Saturday, June 16, 2012


sad, heart breaking news
diesel passed away last night
very unexpectantly and very quickly
i was on the phone with the vet office
and while i was on hold i went to check
on him and he was gone...

he is going back to the vet this morning
to see if they can find out what
went wrong since his surgery was on
tuesday. i hope they do because it
might bring a little more closure.

our sleep last night was not good
ben kept waking up and talking
about him and i just couldn't sleep.
ben blamed himself and so did i but
we talked about it and know that is
so not the case nor should we go there.

we woke up this morning and all of the
reminders were there. the dog bone, the
leash, the ball, the collar, the dirty wet
kissed sliding door, the dog hair,
his toys, his tail not leaving bruises on our
legs and so many more things.

we have had him since he was 6 weeks
old and he was almost 10 months...
he worked his way into our hearts and there
he forever will be. he became apart of
our family and for as much as he was a stinker
he made up for it in his crazy sweetness.

please pray for us as we walk through this
time and our hearts are hurting.
we will miss him so much...

Diesel aka Stinker Butt August 27, 2011 - June 15, 2012


B. Wilson said...

Oh, friend. I'm so sorry. :/

This is never good news to read, especially knowing he's a special member of your family. Love to you guys.

Holly said...

It is always so hard to lose a pet, it really is like losing a part of your family. I'm so sorry for your loss, I'll be praying <3

Anonymous said...

So sorry for your loss!! It broke my heart reading your post! Prayers your way!

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Chelsea L said...

:( I'm so sorry to hear about your puppy. I'll say a prayer for you both. So sad :'(

Allie said...

I am so so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you all right now but I'm keeping all of you in my prayers. <3

Caroline said...

So sorry Katie. Dogs sure do have a way of working their way into your hearts. I hope you find peace and closure.

Mariette VandenMunckhof-Vedder said...

Dearest Ben & Katie,

This is tragic for losing Diesel so unexpectedly. Hope he didn't suffer much...
But the positive thing is that you had him till he was 10 years of age and that is a lot for a dog his size.
May you find solace in the many sweet memories of your loyal friend. Loved seeing the photos where he stayed with Ben as a loyal companion. He's guided him back to the stage he is at now, so feel honored for having had such a loyal canine walking besides you.

Ashley said...

I am soo sorry for your loss!!! I hope they figure out what happened!!! I hope you are able to find comfort in knowing that he is in a good place! Doggy heaven is full of good times!!

Nikki said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a pet is like losing a member of the family.

Grandma Becky said...

aw, sorry Diesel died and left only memories behind. Pets have a tendency to warm our hearts when they are around. Hugs and my prayers for you both at this time of loss. You did what you could for him. Don't blame yourselves, please! ;0)

Mrs. Mari said...

I am so very sorry.
peace be with you.

--Mrs. Mari

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know this is definitely a tough time for you and Ben. I pray that the Lord will put peace in both your hearts.

Chicago Girl said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Praying for you all.

Anonymous said...

Father knows each sparrow that falls. He, too, knows about Diesel. While dogs don't have souls and thus go to heaven, Father did say all good things He created will be in the New Earth. Therefore, I truly believe dogs will be there too. Wouldn't it be just like Father to have one just like Diesel. I love you, Marion

J and A said...

My heart breaks for you. Im so so sorry. :(

Life Happens said...

I am so sorry for your loss. ;0( I have a little dog that is constantly after the kids toys. Like you, I will find remnants of army men, Little People, etc. in his crate the next day. I just don't get the attraction he has to these things. He has a bunch of great toys and two other dogs to play with! We feed him a high quality food that he often turns his nose up at, yet he eats toys like they are going out of style! Reading your story makes me realize that I need to be even more watchful of him. It's hard because he is just so sneaky! It's in that moment when I am changing a diaper, or just have my hands full when he does this. Such an opportunistic little dog! From now on, I am going to put him in his crate at times when I can't adequately supervise him. I won't feel guilty about it either because it just might prevent a tragedy. Your story just breaks my heart! I will definitely be praying for you guys.

Karen said...

My heart breaks for you and Ben! Losing a pet is so so hard because they are more than just an animal... I don't know how they do it, but they come to represent so much more than simply being a dog, or a cat... I am so so sorry for your loss. He looked like such a sweet pup and it was clear that Ben, especially, loved being with that little guy. I, too, hope you get some peace and closure...

averyswifeliz said...

I saw this on your FB page and my heart hurts for your loss. I am so sorry to hear about Diesel. I hope they figure out what happened.

Jen said...

Ben & Katie ~

I am typing through tears right now, as my heart is broken wide open for both of you. My love of dogs is so intense, some think I am strange.

Our lines run parallel on the brain injury front, as I have written you before about my daughter. She was hit by a car - actually 3 years ago today.

Anyway, I lost my cat to cancer 6 months after that, and then was absolutely devastated when I unexpectedly lost my best yellow lab to cancer at the age of 7, eight months later. I thought, really? Really? Haven't we had enough? Been through enough?

My heart was shattered when I lost my girl. It was an insult to an already injured heart. I am feeling that very same way for you both. I am so very, very sorry. Sorry actually doesn't even begin to express what I am feeling.

As far as the reminders all around, we called those "Phantom Kama" it was terrible. I felt her everywhere. I heard her all over. I looked for her under the desk, at my feet. I swore she was there, but she wasn't, and that was a bitter pill to swallow.

Ironically, we had been in search of another pup for Kama, but then she got sick. When she did...suddenly it felt like a replacement and that was an impossibility for me.

The day after we said goodbye to our love, we had to leave to Philadelphia for yet another trip to the brain injury institute. We were there for 9 sad, long days. One day without a dog back, and I was ready. I could no longer be without that kind of love. I still feared it would feel a little like replacement, but I felt more like I loved dogs so much that I needed to give one a loving home, one I knew we could provide like no other.

We called to see if that particular dog we had looked at before was still available and due to a case of kennel cough, she was. We high tailed it to the Shasta SPCA and our girl Rainey was ours. She's a black lab mix. I never thought another dog could fill my heart, but she does. She is now my everything.

Don't get me wrong, I still cry all the time for my Kama Girl, as she is the one who carried me through this terrible accident, who was there for me to lay on, to soak her fur in tears, to prop our daughter up against while I learned to tube feed and care for our new little girl, etc.

I also still miss all the memories of the two of them together before that terrible day three years ago, running through the house, playing together, but they are truly both gone. I know you understand what I am saying.

I don't know, I saw your post and my heart broke for so many different reasons. It just made me feel that some have to endure so much pain.

My heart is so very heavy right now, my thoughts are with you and Ben.



Shannon said...

I'm so sorry Ben & Katie. Anytime we lose a pet, it is never, ever easy. Lots of love and hugs coming your way. Prayers for an answer.

Katie said...

Im so sorry! Losing a dog is one of the hardest things I have been through. We knew we were going to lose our dog though. We had a vet come to the house to put her down. Unexpected death of a dog would be even more heartbreaking. I can't imagine. Definitely thinking of you and Ben during this hard time.

Megan Peterson said...

I'm sorry for you loss. Pet owners all know that losing a dog can be very hard. I hope his unconditional love for you will still be there in your memories of him!

April said...

I am so sorry to hear about your beloved dog. They are such great friends and I know you feel the loss of yours. I'm so sorry!

Kelly said...

I am sorry for your loss. It is one of the hardest things to go through. You are in my prayers!

Anonymous said...

Ben and Katie, I am sitting here crying. I miss Diesel too. I loved all the pictures and the funny stories.
My heart breaks for you both. I am just so, so sorry.
Please keep us updated as to what caused it.

Love and prayers,

LaDonna Rae said...

Our pets become our 4-pawed "babys". I understand how you feel my white/yellow lab I had for 10 years passed on May 5 of this year. While I knew her age was catching up with her it was still a shock and it hurts...a lot. So ya I get it. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Anonymous said...

Oh, I'm so sorry for you both. I'll be praying for you.