke to Ben about is the fact that some of her patients don't have the potential to get better because of their medical issues. She told Ben that God has given Ben the potential to get better!! She stated that God has given you the opportunity to get better so RUN WITH IT! Ben stated that he doesn't feel very strong and she went on to ask him where he gets his strength from and Ben said the Lord. She was very good to encourage him with scripture and the positives of life. She asked him to list some things that are happening to him that are good and Ben said these 3 things:
getting better, I'm healing and Katie! Ummm, well that just melted my heart! At the end of the session Ben had a good idea of what he needed to do and was encouraged to remember the potential the Lord has given him for more healing and restoration!
During this session we got a visitor! I keep Ben's window open during the day to get some fresh air and look who poked his lil head in...Covin!! He is the therapy dog that comes to see Ben but just happened to be here on an extra day! Of course I had to feed him a banana, his favorite treat!!
He was a great visitor to end the day of therapies!!
PS...the encouraging notes are rolling in!! Keep them coming, I will be saving them and giving them to Ben Oct 27th which marks 14 months post injury!!
Friday, October 1, 2010
address...
ya'll where to send the cards!!
yes, please send them to the Fisher House
address which is:
Fisher House
Ben and Katie Rye
PO Box 1886
Los Altos, CA 94023
Thank you so much!!!