catch up...

"Where there is love there is life."

geesh, seems like every time i sit down to right a blog update i get distracted, just want to spend time with my man in the evening, or oh wait, get distracted.

currently ben is watching the tour de france so i have some time while he is distracted by that! actually it is his choice because a few days ago while watching olympic swimming trials (again his choice but i love too) he saw an advertisement for it and kept track of the days to when he could watch it! he is in charge of the controller this am...that's what I get for having a man who used to be an avid road biker on my hands!

these past few weeks have been busy, yes i say that alot but it was! even it being busy i was able to sneek away for a few days to san diego! yes you read it right, i flew two states away! the last time i was away (and the first time i had left ben overnight since being home) was back in march for the wounded warrior wives retreat. this time i went during the week for four days. it was hard to leave but once i was on the plane and knew that i couldn't just jump out to get back to ben i was alot better!

i went down to hang with my amazing friend lindsey! it was going to be a time of relaxing but yet having fun. we pooled it, beached it, climbed it, ate it and funned it up! it was weird to wake up (no i couldn't sleep in even though i tried) and not have any responsibities but me. ususally it is getting ben up, breakfast, meds, ready for therapies and the activities of the day...it was weird but a good break!

here are just a few pics of our fun times (i actually didn't get that many and there are tons on linds phone i have to get)...

{left the rain}

{for the sun and palm trees}

{first stop!}

 {we reached the top}

{the view}

{loved me some beach}

{no, the colors were not planned!}

{friends unite!} 

{havent seen shelly in years!}

i got home last thursday night and the next morning were were out the door and on our way to easetern washington. my lil bro who graduated this year was selected to play in the all star highschool football game. some of my family hoteled it and some camped it. when we were not at the hotel we were hanging with everyone at the campgrounds that was less then 10 min away! we had a busy weekend but it was alot of fun!

{making signs for uncle wilson}

{and the girls}

{lil bro is #12}

{prob the best burger joint in wa!}



when we got home some of our flowers needed some watering but these beauties came from the yard...

{rose}

{peonies}

this week was getting back into the swing of things. there were a few added appointments for ben and also some therapy time changes so it was more like juggling the calendar in all different ways. ben ended up in the orthodontist chair on post. it should have happened a few months ago but that's a long story. he has major issues going on with his mouth that may include a broken jaw stemming back to the accident. we are being referred to the oral surgeon and so we go up there on monday. i am praying against a broken jaw but if it is there it would explain alot of ben's issues he's had! hopefully we will get answers on monday and see what that treatment plan will be. please be praying for that!

we wanted to thank you all for your support, thoughts and prayers after diesel passed away. it has been hard on both of us but we are getting through it. when ben sees other dogs that is when he feels it most. we did get some answers and they were that he had some necrotic (dead) tissue in his bowel track and 3 areas where his bowels actually ruptured. even if i would have taken him in when i got home there was nothing that we could have done. it was just a very sad situation. we will get another pup but as to when we don't know. summer is probably not the best time just because we have alot going on and we will also have to decide it we want another puppy (we love them) or get a dog that already has his service dog training. maybe we will get a lil one (loving me some french bulldogs) and then get one that is trained already. we shall see. another goal would be to get in our own home first. that we would love to happen sooner then later!

thank you for baring with us and our random posts that seem to be few and far between! summer months get busy and i have a feelin they just might keep getting busier with upcoming plans! :)





diesel...

sad, heart breaking news

diesel passed away last night

very unexpectantly and very quickly

i was on the phone with the vet office

and while i was on hold i went to check

on him and he was gone...

he is going back to the vet this morning

to see if they can find out what

went wrong since his surgery was on

tuesday. i hope they do because it

might bring a little more closure.

our sleep last night was not good

ben kept waking up and talking

about him and i just couldn't sleep.

ben blamed himself and so did i but

we talked about it and know that is

so not the case nor should we go there.

we woke up this morning and all of the

reminders were there. the dog bone, the

leash, the ball, the collar, the dirty wet

kissed sliding door, the dog hair,

his toys, his tail not leaving bruises on our

legs and so many more things.

we have had him since he was 6 weeks

old and he was almost 10 months...

he worked his way into our hearts and there

he forever will be. he became apart of

our family and for as much as he was a stinker

he made up for it in his crazy sweetness.

please pray for us as we walk through this

time and our hearts are hurting.

we will miss him so much...

Diesel aka Stinker Butt August 27, 2011 - June 15, 2012

poor diesel...

If I am friends with you on facebook or you follow "Prayers for Ben" on facebook you would know how our afternoon has gone down! Ben and I are just fine but Diesel our pup has had a rough few days and afternoon.

This past Friday afternoon I noticed he had been a bit sluggish and he was refusing to eat. Ben I took off for an over night trip (blog post to come) and my brother tended to him. Well, Diesel didn't eat that night or the next am. We got home in the afternoon and he was still sluggish and just wanted to sit close to us. I watched him for a few days. He would play fetch, drink water and lay down. Poor guy just didn't look to hot!

Thursday he had some rocks in his crate so I knew he had swallowed them and got them back up...this is not new for him at times! I took him to the vet today and she checked him out saying he didn't have a temp, heart and lungs were good and she didn't feel anything in his stomach or intestines. She wanted to do an xray just in case.

It was a few minutes later and I heard shrieking from the xray room. I had stayed put in the exam room and I am glad I did because Diesel decided that he would have a huge blow out back there! I am sure he felt much better after the case but I'm sure the techs were not to thrilled...although they were all laughing and I heard, "no way" "oh my gosh we have a big one" and "umm, this is Diesel and we think he has a rock in his gut!" Well, they got the xray and sure enough he had a massive rock in his small intestines!

I left him there to have immediate surgery and they said the vet would call when he was out. Poor guy was to get a midline incision large enough for the vet to get his hand in his abdomen, iv's, monitoring and pain meds! I know it's not the same but it took me back to the days or my surgery although it was seat belt related and not rock!
The vet called me about 2 hours later and said that they had retrieved the massive rock that was lodged deep into his small intestine and caused significant inflammation.

Diesel will be monitored there for the next few nights. He will have to be on pain meds and IV fluids and then weaned onto food and see how he does.

The timing of this incident is good and bad. I am glad that we caught it and that we were able to get it taken care of quickly. It's just that schedule and emotional wise there is so much going on in our lives! We really didn't need this but here it is!

We would appreciate your prayers at this time. The biggest prayers is for when he comes home we can keep him laying low so he doesn't burst his incision and also that there is no infection. Also pray for us as this week is super busy and full of stuff! We will be fine but your prayers are appreciated!

Oh and if anyone has any ideas on how to keep him from eating rocks besides keeping him crated that would be great!!

self steps and pull ups...

Saying we are busy is an understatement! Saying we are, ok maybe just me, tired is an understatement! Saying our brains are on overload, another understatement! We are busy, tired and the brains are def on overload! I don't know if anything else can fit in our brains! Earlier today as we were talking to Ben's OT I said something and it didn't come out right. Ben looked at me and said, "and you say I have the brain injury?" Seriously the nerve of that man in that moment. All we could do was bust out in laughter! I will agree Ben has the traumatic brain injury but I have aquired brain injury better known as ABI! Everytime I went to start a blog I would wake up...yup, that's how I am at night! tonight is the night for a blog post!

There is no way that I can go back and post all of the pics, videos and updates that have been going on! Way to many! I will share some amazing things Ben has been doing in therapy just in the past few days and then also some random things.

So as some as you know, and you follow our Prayers for Ben on facebook. I have been better at putting things on there that Ben has said or things that are going on. I wanted to share some of those with y'all who just read on here too. Some are funny, amazing and bitter sweet!

...while laying in bed and waking up Ben told me that he wanted to use his GI bill, become a physical therapist to help soldiers and others get better

...listening Ben pray in bed after he told me he's discouraged and bitter of the fact he was in the accident and cannot do the things he wants. I told him the best thing to do was pray and let Jesus know his heart! Lord bring more healing to your son and bring peace to his heart...

...this morning I gave Ben his pants and tshirt while he was sitting on the couch. I went to our room to finish getting ready and I knew that his shirt would be on when I came out and then I would help him put his pants on. To my surprise he had both his shirt and pants on! I asked him how he did his pants and if he stood up to put his pants on. He did not stand but he said he just moved them up! WOW! I think I will soon be fired as his care giver and just be his wife...

...took Ben to get his get his haircut for the first time in almost 2 years! Yes, I had been cutting it! After he saw it and we were in the van he said, "you're fired!" Say what! Haha I will glady accept that firing...

...ben saw someone smooch on tv and he looked at me and told me he remembered our first kiss! He gave me the details and got all bit one lil detail right! He kissed me and the said our kisses today are much more meaningful. love him...

It is all these lil things that amount to big things!

So, on to some amazing video clips I have! Ben has been doing so well and working so hard in his therapies. He gets so frustrated when he cannot do more or do it better but just reminding him how far he has come seems to help a bit. Of course to him if it is not 110% every time it is never enough but his 110% is just different now!

So, he wanted to do some pull-ups last week. First attempt, got his arms up, second attempt, this...

Something AMAZING Ben did today was take a few steps on his own! When I get this it was about his 5th time doing it so he was a bit sluggish but he did awesome! He was very proud of it for sure!

Pretty darn stinking cool huh! Prayers are continuing to be answered right before our eyes! We serve an amazing God! So awesome He is!

Ben is off of all the meds below. A few are duplicates but these were all the ones I threw away. Currently Ben is only on 2 seizure meds and vitamins. Our next step is to get him off the seizure meds and pray that he doesn't need to be on them. This will come in time...

Just a few random gym pics...

We got our hyperbaric chamber set up on Saturday. It has been a long time in coming but it is here and Ben has had a treatment every day since then. We pray over his treatments that the Lord would just use this piece of equiptment to bring more healing. The plan is to rent it for 2 months and then go from there. Today I sat in there and did my devotions. I read the Bible out loud and even though Ben couldn't hear me that well, his spirit was getting it!

Today Ben had his hyperbaric treatment, his own Bible reading time, Speech therapy, lunch, OT for 3 hours and then back to play with 2 nephews and a niece we had for a bit. When I came in from checking the meat on the grill this is how I found him, he was pooped...

I am sure I look the same at night but ha, no one is here to take my photos! I am sure that taking these of Ben and posting them will come back to get me because he may take some and post them at one point! Lord help me if that ever happens!!

Thank you for being patient with me on my lack of postings! Most weeks I think I am going to get better but as you have seen I get behind! Thank you also for your continued prayers! They are a huge blessing and are still very much needed! Y'all are a blessing to us...

where honor is do...

Honor Our Military

Let's honor our military,
The men and women who serve,
Whose dedication to our country
Does not falter, halt or swerve.

Let's respect them for their courage;
They're ready to do what's right
To keep America safe,
So we can sleep better at night.

Let's support and defend our soldiers,
Whose hardships are brutal and cruel,
Whose discipline we can't imagine,
Who follow each order and rule.

Here's to those who choose to be warriors
And their helpers good and true;
They're fighting for American values;
They're fighting for me and you.

By Joanna Fuchs 

Today we remember those who gave the ultimate sacrifice. Today we remembered the injured. Today we remember the wives of the fallen and injured. Today we remember the families of the fallen and injured. So many to remember, I wish it were not so. Alot of men and women have paid the ultimate sacrifice and alot of paid the injury sacrifice...fighting to get back to what they know how to do and to once again join the men they have fought with.

 

While in church today the congregation was asked to raise their hands if they were currently serving or had served. Ben raised his hands and put it back down. He likes to proudly say that he is a soldier but at the same time to humble to get the reccongnition. Our pastor once again asked for hands to be raised because much like Ben the others had put theirs down quickly. They were prayed over and it was a touching moment. Yes, they have done this before but this year all I could think in that moment was how Ben had been robbed from doing what he loves most...serving our country and doing his job well. I have not idea what the Lord saved him from but I do know in a way he was protected from something. It is hard to go on post, it is hard to see men in uniform...for both of us. Not that we have ashamed of anything or that we don't like it but rather that Ben is no longer able to do what he used to to. He loves his job and all he really talks about as far as his goals is to walk, get back to work, and scuff up some privates! Ben is a good leader, an amazing soldier and the Army has lost an amazing man to an horrific injury. He did state the other day though that when he "gets our of this situation and beats this injury" that he wants to become a therapist and help injured soldiers just like him. His heart for soldiers is amazing! I will continue to stand by him, love him...injured soldier and all!

 

I have not had the privilege of knowing the following young men but Ben knew most and a few were very good friends. They will forever be in our hearts...

 

Jason Kessler

Aaron Grider

Darren Hidalgo

Todd Weaver

David McDowell

Ricardo Barraza

 

The list of the injured we know could take days to list.

Please continue to lift up all families in your prayers and continually pray for those who are still fighting every day for our freedom. They deserve more then we will ever know!

13.1 done and done...

{love from my man at the finish line}

 

Well, yesterday was quite the busy and exausting morninng for us! I ran my first half marathon and Ben was there to watch and cheer me on! My motivation to run this was Ben. He works hard every single day and never gives up even when it gets so hard for him to move forward! Ben is a man who will not surrender to this brain injury and will not allow it to get the best of him. I needed something to do the same for me. Yes, it is challanging for me to live every single day in the brain injury world but I needed something outside of that to challange me. Sure, why not run 13.1 miles! Ha. When I told Ben that I was going to do this he said, "well if you are going to run the half why not just keep going and run the full marathon?" I told Ben that I would leave that to him and for now I would just focus on getting my feel across the start line and at least start!

The original plan was to run a 5 miler! I have never been in an organized running race before so I thought that it would be a good place for me to start. I asked my sister and she was in and then our lil bro's girlfriend joined in. About 5ish weeks before the race they came to me and said that I was easily running 5 miles already and so did we want to change it to running the half. I looked at them all crazy like and was like I run five miles easy...and you want to add 8 more miles to it?? Are you cray cray?

Well, I agreed to do it...a major challange was coming my way!

The training began! I continued to run my 5 miles and tried to add more to it. Because we have such lovely rainy spring weather here I did alot of my training on the treadmill! Thanks to Pandora I had some good tunes to get me through! It wasn't until about 3 weeks ago that I ran a lil over 8 miles indoors and about 1.5 weeks ago I ran 11 miles outside. I did not do any hill running at all and I knew that there were going to be a few but ehhh I would leave that to race day!

On race day it was not supposed to rain until the afternoon but guess what, right as we lined up to at the start line we felt rain drops...then rain and it didn't stop the whole time! It was actually a warmer temp and humid out so the rain actually felt fine!

All three of us girls started out together and we came across our first incline hill, and then it flattened out a bit and then another! I found myself cheering inside at a hill because I knew that I would get to go down in just a few moments! About mile 5 I was setting my own pace and the girls were a lil ahead. My eye doctor (known him forever because of church too) whom we had seen at the beginning of the race just happened to sneak up on us. We set a good pace for each other. The girls would come back and check on me and I told them just to go. I didn't want to slow Dr. B down so I told him he could go too. He didn't want to because he said that I was setting a good pace for him. So the girls went ahead. They would have stayed with me if I wanted but I knew that I would be fune! Ben and the rest of my fam was at about mile marker 6ish and when I got close I saw Ben sipping on Starbucks, a white chocolate mocha! How dare him! He did take a break to yell good job and give me a kiss before I took off again! I was happy to see mile 7, 8, 9....oh not to shabby, one foot in front of the other. Then there was one last hill, yup forgot about this one! It was grueling but I did it! I was by no means sprinting but I was jogging and still moving! When we got to the half way point I knew that I could do it...just felt so good to get to the half way point! After mile 10 Dr B was in unknown territory, after mile 11 I was in the unknown! We just kept telling each other mile 10!! Mile 11!! Mile 12 was an amazing marker to see but also the most grueling because my body was really starting to feel it! My hands felt like they were so swollen and I started getting some pain in my hamstring and then working its way to my knee! The amazing part is that I never felt winded to my lungs. I think from just all the running I had done that my breathing and lungs had really been built up! If I were running with lungs alone I could have gone on forever! Every time I wanted to stop I would think of Ben...I couldn't walk, I couldn't stop! Every step mattered! There is something that he says often and I said it to myself, "my healing is so close that I can just taste it." I said that but just inserted "the finish."

We were on the last stent, We saw the finish line ahead! One step in front of the other! We heard the crowd as we got closer! As we got closer the girls came back because they wanted to cross over with me! They had already got their time but of course it was nice of them to come back! Ben was there again to cheer me through the finish line and he was smiling!

We crossed and my legs turned to rubber! I could walk but standing was more difficult. I just had to keep moving for a bit or I felt like I would fall over! I think I downed some water, coconut water and chocolate milk. I got emotional as Ben, from his chair, kept telling me that I did a great job and that I finished. I told him I did and that I did it for him. He said I was amazing and someday soon he would be running one with me! We got some photos and then the chill set it and it was time to go and get a shower...a hot one! I did it! I finished! I didn't stop running! I beat my goal time!

**I actually just got off the phone with Dr. B who was calling to check up on me**

Stats from the half marathon...

My time: 2:13.32 (goal was 2:30 for my first one)

Average time/mile: 10:11

69/128 for age group

390/804 in women's group

756/1253 overall

Number of finishers: 1253

Female finishers: 804

Male finishers: 449

{pre race:starting to rain}

 

{were ready!}

 

{doc b and i}

{super close to the finish!}

{finished! good job from my man}

 

{done and done}

 

{and more done}

 

{i did it}

 

{finishers...still smiling}

We had thought about matching in blue but then decided not to...we all showed up in a shade of coral! Ha! I guess it was meant to be!

Thank you to all of you who knew we were going to be doing this race and sent prayers of strength and protection our way! Thank you also to all our family and friends who were there in the rain to cheer us on! It was fun to look forward to the cheers at the viewing points and get some good encouragement!!