for your eye enjoyment...

"Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him." James 1:12



{i love being able to stand with Ben again and take photos!!}

I will for sure be blogging this weekend on all the fun and wonderful things Ben has done this past week! I need to start blogging and updating more so that my "weekly" blogs are not so long! Some people wonder what I do all day long that I cannot get on and write a quick blog...well, folks I don't sit around that's for sure! Just ask anyone who has come to visit! By the time I get back to my room the only thing that is on my mind is SLEEP! I am trying to get better though! I just have to pick the day/night that I want to blog on and then do it!!

Here are a few photos to give you a sneek peek into what our past week looked like! Ben and I had two very special people come and visit us this week and we had a blast! I will get more photos and updates up this weekend!






In the last photo Ben's physical therapist let go of him and had Ben balance with the walker all on his own! Ben, as you can see, did amazing!!

"For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised." Hebrews 10:36

a peek into my heart 2...

Yes, peek 2! Another part of this journey that has been so hard for me is seeing Ben working so hard on everything, every single day and not being able to remember the majority of it!
As a wife I have seen Ben work for many things in life. He has worked for promotions, written tests, physical tests, emotional tests, climbing mountains, schools, awards, races and so many other things! I am sure many of you have stood by your man or woman and have watched the same thing. They work hard, it sometimes takes long hours/days, they are pysically exausted, beat up, emotionally drained and so on.
In Ben's situation in his therapies right now he does all the above but the worst part about it...he cannot remember! When I tell him during the day and the end of the night all that he did that day and how proud of him I am Ben responds, "I don't see it!" Ben gives 100% each and every day but he cannot remember some of the things he did 10 min ago!
My heart breaks when he says he cannot see it. To Ben sometimes he feels like every day is the same and that he isn't getting any better! What gets to me is that Ben works so hard toward all of his goals, is getting there, but to him it is no where!
It is frustrating for both of us! You can imagine how it would be on him. For me my mind says why can't you just remember and my heart is crushed. Memory is not a word I like these days. It is frustrating to stand by my man and see him struggle and work SO DARN HARD and not be able to see where he has come.
I ask the Lord every day why He would allow his son to work so hard and not even be able to see the hard work be put into practice. I also still ask the Lord why we are where we are and if we are where we are now can He help my man out a bit so that Ben can be encouraged and strengthed!
So, from the above things that I wrote imagine if your love one failed at one of those things! Failed at getting the job, passing the test, losing the race...they feel like failures. They don't want to try again for a while and all that good stuff that comes along with the process. That is Ben, but he feels that every day...and still chooses to move forward! How am I as a wife be there for him, pray for him, cherish him, empower him and motivate him?? This question is hard to answer and I can only do what I know what I can do...be there for my man! Nothing changes because Ben has a brain injury. Brain injury or not I am going to do the same things, if not more for him now. I know that I can pray for my man, pray with him, read the Bible to Ben, worship with him and be by his side! Is this easy when he continues to say that he doesn't see it...of course not...because then I feel like it is not working. But in me thinking it is not working is telling the Lord that I don't trust Him and what He can do through all of what we are doing. I for sure do not want that!
So, in those times where your loved one is stuggling, striving for a goal, at their wits end or whatever the situation may be...stand by them, remind them of the goal, pray over them specifically, don't speak negatively, and trust Jesus with the results! Don't give up because you don't see the results in your timing but trust Jesus in His...even if it is the hardest thing you have ever done. I will admit this is the hardest thing I have ever done...the last thing I remembered before this was to pass my nursing boards...that seems so minute to what we are going through right now. But in both situations I had to trust the Lord in the timing and in the results!

"Do not let this happy trust in the Lord die away, no matter what happens. Remember your reward! You need to keep on patiently doing God's will if you want Him to do for you all that He has promised. His coming will not be delayed much longer. And those whose faith has made them good in God's sight must live by faith, trusting Him in everything. Otherwise, if they shrink back, God will have no pleasure in them." Hebrews 10:35-38

"So trust in the Lord (commit yourself to Him, lean on Him, hope confidently in Him) forever; for the Lord God is an everlasting Rock [the Rock of Ages]." Isaiah 26:4

"But you will not need to fight! Take your places; stand quietly and see the incredible rescue operation God will perform for you, Oh people of Judah and Jerusalem! Don't be afraid or discouraged! Go out there tomorrow, for the Lord is with you!" 2 Chronicles 20:17

a walking he will go...

{surprised by kisses during therapy}

First, thank you all for your amazing comments that you left on my last blog! It really meant alot to me and I was truly blessed! I am grateful that you could all see my heart and be blessed in your own!

Between yesterday and today Ben has had some hard yet amazing days in PT! His 1st Sgt came back for a visit and he was able to spur Ben on!
Yesterday Ben did 20 crunches and then 5 sit to stands with only help on the first stand! He also made 4 laps walking in the courtyard! The day before all he did was three and any other day only 2!! He got an hour break for lunch and a quick snooze and then we went out and rode bikes! I was in one with RT and Ben was in one with 1st Sgt Williams! We went out onto the sidewalk and then had a race around a large parking lot 2 times! These are not light bikes to get around in! I was having a difficult time pedaling but to Ben it was pretty much a breeze! Loved watching his face light up! His PT is looking into a bike to order for him that he might be able to use soon on his own!!





{bike buddies}

Today Ben graduated from the huge, bulky Arjo walker to a regular front wheel walker! This was Ben's first day using it and he made two loops in the gym! He did AWESOME!! There is a huge difference between both the walkers. The Arjo walker has arm rests that Ben can rest his arms on and lean his body into. It also as straps that can support his bumm. One other thing is that it helps to lift him up! With the front wheel walker Ben used today it gave him no arm support, he had to stand up on his own and move it himself! It brightened my day and he has officially graduated to his new walker!

{new walker!}



Lastly I put together a few photos of the progress that Ben has made even going back to when we were in Atlanta! He started out in a tilt table (couldn't find a photo), moved to a standing frame, next the Locomat, followed by the Arjo walker and finally the regular walker!! AMAZING if you ask me! Next goal...WALKING ON HIS OWN!!



Progression is being made and Jesus is doing the MIRACULOUS!!

1.“For with God nothing will be impossible.”(Luke 1:37)

2.But He said, “The things which are impossible with men are possible with God.”
(Luke 18:27)

3.“Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us.”(Ephesians 3:20)

A peek into my heart...

150th post!

A few ramblings from my heart...
I miss my man and what he was before the accident. He is still my Ben, my husband but things have changed for this season of our lives. Nobody can know what I am going through unless you have been in my shoes in some way. I just miss my husband and my best friend...plain and simple! I miss being protected by Ben, adored by Ben, challanged and taught. I cannot just jump in the car with Ben to go on a date, run errands or go work out...those times I believe will return but they are not there now!
One of the biggest things that I think I miss is his attention and his affirmation. I get to tell him all day long that I am proud of him, that he is doing a good job, he is awesome in all he does, he is a good man and husband and go up and hug and kiss him any time I want to! I don't get this anymore and I miss it so much! I never did ignore when Ben did this before but I didn't value it in the way that I would if I knew I wouldn't get it for a long time! I long for Ben's encouragement, his love and his passion for life! I will say that I got my first commment from him as his wife the other day. I put his blankets in the dryer to warm them up (do this a few times a week) and a few days ago when I put them on Ben he said, "you are the best wife!" I was bursting at the seams! He doesn't know how much I needed this!
One thing that does inspire me so much and gives me strength is that Ben never gives up. He is one strong man. Yes, he has stated that he wants to leave the hospital and go home but never has said he will give up or surrender! You think I am strong...just guess where I get a huge part of my strength besides the Lord!! Ben is amazing!
I am committed to my Ben, I am in love (more and more each day) with my Ben and I will be with Ben until literally death takes us apart! Ben is my soulmate, best friend and nothing can take us apart!
So, if you are married, do Ben and I a huge favor...love each other! Love each other like you have never loved before! Show each other that love by putting aside your own needs and take care of the one you love. Wives, respect your husbands...don't pull them down or shoot down their character. Husbands, love your wives. Not just in the "love" kind of way but in a way that shows you adore her and her alone! Love best motivates a woman and respect most powerfully motivates a man. Hold each other tight and thank the Lord for all He has blessed you with!

the Lord is working...

As I lay here and type in my bed this is what Ben is doing beside me...yes beside me on my queen size bed!



One of Ben's PT's helped me with transfers one day and showed me the ropes! I now (his weight and all) can somehow manage to get him in my bed in my room! Not only is it nice to be close to him outside the hospital but I can stretch out to on a bigger bed! Awwwhhhhh!! His tummy was full, he used the restroom, instumental music is playing and he is out!!

Yesterday we got to go to the opening Stanford football game! They played Sacramento State and needless to say Stanford crushed them! Ben LOVED it! He of course answered all of my football questions correctly (thank you dad for giving me all that football history) and even told me at what yard line the ball was several times! I asked him if he liked the game better then the Toby Keith concert and he said yes! Hahaha sorry Toby! We made it until after we ate hotdogs, garlic fries and the end of the 3rd quarter and then headed out! Ben did great and we are for sure going to have to go again!!





Praying for the miraculous is what I have been led to do. God has already been at work in out lives and working miracles in Ben's body...it is amazing to watch! I have been led not just to pray for miracles but to pray for the miraculous to happen! Bigger and better things are yet to come! Yes, it may take more time but it will come.
This past week has been really good for Ben and it has maily involved his mood! Everyday I have walked into his room and asked him how he was doing Ben has said good! His usual response in the past month has been "bad!" He still says that he doesn't have a good night sleep and that is due to "stuff all around" or "you were not here." Ben also has been stating that he is proud of himself and that he feels like he is doing a good job and getting better!! He usually says no to these answers and this week his responses are awesome!
On Thursday we were talking about something and he said, "I don't want to leave this place." I asked him why and Ben said, "because the people here care about me!" Last week he was saying, get me out of here, I don't want to be here, I shouldn't be here and so one. Ben was willing to go to another hospital but not stay here.
So, as you can see your prayers are working! God is doing the miraculous in Ben both spiritually and physically!
When we do our quite times together I have asked Ben to start praying! There is nothing like hearing your man pray even with a brain injury! Some things I cannot understand and I choose not to have him speak more clearly....Jesus knows his words so I just let him pray! I captured this photo the other day...



...our God is AWESOME and He hears our every hearts cry! He will fulfill His promises and bring the miraculous in many ways!!

Wait patiently for the Lord.
Be brave and courageos!
Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.
Psalm 27:14

**Note...Ben still has to be in the hospital but we can go to my room whenever he doesn't have therapies or on the downtimes of the weekends!!

wedding, cheerio, and touchdowns....

I had the joy and honor of going to Ben's commander's wedding recently! Yes, Major Nathan Molica has got himself hitched! It was an honor to be invited and also to be able to make it! Ben gave me permission to go and represent the both of us.
Nathan has been an amazing person since the accident happened. I had only met him briefly at a BBQ a few weeks before the accident occured. He has handled many things from day one and has been there along the way for us. Nathan helped us with car insurance stuff while I was still in the hospital, arranged other military families to bring our families meals for about 2 weeks, made sure things with Ben's military stuff was taken care, and so many other things! I think the biggest thing he has done for us is pray and encourage me and Ben. I don't think there has been a phone call or a visit that wasn't ended in some type of encouragement, prayer or scripture that had been on his heart for us. Nathan married a lovely lady! I had the priviledge of meeting her before and of course she got my approval rigth away! Congrats to Major and Mrs. Nathan Molica!


While I was there I got to spend time with one of my good friends that I met while we were in GA. Megan! There were three of us that hit it off when we all met at a bible study at church! Of course Megan was the first to move on because her husband got transfered to KY. When Megan heard we were in the accident she made a 8 hour drive a few days after to make sure that we were ok and being taken care of! She is a true friend!


Tomorrow I say cheerio to a lady that has been a good friend to me while we have been here. Paula and her husband Paul (she laughs about it too!) arrived soon after we did. We met in the kitchen in the Fisher house. Her husband was on a different unit but that didn't keep us from having fun! We have been walking buddies, eating fanatics (prob should have done more walking), gave me updates on Ben if I was gone, went to the Toby Keith concert with, attended BBQ's with our men and Bingo pals! Paula has been able to meet everyone on my family and Ben's who have come to visit! Ben and I will miss her and Paul!

Congrats to my lil brother Ben who threw 4 touchdown passes in his first varsity, highschool (jr starting QB) game of the season!
http://www.theolympian.com/2010/09/02/1356941/north-thurston-vs-shelton-football.html

It has been a good week for Ben and I and I will post about that this Sunday!

Onward and upward...

Me – nudged Ben in the leg while we were snuggling in his bed last week. B – “stop!” Me – “why do I have to stop?” B – “because.” Me – “if you are going to be a stinker I am going to kick you out of this bed.” B – “you can’t!” Me – “why?” Ben – “because I paid for it!” Me – “oh and how did you pay for a hospital bed?” B – “my taxes!” I was laughing so hard! I couldn’t win of course because that was such an honest, hilarious answer!

Thank you, thank you, thank you for all of you who prayed, fasted, sent encouragement and love on us this past weekend! Thursday was a rough day for me but when Friday and the weekend came my heart was at peace! I know that it was from all of the prayers from you all! One thing the Lord showed me is that I was not to focus on what has not happened in this past year and everything that HAS! When I got to thinking about it there is way more that HAS happened then hasn’t! Thank you Jesus for that!
We have been reading through the Corinthians and I came across these scriptures the other day.
God Offers Comfort to All
“3 All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. 4 He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. (God using us to comfort others in similar situations) When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. 5 For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ. 6 Even when we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your comfort and salvation! For when we ourselves are comforted, we will certainly comfort you. Then you can patiently endure the same things we suffer. 7 We are confident that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in the comfort God gives us. 8 We think you ought to know, dear brothers and sisters,[a] about the trouble we went through (this past year) in the province of Asia. We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it. 9 In fact, we expected to die. (literally we both almost did) But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead. 10 And He did rescue us from mortal danger, and He will rescue us again (and again, and again, and again.) We have placed our confidence in Him, and He will continue to rescue us. 11 And you are helping us by praying for us. Then many people will give thanks because God has graciously answered so many prayers for our safety.”

I love this whole scripture because it has been our last year all wrapped up! It was fun to discover it though because of verse 11! “And you are helping us by praying for us. Then many people will give thanks because God has graciously answered so many prayers for our safety.” You all are helping us by praying and we are all together giving thanks to HIM for all that He has done and is doing. Jesus has answered so many of your prayers! I am so glad that you all can join us in this journey and be apart of this MIRACLE that Jesus is doing in Ben’s life!

Below are some fun photos and videos of what has taken place over the past few days with Ben! From riding a bike and pretty much doing all the pedaling to standing on his very own with no one helping him! Ben continues to work so very hard! Keep those prayers coming because they are doing great and mighty things!






{standing today all on his own! Ben a tad of help with first 2 then the other 3 on his own}


{and Ben does controlled sitting!}