Thursday, April 1, 2010
Trying to be a Mary not a Martha...
(Ben and Anthony a few years ago...one of his buds who came to visit...this is a rare scene!!)
Ben and I have been reading through Luke along with the Psalms everyday. It has been so good for both of us and I have been short verses and having Ben mouth the words as much as possible. A few nights ago while reading in Luke 10 I came across the story of Mary and Martha. It was when Mary and Martha welcomed Jesus into their home for a meal. Mary sat at Jesus' feet and Martha got to all the busy work. Martha came to Jesus and said, "Lord, doesn't it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me!" But Jesus said to her, "My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken from her."
I got to thinking about this and how I have at times in this journey fallen into the same trap! It happens both in the physical and the spiritual. In the physical I want to do everything I can for Ben! Be with him every moment, clean him, dress him, brush his teeth, shave, get him in his chair, feed him and so many other things! Did I mention that I want to be with Ben every waking moment!?! It took me a long time (through people who have gone before me) to realize that I could not do all of these things for my man but what I can do is be with Ben when I can and just love on him! Yes, I have to take that step back and literally sit at Ben's feet and love on him. Of course there are a few things that I still do when I am there because I am a tad, ok obsessed, with making sure his pearly whites are cleaned but for the most part I have stepped back and allowed the nurses to be nurses! There is a time when I may have to do all these things and more so I need to save up! Right now I encourage Ben to stay strong, tell him I am soooo proud of him, tell him to Ranger up, and just love on him with hugs, holding his hand and giving him LOTS of kisses!
In the spiritual part of this scripture Jesus is teaching me continually to sit at HIs feet and just listen. I can search for answers, ask questions, run around thinking I can take care of Ben and get him better on my own! All Jesus asks is for me to sit at His feet and relax in His presence! He has Ben and I in His hands...no matter how far I try to run from it some days. I try now everyday to be a gentle, loving wife to my Ben and also to sit at the feet of Jesus and let Him love on me! I know some days I will want to take things into my hands and things might get crazy but I am going to try my hardest everyday!
Ok...now on to my man this past week!
PT/OT - Ben has been on the tilt table with moving legs on it, tummy time, sitting on the side of the bed to help strengthen trunk control, up in the standing frame and wiping the table off, a new neck collar for a trial, ultra sound stimulation to his shoulders/neck, and lots of functional object use.
Speech Therapy - Ben has had a few tests in ST since we have been here and has scored 99% on both...the only remaining 1% that he didn't pass is talking! They have been working with Ben on oral tongue workouts and building that up. Things like licking the applesauce off different areas of his lips and sticking tongue in and out. Ben's ST is also getting him to mouth easy words that force him to use his lips like pop, mom...Ben is doing well with them!
Neuro Psych - this is one therapy that Ben has not had since Atlanta. His neuro psych doc has been very impressed with how Ben is doing. She says that in the week that Ben has been here he has stayed more alert, had better concentration and overall doing great! While working with him he has gone from distingushing 2 letter words to 7 letter words...recognizing what they are...all of them!! Ben has also been doing simple addition problems and getting them all right...he is now in the double digits! He has started in subtraction but still in the single digits there! Ben has also been able to know what his full name is, his birthday and some days what year! The way he does this is his doc will ask him if his birthday is in March, Ben shakes his head no, is it in July, Ben shakes his head no, is it in Feb, Ben knods his head yes!! He gets them all right! Before Ben has not been able to do this or remember it!! Ben is doing amazing with his neuro doc! Another wonderful thing is that she sees Ben 4 days a week at 4pm...Ben stays awake for the whole session and does great! In WA he had speech at 4pm and almost slept through every session!
I had a conference with Ben's whole team on Tuesday and it went really well. They all had good things to say and that they loved him already and were going to keep doing all the could for Ben. One good thing is that they are weaning Ben off of his Dilantin. This is a huge seizure med that he is on that is the most sedative as well. They will be decreasing this med every week for 6 weeks and then getting another EEG to see where the seizures are at. If there are no signs of the seizures then Ben will be off the Dilantin for good and just on 2 non-sedating meds for the seizures until they feel he can come off all of them! This is HUGE and prayerfully Ben will be off all of them soon!!
Since being here we have had some wonderful visitors! Two guys, who are now out of the Army live not to far away and have been able to come and see Ben a few times! Ben knows who they are and they were swapping some words and Ben using his head shakes! Another wonderful lady was a dear friend Shelly M. She came yesterday to spend some time with us...it was such a blessing to have her come and be with us!
I will be on here again soon!! Keep praying for my man...God is up to big things in his life!!
Blessings to you all!!
at 9:20 PM