Saturday, May 22, 2010

Roller coaster week and brownies...

God reserves His best medicine for our times of deepest despair.
Be strong and take heart. Psalm 27:14

Be strong He has not failed you in all the past,
And will He go and leave you to sink at last?
No, He said He will hide you beneath His wing,
and sweetly there in safety you then may sing!

We went through fire and water, but You brought
us to a place of abundance! Psalm 66:12

This week has been a rollercoaster! Happy times, sad days, emotional times...I think I have felt it all this week!
Ben has been doing great! There have been a few days that he has not slept well at night which makes him sleepy during the day. It just catches up with him sometimes and what he needs is a good sleep! Most nights he gets about 6-7 hours but others not as much!
On Tuesday and Wednesday we had the great honor of having Ben's commander Nathen and battalion doctor Ethan here...all the way from GA!! It was a blessing to have them here! They have not seen Ben since the end of Jan and were very happy with Ben's progress! Ben showed off of course and before Nathen left on Wed he said the Ranger creed with Ben!! Ben was able to mouth alot of the words with him from memory! So very proud of my man!
Ben continues to eat whatever is put in his mouth! A few things that he has been eating was tri-tip, meatloaf, bbq chicken, potatoe salad, pasta, yogurt, soup, and best of all brownies! He had a brownie last night and I asked if he wanted another and he nodded his head yes! I asked him how many and he showed me 2 fingers! So, of course I gave them to him...3 brownies and a whole carton of apple juice! 3 stinking brownies!! Most foods are just having to be cut up in to small pieces, otherwise he has no restrictions. His fluids are still slightly thickened but he drinks them all out with a straw. When he got here he couldn't barely take a sip out of straw! Give him a carton of milk to hold and drink and he has it down in no time!
He continues to mouth alot of words! This can be frustrating sometimes because I cannot get what he is saying! He has so much to say but still cannot get the voice out! Please pray it comes soon! In the mean time they have him saying words in every therapy! If a stanger were to walk in his room and say hi to Ben, he will mouth hi back! Way to go Ben!
I had a good/emotional chat with Ben's neuropsychologist this past week. She challanges Ben with his problem solving, math, reading, many other things and also monitoring his mood. It is very easy for brain injured patients to get demotivated and depressed so she has been monitoring Ben. He has no signs of that but she feels that he is tapping into the emotional side of things. In discussions with him she has found out that he knows that he is making progress and he is working very hard. She asked him to choose from a list of emotions that she had written down of what he may be feeling. He chose fear and anxiety. She again gave him another list as to what he might be fearful and anxious about and he picked marriage! When she was discussing this with me of course I was emotional and it broke my heart! I can only imagine the feelings that he is going through right now! Probably why would I stick around when he cannot do anything for me! I remind him every day that I am so proud of him, he is working so hard, I love him and all the ways that he is showing me how much he loves me! His doc said for as hard as this is for a wife to deal with she is glad that he is showing these emotions. She said she would be very worried if he was not and it is very common for them to go through this stage! I need the Lord more then ever during this time and so does Ben! I don't take this as a negative (although it is so hard to see and hear) but a step forward in his recovery!
She also said that many patients at Ben's point after the accident have already made their biggest improvements! Ben is beating those odds and still showing signs of recovery in leaps and bounds! Also, so good to hear that she prays for Ben and I on a continual basis! Good to have believers as your doctors and therapists!
So, you can imagine my emotions have been all over the place. I have also been dealing with some health issues that just want to make me ball up and sleep on the couch in Ben's room...and I have! I am starting to feel a little bit better but don't have much energy and am not sleeping all to well!

Prayer requests (have not done this in a bit):
1. Ben's voice to come back (I want to hear what it sounded like)
2. Extra boost in his energy level and better sleep
3. Loosening in his muscles throughout his WHOLE body (head to toes)
4. Eating would contine to improve!
5. Ben' mind, thoughts and emotions would be good and pure...praying against the enemy and the way that he can lie to us!
6. My health...I am pooped out physically and emotionally!
7. Good sleep for me
8. Direction for next steps!
9. Ben's 100% healing...praying that God would speed it up or give Ben a good boost to get there!!

Blessings to you all!

***In the photo above that says Army Rangers, Ben was asked to write what branch of military he was in...he wrote Army. Asked what group...he wrote Rangers. Asked what rank...SFC...he messed up, crossed it out and wrote it next to it (cannot see it!) He did it all on his own with no prompts!! Yea GOD!! Way to go Ben!


Rachel Schuman said...

Praying for you and Ben always.

Anonymous said...

Katie, How proud Ben must have been to have his commander and battlion doctor come see him. You have the right idea, Ben is showing you how much he loves you by trying so hard. A lesser man would have given up and said "poor me". Ranger Ben is coming out on T O P Ranger style. He is showing all these other weasly wimps how it's done. You just tell him that from me. I love you and your man and look forward to seeing you sometime. Your friend, Marion

Nicole said...

Continued prayers for you both. Thank you so much for the updates!!! I hope u are okay with your own health.

Lynnae said...

I am inspired by your faith and endurance. I pray for Ben's recovery and God's support to assist you.

Chelsea Robbins said...

Your posts always leave me in awe Katie. I am always moved to tears and inspired. I am with you girl-in prayer. God is so good to us. Cling to Him. I'm so glad to see Ben's progress. You're already showing yourself to be a steadfast wife to Ben and I really do pray that God blesses your relationship in a big way and that the fear and anxiety would be gone in Jesus name. You're an incredible woman.

My Dad had a brain anurism a few years back and was in the hospital for over a month. It was one of the hardest things in my life to have to see him try to get back to the man he used to be-and I count it a miracle that he survived and is now thriving. I'm believing the same for Ben.

Take care of yourself and get some rest.

Anonymous said...

You and Ben are in my and mine friends prayers. We are praying Ben will beat the enemy with God's help and that he will have a peace about his marriage. We are praying for you health also. Keep up the good work both of you. The battle is not yours but God's!