Ben and Katie

charging forward...

2012-02-09T20:30:00.000-08:00

I love the above photo of Ben! This was captured when him and his PT where exchanging funny words while taking a break! I don't even remember what got him smiling but I am glad that I was able to get it! It is still getting closer to his regular smile which means his muscles and face are still healing!

This is a well deserved post so y'all can see a few of the things that Ben is working on in therapy. He has been working so hard and yet it is never enough to him! He will do "anything to get me better" and anything "to get me out of this situation and brain injury." I will say that he gets super frustrated that he just cannot get up and do what he wants to do. He continually says, "if I could just walk" "all I want to do is walk." In his mind he can do it all but his body just wont do it. I cannot even think that I could comprehend what he is thinking or going through. His balance and hips are so off right now that when he wants to and trys so hard to walk it throws him all off. His biggest request is just to "walk on his own with no assistance!"

He has been working on his walking...alot! The last few weeks it has been outside, inside, on the treadmill, with a walker, trialing a cane, with nothing, with support of therapists...any way that we can think of to get him going! It is amazing how hard he works and doesn't want to stop...he just keeps going and giving it his all! The last few days were really nice so they hit the street and did some walking. In the am he went out with his PT and walked both directions from the driveway and back. Later that day in working with OT they went all the way to the mailbox and back! That was the pic I posted a few days ago! GO BEN!

Ben has also been getting in the pool about 2 times a week anywhere from 45-90 min! Of course he loves it! Ben lives for the water! About a year before our accident Ben had the opportunity to go to scuba school in the Florida Keys. This was not one of those schools that are a few weeks long but this was a military one that lasted about 8 weeks and was hard! I remember him calling me with the quietest most tired voice saying, "we have about 5 min to talk before I fall asleep!" He said it was the hardest and mort tiresome school he had ever done! Ben came out of it graduating with his master diver certificate and bleachest blonde hair I had ever seen on him!
Anyways, he had been wanting to use his snorkle and mask again so I found them in the garage to use. It took him a few trys to get the rythemm down again but now he goes underwater and gets his swim on! The first long swim was 9 min underwater and then this last week he went up to 15! It's pretty amazing to watch! He has a long ways to go but since the pool is set at 82 degrees he gets alot of good muscle relaxing in and good stretching of his muscles!

Remember the tree that split in front of our house in the snow/wind/ice storm? Well, Ben and his OT have started to saw some of it and get some good arm use in at the same time! Ben, like his swimming, is in his element! Being outdoors is just an amazing adventure for him and makes him so happy! The first time they started it was about 45 degrees and the second time 60! Darn weather is messing with us!
Of course Diesel had to watch in on all the fun and get some play time! Oh, I failed to mention that he had to go to the vet this last week for a chip and rabies shot and weighs 55 pounds...at 5 months! Oh man, I think he's going to be a big-in!

There is one more amazing thing Ben has started doing! He has only done it three times and the second time went about double the time and the third a few min longer! He got on the treadmill again! I was not able to see him the first time that he went about 6 min but I was able to see him the second time when he went about 12 min! I was running on a treadmill and Ben and his therapist came in and Ben must have told him he wanted to get on the treadmill too! So just four treadmills down from me Ben started walking! I paused mine (got in 5 miles and payed for that later), jumped off and got a few pics and a video! This time last year Ben was on the treadmill all harnessed up and with two people helping him! This time, the treadmill, Ben and his therapist standing behind him! It was amazing!! He went about 12 min this time but yesterday he went 15...walking at a 1.5! He told me today that when he starts walking on his own again that he's "going to be all over this town and show people what I am made of!" Lord, please continue to give him this ability of freedom!

I think this was the first time Ben got on the treadmill in CA...

This was last year in NJ...fast walking but not alot of control of his body...

and this was on Tues...

As you can see Ben has been hard at work! Like I said above, he never, ever gives up and says he is doing it all for me, him and Diesel! This man always puts others first.

A few specific prayer requests as far as Ben's body...

1. head and neck control...ben's had botox, massages, chiropractor and therapies to help. it's kind of coming along but needs alot more healing! where his neck and head goes, so does his body so it throws him all off!

2. walking...ben's biggest desire at this point and almost all he talks about these days. sometimes he just wants to leave places because he feels he cannot participate how he wants to and that his body is holding him back. please pray that the Lord continue to help coordinate his body and that the connections would be made for his ability to walk on his own. I really believe that once Ben is able to get around on his own that he will take off...nothing will hold him back! It will free him up from so many things that now hold him back. He wants it, I want it...we need it!

3. bathroom abilities...he still has a catheter. he hates it. ben's sensory ability is coming back a little in this department but it is something that his brain is still a lil slow on...

4. his tone in his muscles. he does not have contractures and he can move them and build them up muscle wise but they get tight which limits his movements at times and causes tremors.

5. bens mind emotionally...his mentality is amazing but like any other person he gets frustrated, disturbed, annoyed and another one of his big things now is that he wishes that he can do more for me and around the house. although we still make decisions together (as much as he can) he knows that his role of the man of the house has changed for a bit. He wants to lead, he longs to be the man God created him to be, he wants to be involved in things and be there for me. please pray for his heart and that the enemy would have no place in his life!

Thank you all for following our journey so faithfully! We feel your prayers and appreciate them so much! What we are going through is nothing I could have ever imagined that we would do but if people are blessed by it, encouraged and brought closer to Jesus then it makes it a lil more worth it! To God be the glory!

The God who says he will...WILL!!

"Once God has spoken; twice have I heard this: that power belongs to God..." Ps 62:11

"Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength." Neh 8:10

still here...

2012-02-06T21:13:00.000-08:00

...been sick
...been busy
...been exausted
...been poopy (in many ways)
...been active

...yes all of these things and more!
...i am gathering up all the photos and videos that i have taken...there are many!
...we will be back!!!

...a taste of what's to come...

birthday boy...

2012-02-02T07:00:00.000-08:00

Get out your birthday hats,
blow up some balloons
and start singing some
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Yup, today is Ben's 32nd birthday!
He always says, "I am not getting old, just older!"

This man has my heart, he has my love, he has me!
This man is my best friend!
This man is the strongest most determined man I know!
This man desires nothing else but too be who God wants him to be!
This man is my hero!
This man has served his country well!
This man puts others before himself and always sees my needs!
This man is the man that I will always love!
This man will be healed!

I Got the Gift
It’s your birthday, but I’m the lucky lady
who got to be with you for another year.
It’s your birthday, and the older you get,
the more wonderful you become.
It’s your birthday, and I’m privileged to share the years with you.
It’s your birthday, and each year
I find the depth of my love for you growing.
It’s your birthday, and I look forward with joy
to each day we spend together.
It’s your birthday, and I wonder how I got along
for all the birthdays I didn’t know you.
It’s your birthday, and it’s amazing
how easy and enjoyable it is to be with you each day.
It’s your birthday, and no matter what fate has in store for us,
I know it will be a pleasure to spend life with you.
It’s your birthday, but I got the gift--
You in my life for another year.

Karl Fuchs

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABES!

what a week...

2012-01-24T21:34:00.000-08:00

In the last post that I wrote we were without power and I was updating if from my phone! Yes, my fingers were a lil sore after that post but I wanted to get something on to let people know we were ok and although there was crazy weather we were doing good. Well, I don't know if my fingers were sore from writing it or the fact that they were freezing from being out from under the covers!

I had told you we went to my brothers house Thursday so that we could be warm. We pretty much got home and went to bed so that we could be warm. I wrote the blog post, read by head lamp and watched as I could see my own breath in the air! It was coldy cold as Ben would say!

Just trying to stay warm...

Oh and at my brothers house we played some games. We played a new one that I don't remember what its called but it was good for Ben because it made him work on his fine motor skills. Pretty much you had to go around the table and put one of your rocks on the pile...goal is to not knock any down and if you do you have to take the rocks that fall down! It was fun and Ben did really well!

oh and remember how I told you that a branch hit the back of Ben's truck on the way back from my sisters house and that it didn't do any damage?? Well, I was wrong! I saw some damage the next day after all of the snow had fallen off. Praise Jesus it didn't hit closer to us or get Diesel in the back. Yes, we have a dent and some paint work coming...

When my lil brother went to test the roads the day after the big snow and ice storm and our power was out he delivered us some heat...

Just some of the craziness in our yard...

Diesel has been playing so hard in the snow the last few days that he has been sleeeeeeeeping alot...either that or he's going though a growth spurt...

Ben got some love from lil L who is loving people's faces right now...

I came home yesterday to Ben working on his vaccuming skills...first time eva!

Today Ben had a dental appointment. He was to have it last week but the snow kept us from it. We had to go to the dental clinic on post which was new to me but went really well. Ben hasn't been to the dentist since the accident and I don't remember when he was there before although I know he went. Ben did really well and got throught the whole thing just fine. The black glasses and why everyone has to wear them...no idea! Good news is Ben's teeth looked healthy and very lil plaque (no fair) so I guess me and the nurses did a good job caring for his teeth when he couldn't or when it was just with sponges. He does have 3 small cavities but they said that they could have been there pre accident but he just never had them taken care of. Bad news is that he has a part of his back tooth broken off which they thing was probably from the impact of hit but really not going to do anything about it. Other bad news...Ben's jaw is not good and may require jaw surgery, braces or a combo of both. He has always had a small overbite just from how his teeth are but it is huge now and he not only has an overbite but an open bite. When he bites down there is a huge gap. This for sure was not the case before the accident. Muscle weekness, intubation tubing, accident itself and so on has messed it up. He will get his fillings taken care of soon and then we will be referred to an ortho doc to see what they say...praying for no surgery but there are alot of positives to it as well. We shall see...

{yes, this is Ben biting down...bad}

Please pray because there are still alot of people here without power! My sister has been out since last Thursday and they are saying a few more days...she's even close to town! There are many others who are still patiently waiting! I can hear the wind howling now and am hoping that no one including us loses our power again!

Hopefully that is the last of our crazy weather and that tomorrow is in the 70's...a girl can hope right?!?!

right again...

2012-01-19T22:18:00.000-08:00

So, I'm writing this from my phone because we're in the middle of an ice storm! We've mad the news big time! This time of the year it's usually the Midwest or east coast that gets all the attention but nope it's us north west folks!

The weather man said there was going to be an ice storm and just like before with the 14 in of snow he was right! Durn it...I would have liked him to be wrong!

We lost our power about 8am and Ben and I ate some breakfast to the morning light. He did some homework reading as I went out and scraped the truck in case we went anywhere. I also shoveled the sidewalk, again, to make sure there was a clear path for Ben. Came inside to a warm Starbucks coffee my brother delivered and then cleaned up the house a bit.

Ben beat me by one point in the game Sorry but I think he cheated...I want to think he did but of course he didn't!

As I looked outside I saw branches down everywhere. The trees were loaded with ice! Beautiful bit you didn't want to be standing anywhere near them! Remember in the last post how I said when we were coming home yesterday and a tree branch hit the back of the truck?? I didnt think that it did any damage until I saw it today...hopefully insurance will cover OT with no deductible!

Later in the afternoon we went to my older brothers house. He pretty much lives the furthest out of town but they had power! We chilled, ate and played games.

We are now home in bed with piles of blankets! Is it normal to see your breath when youre in your bed?? Well Ben must be warm and fine because he's currently talkin in his sleep and he never does this! I have candles lit and will be using a head lamp soon to read a bit as I warm up!

If I could move the candles closer to keepe from seeing my breath I would! We thought about a hotel but they either didn't have power or they were full!

Checked the power company am they said parts of the city were to dangerous to work on so expect to be out of pourer for 3-4 days! If this is the case I might just have to pack our bags and fly to Hawaii!! Seriously! A few positives is that we have hot water, our power bill will be cheaper...ha, I'm a money pincher when it comes to heat, and I can wear comfy clothes and no make-up for many days!!!

I haven't figured out how to post photos from my phone to the blog so I will update those later!

Pray we don't have to wait 3-4 days for power! If that's the case we may turn into icicles and yall will have to come defrost us! I am praying we will wake up in the morning and the house will be warm!!

the weather man...

2012-01-18T20:18:00.000-08:00

We usually get snow a few times a year but only a couple of inches when it comes. We had an early snow I think back in November which was more of a dusting.
So around these places when the weather man says snow I usually say, "uh, ok..." Don't know if I can ever trust the weather man because around here the weather is just always weird and you can never tell what's going to go on especially when it comes to rain and snow! So, yes we have a weather man and yes he is often wrong...but lately he has been right!

Well, they have been predicting snow for a few days! It started coming down on Monday and this is what we woke up to and stayed around for the day...

{four inches or so}

Thank goodness for Ben's trusty, beasty truck...it is amazingly solid and I always feel safe driving it! When you have gone through something that we have you have to have a solid car to drive. The mini is solid but man oh man do I feel super safe in that truck! We will probably never (ever) own a small car again...

Oh and I had some chicken marinading for a day so I had to grill it and the snow was not going to stop me...

Weather man was saying that late last night and into this morning was going to be the worst and that the city we are in was to be the "bulls eye!" oh man! Well, again he was right and we woke up to this...

{14 inches!!}

{he didn't know what to do...just stood there}

HOLY BATMAN SNOW!!

I got out the shovel and made a path on the sidewalk and then swept the snow off the truck and moved it (good ole 4-wheel drive) to the driveway! I wanted this just in case we needed to get out of the house quickly or if anything came up with Ben. One of my sisters called and said her and my other sister were going to have a snow day at their house. So, we had something to do. We were going to ride with my sister but then we decided to drive Ben's truck in case we needed to come back early or any other issues that came up! The roads were full of snow but it was really easy to drive in! Glad that I have had some experience driving and then last year in NJ really helped!
I found it funny because the weather man said, "if you have never driven in the snow, today is not the day to start!" Seriously he should have never said that because it invited all the crazies out!

I only got one photo at my sisters house and it happened to be right when all the kids came in for lunch...

We took Diesel to my sisters house too. They have a dog so I figured instead of him sitting at home he could play with the kids and the dog! He LOVED it! We got home about 4 and he pretty much slept the rest of the afternoon and just took a break to eat!

We left my sisters house and the roads were fine until we hit the freeway! Not only were there crazy drivers (so frightful) but the snow had started to break up and then freeze. It felt as if we were riding on huge rocks of all various sizes...the we would get blasted by the stupid semi drivers!
Once we got back on the roads again and off the freeway it was much better. Then I saw it coming...a massive tree branch was falling down right as we were going under it. I didn't swerve because I knew that would cause us to slip so I just kept driving. I let out a big EEEEEKKKKK! It hit the back of the truck and I was like whoooshhh but then I remembered Diesel was back there! I checked in my rear view mirror and saw that he was close to the back window and that he was ok! Poor guy probably made the snow in the back of the truck yellow!

All in all we have had an eventful last few days! Ben has continued to have therapy all but today so for him it has been good. Ben gets bored easily when we don't do alot so having those therapies are great and just that we could go to my sisters house today to get out of the house is great! We do alot of things outside the house but on days like today I thought that we would not be going anywhere!

It was Ben's and my first snow adventure with walking with a walker in the snow! Ha, quite the show! Ben actually did really well and the snow packing under his feet really helped. He misses it so much! The fact that he cannot walk on his own just frustrates him so much! He will not give up on the ability to walk on his own and I won't either! I pray that when the snow comes next year that Ben will be sledding, snow boarding, driving and doing the things he loves when it comes to the winter months!

the open ocean...

2012-01-14T20:53:00.000-08:00

"In all things it is better to HOPE than to despair..."

I was reading to Ben and myself over lunch the other day out of our Streams in the Desert devotional and came across the below. It wasn't the first part of the devotional that caught my attention but then end...

"A noted scientist, observing that the early sailors believed the coral-building animals instinctively built up the great reefs of the Atoll Islands in order to protect themselves in the inner waterway, has disproved his belief. He has shown these orgainisms can only live and thrive facing the open ocean in the highly oxygenated foam of the combative waves. It is commonly thought that the protected and easy life is the best way to live. Yet the lives of all the noblest and stongest people prove exactly the opposite and that the endurances of hardship is the making of the person. It is the factor that distinguises between merely existing and living a vigerous life. Hardship builds character."

There have been times, actually many, many times, where I have wanted to crawl into the reefs of the ocean and allow the water to just cover me and keep me protected from life and whatever else came our way. It is easy in there. There is protection from rough waters, from people, disappointments, and it would be easier to let the crashing waters pass over us and know that in those areas of reef that things would just be ok. As I read this though I realized that this was not the place where we are to live our lives. Ben and I are to face towards the ocean and grab life by the horns and hold on to the reef...Jesus. No, I am not going to go look for hardships, disappointments, failures and so on but I can at least fight against them when they come our way instead of hide from them.
It states that "the endurances of hardship is the making of a person." No, I don't want hardships, I don't need hardships, I don't want any more...we have enough already! No more hardships please. None of us like them but it seems like they do make a person and it does build character if you decide to deal with them and handle them correctly. You can see in peoples lives those that decide to face their hardships and those who simply give up. I don't want to give up. Ben doesn't want to give up. I pray that through all of this that God will continue to build character in my life, that I learn from all of these hardships that have been placed before me. I pray that I handle them right, that I handle them nobly and in those times that I am the woman of God that He has made me to be. The same goes for Ben too...man that guy is full of so much character, I don't know if he could get an ounce more!
Ok, that was my lesson for the week! May you glean from it too...love me some Streams in the Desert...so real for our lives!

On to some fun photos from our last weekish...

This past Friday one of Ben's therapist had to call sick so Ben and I just chilled in the morning and then we got to cleaning and doing some light therapy. Ben has been talking about "taking some weight off my shoulders" and so I had him start by mopping the floors! He did a really good job! He said next time he wants to try it standing up...we shall see. After mopping came lunch and then we did some stetching and ball work! Yes, we do have to give him a good neck stretch and yes, I am using my feet. Ben has such thick muscles that I have to use alot of my body just to get him a good stretch! Please also excuse the plaid PJ pants (they are Bens) and striped socks...it was a day off! A nap was in order for Ben after it all...

It's basketball season for my lil bro (who is finally playing again after a broken hand) and my two lil nephews...

Playing crib when my aunt and uncle were in town...Ben was the official peg mover...

It called for snow this weeked and tonight we got some and I think there is more to come. I have a love hate relationship with snow...

and we got some sunshine this week which brought with it a beautiful sunset...

i finally cleaned the fridge this week and found some good things to eat...

It has been cold, and so I have been of course drinking coffee of all kinds...

and a short video of Ben having his walker out in front of him and he has to walk to it. His therapist is just guiding him from behind and not doing much! Go God, go God!!

Just wanted to give you a few huge accomplishments from Ben this week too while he was at the gym...
Elliptical...15 min!
Sitting bike...32 min!
drum roll please....he leg pressed 200 pounds! 200!!! Like photo below...

ok and I ran Capital lake 3 times around only stopping to get my ear buds from the truck! That's 4.8 miles outside in 30 degree temps! I felt good after!
Big pats on the back for both Ben and I this week!

and I leave you with this...

upity.up.update...

2012-01-05T21:22:00.000-08:00

{new years eve...together!}

Wowzers, it has been awhile since I have been on here! I have had every intention of posting but with the holidays and all time just got away from me! We have been busy with a capital B!

Ben has been busy! His OT stopped working with Ben at home in the last few weeks due to cold weather and has been taking Ben to the Y! These are no down sessions...they go and work for 3 hours!! He also goes on Friday mornings for 2 hours so his time now is up from 2 hours to 8 a week!

One amazing thing that happened at the gym this week is Ben got on the treadmill! I was at the gym running while they were there and I saw them start off on the row machine, the move to the Nustep and then they were gone! I thought they were in the basketball gym but the were actually on the treadmill at the end of the row. Of course the gym was packed since it was Jan 2 so I didn't even see them at the end of the row. I found out when I was getting ready to leave and Ben was on to weights.
Anywho, Ben has not been on the treadmill since he left NJ and when he was on it he was in a harness and two people were helping him! Ben went for 15 min at a 1.5!! A.maz.ing!! I was so proud of him! Ben still struggles to keep his head up when he is concentrated on his body so please continue to pray for that! He is doing so well but at the same time still stuck and trying to get over these last few physical humps that are holding him back.

Another amazing report is that we have been weaning him off his antidepressant and mood meds. I have been wanting to do this for some time now because I didn't think he needed them but I had to do it under docs care and his doc was deployed for most of the fall months. So, we have been weaning him off for the last month and on Monday he will be completley off two more meds! This makes me happy and very grateful to the Lord!

I have some more photos of my phone to share with you! I think they go back to Christmas! Here goes...and they are in no particular order...

{this makes me happy...he's looking more like ben}

{thank you for all of the christmas cards you sent}

{walking in the pool}

{the kids table on christmas...well 8 of the 15 kids}

{diesel got a special christmas gift}

{refusing to get in but will go 3/4 if i put his food in...notice the chewed edges}

(christmas eve dinner at my aunts}

{my aunts beautiful tree}

{christmas eve candle light service at church}

{more swimming}

{they wanted to box with uncle ben!}

{my man know me all to well and got me perfume for christmas}

{working on sitting tall}

{playing yatzee and ben lost but it was all pounds at the end}

{a man and his dog}

{remember when diesel was this little...}

{well look at him now!}

I think that is the update on phone photos! For New Years Eve we went to my sisters house. We headed over about 630 for some yummy food and fun! I couldn't help but think of last year when Ben was still in the hospital in NJ. I had said goodnight to him and left to go back to my hotel room. I splurged that night and bought some mac and cheese from Whole Foods (how I miss that store) and ate away. I don't think I even made it til midnight and for sure didn't get my midnight kiss...sad, I know!
This year though we were out and about! We danced to Dance 3 with my sister, sil and friend. The kids also joined in. I got some video but I promised I would not share because we had the best dance moves eva and didn't want to put y'all to shame!
Ben took a lil snooze and about 1145 woke up to join in the count down when it started! Best thing, we got our New Years kiss! Awww, it had been 2 years since I got that kiss! Love him!

A few prayer requests...
1. Continued prayer for Ben! His walking, balance, head and neck, his memory and complete healing!

2. My aunt was admitted to the hospital early this week and vented. They tried to take her off yesterday but she couldn't do it. Today they were able to get her to breath on her own with a mask but she has a long ways to go...

3. Ben's sisters FIL passed away this week as well. He lost his life to a short fight against cancer. Please be praying for their whole family!

Blessings!!

therapy video alert...

2011-12-27T21:21:00.000-08:00

{photo out-take...can you spot what's wrong}

I am back after some good Christmas fun! I will post on that later in the week (haha hopefully) but while I was in the mood of downloading photos and videos I had to keep going with it before I got to tired and just couldn't continue!

Since this blog is supposed to be about Ben and his progression/therapies/improvement I thought that I would finally post some updates on what he is doing in his therapy sessions. I don't have any on speech but plenty on his PT and OT. The only ones that I don't have video clips on is his swimming. For some reason my phone only likes to send videos that are about 30 sec and the ones I got are to long. Ben should be going back to the pool on Friday morning so I will hopefully get some then!

As you will see in the videos Ben continues to work so super hard! You can hear him grunting, speaking and just plain old giving his best! Ben never ceases to amaze me with what he does! He is such a hard worker who never gives up! Rock star if you ask me!

Ball work...

Sit-ups...this session he told his therpist that he was going to do 3 sets of 10! He did them all and his therapist had to do them as well!

Punching bag...this is a fairly new workout for Ben. He loves it! It helps him with his standing balance, eye coordination, head control and the use of both arms.

Push-ups...just like the sit-ups Ben said he would do 3 sets of 10 and of course he made his therapist do it too!

Wrestling moves...yesterday this is the first time that Ben's therapist asked him if he remembered any wrestling moves from high school. Ben named a few and then he ended up doing the one below...I don't remember the name! Ha! It took 4 videos but then ending his hilarious! Just pretend your watching wrestling in slow motion!

I hope to get many more photos and videos of more endevors on Ben's part! His main goal is to WALK! He doesn't want to walk with anyone or anything but all by himself. He is SOOOO close but seems to be in a slump. This gets to him and he gets so frustrated with it all. Ben also feels that it holds him back from participating in ALL things and not being able to do the things he loves...he misses it! Please continue to pray for his ability to walk...we both desire it so much! My heart yearns for Ben to have this! I believe he will get there but if it could just be sped up a bit we would be grateful!!

Birtday Giveaway Winner....Jenny B! Please send me your contact info! If I don't get it by this Friday we will have to select a new winner! Thank you!!

merry christmas...

2011-12-25T00:08:00.000-08:00

Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas!

O holy night, the stars are brightly shining;
It is the night of the dear Savior’s birth!
Long lay the world in sin and error pining,
Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope, the weary soul rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.

Fall on your knees, O hear the angel voices!
O night divine, O night when Christ was born!
O night, O holy night, O night divine!

Led by the light of faith serenely beaming,
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand.
So led by light of a star sweetly gleaming,
Here came the wise men from Orient land.
The King of kings lay thus in lowly manger,
In all our trials born to be our friend!

Fall on your knees, O hear the angel voices!
O night divine, O night when Christ was born!
O night, O holy night, O night divine!

Truly He taught us to love one another;
His law is love and His Gospel is peace.
Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother
And in His Name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
Let all within us praise His holy Name!

Fall on your knees, O hear the angel voices!
O night divine, O night when Christ was born!
O night, O holy night, O night divine!

"benz lightyear"...

2011-12-22T20:46:00.000-08:00

I received an e-mail the other day that I just had to share! It was such a great analogy of where Ben's body is right now from a 9 year old! His mind was so creative in the way that Ben's physical body is working and responding now. He also shared where Ben is going to be which I thought was awesome! If you also have kids praying for Ben this is an awesome way to explain at least how his body is doing and what is taking place...

"Hi Katie,
I found your blog through someone else's, but I don't really know where. It was one of those point & click "accidents". (A good one!) Our family has been following along for a while now, and we pray for you and Ben every night.

I have three children - ages 9, 3½, & 2½. In the past few weeks, my two little ones have been asking for more information about Ben, wondering why we pray for you guys. I have shown them pictures on your blog, and they love when y'all make silly faces. :)

With all of the toddlers questions tonight, my oldest said, "Mom - I can show them what is going on with Ben." So my husband and I allowed him to do that, not knowing what was in store...

He went to their room and pulled out two toys - a flimsy, stuffed animal Tigger (from Winnie the Pooh) doll, and Buzz Lightyear. He came back with them both, and started telling his brother and sister that Ben was in an accident. He says, "Ben is like Tigger right now. He tries his best, but his muscles don't let him do the things he used to do in the same way. See guys, he is not so strong right now...just like this Tigger. That is why we are praying."
Then he takes Buzz out and with a big grin, and an animated voice says, "Buzz is strong! We want Ben to get stronger again, like Buzz. We want him to have his tough shell and be a space ranger so he can fly to infinity & beyond."
My middle son then says, "To infinity & beyond, BENZ Lightyear!"

I cried a river seeing the three of them interact, and hearing my son explain

everything through his 9-year old eyes.

I cannot tell you how grateful I was for Ben tonight. As odd as it seems, he really brought all of us a soothing comfort. It is because of him that my children love praying for others.
So from now on, we will pray for our "Benz Lightyear" because I have total faith that Ben will one day be a Buzz again.
We will continue to pray that things get better daily for him.

We will pray that He continues to give you the strength to be the wonderful wife that you are."

We are so blessed and encouraged by all of you who continue to pray for us. It really does mean alot and it is a main reason how Ben and I can get through each day.

Thank you from the bottom of our hearts!

random, randy, randomness...

2011-12-19T20:18:00.000-08:00

It's time to unload my phone pics from the past week and post them all on here from our events and doings! Also at the end of this blog we will announce the winner of the Shabby Apple giveaway!

Ok, so here goes!

We were invited to a Christmas party that involved ugly sweaters and Christmas outfits! Ben didn't go...he doesn't like large crowds to begin with so he opted to sit this one out! Well, earlier in the week I took myself to the Goodwill and came up with this lil number! I chopped it in half, sewed it onto either side and then added the embellishments to change it from horse to reindeer! Guess who brought home a prize too...yours truly!

We have switched from football to basketball with my lil bro...ok he's 6'5"! Unfortunetly he broke his hand last week during a game (and continued to play the whole game without saying anything) and cannot play until the beginning of Jan! :(

Ben got in the pool last Monday (and again today) for the first time in over a YEAR! He just wanted to swim, swim and swim! He was in the pool for over an hour and loved it! I will post more on this and some of this other therapies in another post....

We finally got to meet our friends sweet baby Asher...

My sisters and I took my mom out for pedis and lunch (poor Ben was in therapy) for her birthday...

and almost a year later Ben got another round of Botox to his neck. Sadly there again were no leftovers!

Ben put in 30 sit-ups...3 sets of 10 per his request!

and the same amount of push-ups...

This face is half of what it usually is when he says, "whoopsy, don't know where that came from!"

and Diesel is getting to big for Ben's lap and taking over!

In trying to be healthy between holidays I made these yummy, healthy quiches!

and then had to make these Reeses brownie bites...for a party!

Ben's favorite college team are the Nebraska Cornhuskers adn he was sent this awesome book by the athletic director!

Just for fun...what my hair looks like when I go to bed with it wet...frizz ball...hence no photos of the front!

My lil bro was over last night so I snuck out for a craft night! I made this lovely wreathe made out of book pages! The first row is sheet music and other layer is from a book. I have yet to decide what to put in the center but whatever it is I will switch it out with the seasons! I hung it on my door for now...

We had a lil photo session a few weeks ago. My SIL did awesome and we had fun! The one on the top of the blog was from our time...I will post our Christmas card later but here's a sneak peek!!

And now for the winner of the Shabby Apple dress!!!
My random picker was not working so we went old school and Ben was my random picker! I wrote out all your names (the amount of comments you submitted was the amount of times your name was written down), cut them up, put them in a bowl and then Ben picked one out!!

and the WINNER is....JENNY B!! Please email me your contact information so that I can send it along to Shappy Apple! Congrats!!

One last thing...I posted a few days ago about a local couple here who were soon to have their sweet Anna Joy whom they knew was going to be born with 2 major heart issues. Baby Anna was born December 8 but sadly she passed away this evening at 6:45 in her mama and daddy's arms. My heart is sad for them. If you could say a prayer for them during this difficult time I know they would be blessed! Another friend of mine lost her baby this past week too...they are for sure in our hearts and prayers tonight as lil Anna Joy and baby E got their angel wings way to early but now they are resting in the arms of Jesus!

I will try and get a post out this week about some things Ben has been working on in his therapies. It takes awhile to download the videos and pics so I will see what I can do!! Thank you for being patient with us!

twas the night...

2011-12-14T20:40:00.000-08:00

some of ben's buddies have just returned from the "sand box" and some have left. four soldiers were just killed monday night in a helo crash at ft. lewis...
just about 30 min from our home.
many loved ones are lonely.
many families are broken.
many wives are now single.
many children fatherless.
many hearts yearning...

please continue to pray for all of our soldiers both here and far. pray for their families that are near them and far from them. pray especially for peace during the christmas season...where it is so hard to be alone during this season!

{four fallen but not forgotten}

when ben was having a rough day this past week a friend of mine from a few years back sent me something that reminded him of ben...

I wanted to pass it along to you all as you remember to pray for every man and woman who serves our country...

twas the night...
Twas the night before Christmas, and he lived in a crowd, In a 40 man tent, with warriors so loud. I had come into the tent with presents to give, And to see just who in this rack did live. I looked all about, and a strange sight I did see, No tinsel, no presents, not even a tree. No stockings were hung, j...ust boots close at hand, On the locker hung pictures of far distant lands. He had medals a...nd badges and awards of all kind, And a sobering thought came into my mind. For this place was different, it was so dark and dreary, I had found the home of a Soldier, this I could see clearly. The Soldier lay sleeping, silent and alone, Curled up in his rack, dreaming of home. The face was so gentle, the barracks in such good order, But not how I pictured a United States Soldier. Was this the hero whom I saw on TV? Defending his country so we all could be free? I realized the families that I've seen this night, Owed their lives to these Soldiers who were willing to fight. Soon round the world, the children would play, And grownups would celebrate a new Christmas Day. They all enjoyed freedom each month of the year, Because of the Soldiers, like the one lying here. I couldn't help but wonder how many lay alone, On a cold Christmas Eve, in a land far from home. The very thought brought a tear to my eye, I dropped to my knees and started to cry. The soldier awakened and I heard a rough voice, "Santa, don't cry, for this life is my choice." "Defend my country this day, the peace do I keep." The soldier then rolled over and drifted to sleep, I couldn't control it, I continued to weep. I kept watch for hours so silent, so still, And we both shivered from the night's cold chill. I didn't want to leave on that cold, dark night, This guardian of honor so willing to fight. Then the Soldier rolled over and with a voice soft and pure, Whispered, "Carry on Santa, it's Christmas. All is Secure."

birthday giveaway...

2011-12-12T21:33:00.000-08:00

Ok, so it is time for that birthday giveaway that I posted about last week! The giveaway is sponsered by Shabby Apple! Shabby Apple is an online dress boutique selling women’s dresses, casual dresses, skirts, women’s apparel and a few other fancy finds! They also devote a certain percentage of our net proceeds to charitable causes serving women and children. I have looked at pretty much every item they have and there are several that I could have picked to fill my closet!

The dress I got from Shabby Apple to review {above photo} is called, "Aintree" from the Side Saddle collection! I am in love! The fabric is super soft, length good for my heigth and the pleats and lil opening in the back make the dress! I cannot wait to pair it with some boots and until the sun comes out again a lil cardigan!

So, for the giveaway item! If I could enter I would because I want this one too! It is super cute! It is the "Gondola" dress from the Roamin Holidays collection! So cute, classy and comfortable!

Quick, get your entries in!

To enter this giveway you must:
"like" Shabby Apple on Facebook

For additional entries you can:
~tell us what you would order on your own
~"like" Prayers for Ben
~post a link to this giveaway on Facebook or your own blog!

Giveaway entries must be submitted by December 18, 2011 and the winner will be randomly selected through a online random picker!
Good luck!

keep calm...

2011-12-07T22:45:00.000-08:00

I am sure many of you have seen the quotes and signs that say, "keep calm and carry on." Well, I came across a new one and it has been what I have been hanging on to for the past few days and Ben added himself to it tonight...

I must say that I had a lovely birthday and an amazing time with my family. I can also so that it was very emotional for me thoughout the whole day. I missed Ben that day. He was with me all day but I just missed him. I missed the fact that he couldn't celebrate with me like he wanted to. I missed the fact that he couldn't go shopping for me on his own, even if it was online like in the past (not that I needed the gift) I missed my Ben being able to participate with everyone and just move around and do what he wanted to do. Ben mentioned it throughout the day. He was bummed, I was bummed.

Birthdays and holiday are SO hard. We are so happy to be home but it doesn't take away the pain that is still there, the worry, the realness of our situation, the devestation that we have lived through, the tears...it is SO hard.

Ben and I were sitting on the couch earlier tonight and out of the blue he said, "I don't know how much longer I can do this...I just want to walk on my own with no assistance!" It broke my heart just a lil more then what it already was. I asked him what he was going to do about it and his response was, "just keep going..." We were able to talk about it a bit. I couldn't help but think about the times when I have been in his place many many days/months...just didn't know how much more I could go. I have been able to verbalize it to Ben but not once has Ben said it aloud to me.

It's about trusting and continuing to put one foot in front of the other even if it feels like were trudging through the mud! With the Lord and each other we will get there and through this. It takes me back to the saying, "keep calm and the Lord will fight for you!" There is so much truth in this but sometimes it is hard to believe when we haven't seen what we want done. But am I trusting the miracle or the Miracle Worker? Is my trust in the healing or the Healer? Do I really believe that the Lord will fight for me if I just remain calm in His presence. I do, but I have to do my part and remain calm! That is the hard part and I fight that because I want to be in control. The big "I" gets in the way....darn me. This doesn't mean that I don't stop beind Ben's wife, lover, advocate and caregiver but it does mean that I have to take the back seat to the HEALER and calm my heart and mind. He is in control, not me. Hard yes, but I will keep trying and trusting in the fact that God will fight for Ben and I.

Please pray that Ben be encouraged. He is so frustrated in the fact that he cannot function and most of all not walk. He doesn't want to walk with any kind of assistance...he wants to walk on his own! I have asked him what he wants for Christmas and he says, "I don't want anything, I just want to be healed and be able to walk!" This is his Christmas dream/wish! It isn't a matter of his mind or brain, it is the physical aspect that he is yearning for...he so desperately needs it and wants it. Please continue to pray for him.

I will say that even though Ben doesn't really ever talk about his mind/cognitive issues I have seen great changes! His response time to questions, hellos, jokes, teasing and such is so much faster. Even tonight when a friend came over he kept piping in on our conversation. When I asked him about it while we were talking he said, "what, I was just listening to you guys talk." He has done it minimally before but not to this degree at all. Ususally we have to ask him questions to get him to join in but tonight he was the chatter man! I loved this so much and it warmed my heart! It showed me that there God was, still fighting for us whether we remained calm or not! Thank you Jesus!

On a lighter note...Christmas decor is up...or as much as is going to go up!
Monday Ben's therapies all got switched around so instead of having two therapies that day he didn't have any. He got a break and I got to deep clean!
One room needed it most and that was our dump room, that's what I call it anyways! I think I did a pretty good job...for now!

I also finished up some Christmas deoor and I am done...I think!

{thank you marian for our new ornaments! we love them!}

As you remember to pray for Ben I have another prayer request for all you diligent prayer warriors. There is a family here in our town that is in need of prayer for their unborn baby girl. I don't know that family but alot of my facebook friends do and have posted their blog link and news link on FB. Their lil Anna Joy is to be induced tomorrow and she has been diagnosed with 2 very serious heart defects. They do not know how long or if she will make it. Please be praying for the whole family as they walk through this trying journey. If you would like to catch up on their story you can go to their blog HERE! They just updated their blog with specific prayer requests for their whole family and sweet baby!

oh glorious day...

2011-12-04T07:00:00.000-08:00

yes, it is that time of the year again...my burfday!
have you ever googled who else was born on the same day as you?
well i did and found some interesting people...
1443 - Pope Julius II, patron of Michelangelo, Bramante, Raphael
1584 - John Cotton, Puritan clergyman in Mass Bay colony
1711 - Barbara of Portugal, queen of Spain
1803 - Augustus Zerega diZerega, Martinique, ship owner
1865 - Edith Louisa Cavell, England, nurse
1912 - Pappy Boyington, American pilot
1935 - Fred Rumsey, England, cricket lefty pace bowler
1948 - Roberta Lynn Bondar, Ontario, astronaut
1961 - Frank Reich, NFL quarterback (Carolina Panthers, Green Bay Packers)
1973 - Tyra Banks, model/actress
1984 - Brooke Adams, American model

...the last two names are the only ones that I really recognized on the whole huge list! it was fun to look up though!

i don't want or need anything for my birthday but i do wish and hope for things. i wish and hope for more healing for ben...that at this point is all that i am thinking about. after that there will be more things to come. if i could trade all of my past birthday gifts or wishes in for his healing i would!

i ask that as you read this post that you say a prayer for ben...for complete healing, restoration, functionality, courage, strength. he needs it so bad! ben realizes where he is at and to him he is "stuck" and wants to get out. please on my birthday pray for him!

there is a giveaway coming that i wanted to do today but it is going to have to wait a bit until i can do the review and giveaway on the same day! to give you a sneak peek of what you can expect! it is going to be fun! i am in love with the item we have picked and i will have to let it go into the hands of a blessed winner! if you go over to Shabby Apple and see what they have going on...great finds...pretty items! be looking for a future post on this giveaway...maybe you could win yourself a birthday dress!!

happy birthday to me!

thanksgiving week...

2011-11-29T13:57:00.000-08:00

{happy thanksgiving!}

What a week we had this past week! It was full of food, family and fun times!
I think the best way to share is to break it down day by day!

Tuesday Ben had a full day of therapy (I will be updating on Ben's progress in another post!) He had PT in the morning and then OT in the afternoon! Let's just say that Ben was pooped from all of the hard work and he crashed on the couch for a bit!
Later that evening we were off to the airport to pick up Ben's parents. It had been over a year since Ben had seen his parents so he was quite excited! We got to the airport and then had to wait 25 minutes outside the terminal just to get to the area to pick them up...it was backed up big time! We finally got to them, got home and then chilled a bit before we went to bed!

Wednesday we got up and I got Ben ready for therapy! Yes, he still had it despite the fact that it was close to Thanksgiving. While Ben worked and his parents observed I snuck out to get in a run! I knew it would be a few days before I got back to the gym and alot of food later so I needed this! I got back and Ben got a power nap in. We then went to Michaels because the boys wanted to get a model to work on. Then we were off to the grocery store to get a few last minute items for the evening and Tday! In the late afternoon we went to my bros down the road to make some pizza! They were some darn good pizza...all made from scratch!

Thursday, Thanksgiving Day!! I wanted to do a Thanksgiving post but I just didn't get to it! This year we are home and got to be with family! The past 3 years we were not home and around family. The first year we were in GA and the last two were spent in the hospital. We didn't get to have any family any of those years so that was hard. It was so good to go over to my parents and be with them. We had a lazy morning and it started out by watchthing the Macy's parade. Of course the men got bored with it and it got switched to football and movies. We headed over to my parents next...and boy was I ready to eat! Ben was too! Not all of my family was there as this was the year for them to be with the in-laws. My lil bro was there and one of my sisters because her husband had to work. Still a blast though!
Again, I have not had a home cooked Thanksgiving in years so I was ready to dig in! I had one plate and then I stopped...it was a full plate though! :) Ben had his first jab at brussell sprouts and he didn't like them at all!

{my lil bro and sis...}

{being goofy}

{getting grumpy cuz we're hungry}

{got caught sneaking some dressing}

{dinner!!}

{my plate}

{ben's plate...more green stuff}

{yup, i don't think ben liked them!}

We spent the rest of the day and early evening at mom and dads. We played games, watched movies, watched football, ate some pie and even tried to nap! I had a small piece of pumpkin pie and dutch apple carmel and didn't finish them so I set them aside to eat later...never finished them because I was still so full! It was a good day and it was so good to be home!

Friday we were up and at em! Ben didn't have therapy today but we had a full day! One of Ben's buddies was in town and so we met up with him and his lady for breakfast. Ryan has not seen Ben since we had moved to GA and they finally got the chance to reunite! Ben and Ryan spent alot of time together climbing Mt. Rainier, the Olympics, boating, shooting, quading, being deployed together, getting in trouble together and just being good buddies! I wish I had busted out my video on my phone because the way that Ben reacted to seeing Ryan was priceless! There were smiles, clear speech and a look of happiness on Ben's face that couldn't have been scrubbed off! Ryan's girlfriend was with us too. I have been able to hang out with her a few times when she lived here and she is the one that got me doing some indoor rock climbing, paddle boarding on the bay and just having fun! We hung out at the house for a bit and then took off to get breakfast at a place the boys had been to alot! After breakfast Ben took a snooze and then him and his dad started working on the model that they got. Later that evening we went out to dinner. We ended the night with watching a movie and just hanging out before heading to bed for some much needed sleep!

{the boys}

{still smiling}

{off in the mini for breakfast}

{ryan wanted to try out the mini!}

{all of us together}

{goofy friends}

{model time.ben and his dad}

{ben's parents and us}

Saturday morning we just a chill morning for all of us. We were going to be taking Ben's parents to the airport so it was low key and just spending time together. Around lunch time we took off for the airport. After we dropped them off we headed home for some lunch, a quick rest and then it was off to get our Christmas tree. We don't normally get one this early but my parents were going so we decided to join them. We took the truck and all piled in...including Diesel! It was a fun adventure for sure. The past two years it was all about fake lil trees in Ben's hospital room that had to have battery operated lights so this year it was back to a real big tree! We found the right one not to long after we got there and so did my parents...it was a miracle to find it that fast! We got back and it was dark so the tree stayed on the porch until the next morning. My lil bro stayed the night so in the morning we drug out the boxes (they sat there for almost the whole day because I didn't want to deal with them!) and lil Ben helped me put the tree up. I had purchased our first ever Christmas frame the other day so I printed out our Thanksgiving photo and stuck it in there!

Monday, yesterday, we were back to the regular schedule of things. I was able to sneek away for a bit to get some things done for some happenings coming this week! We have some fun stuff going on Thursday afternoon and lets just say I hope that Diesel cooperates with us! Today again back to schedule and I hit the gym...oh my lanta was that hard after about 5 days off! It was good though!

We had/have alot to be greatful for this year! The list would go on and on. All I know is that God has blessed us and He continues to do so. I know we are not where we want to be in life and there is nothing we can do to get us out, except move forward, we are here and we will continue to live life to the fullest that it can be right now! Happy Late Thanksgiving y'all!

crazy busy...

2011-11-27T15:09:00.000-08:00

I cannot believe that it has been over a week and a half since posting...ok, I can! We have been super busy! I have many photos and videos to share but that will have to wait until after we take naps on this rainy, windy, nasty weather Sunday!

This is how crazy it has been around here...

seasons...

2011-11-16T21:13:00.000-08:00

“To be interested in the changing seasons is a happier state of mind than to be hopelessly in love with spring.” G. Santavana

“If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant: if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.”
A. Bradstreet

“And you would accept the seasons of your heart just as you have always accepted that seasons pass over your fields and you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.” K. Gibran

Seasons, we all go through them whether we like them or not. We cannot stop the seasons of fall, winter, spring and summer...that is how our world was created. We also cannot control the seasons that are put in our lives in the physical, spiritual and emotional. We sometimes don't even see them coming! I know that you all know that Ben and I definetly could not see the accident coming in our lives...who would! Who wakes up and says in their mind, "oh I think today is a great day to get in a massive car accident that will change our lives forever and bring us a new season in life!" Ummm, nope never did that! There were of course times when I would speak out my dreams or desires like, "I think we should start trying for a baby" "maybe we should start looking for a house" "how about moving here or going for this job"...these things we can all think about and start to initiate them but we cannot control them. Seasons come and seasons go. Those of you who have been following this blog know what season we are living in the physical relm of things...

I am in a season of trying to get closer to God. I have never given up on Jesus, stopped loving Him or lost hope in who He is to me and to Ben! We still believe, hope, trust, rely and are near Him but for me it has been a struggle to be near Him. What I mean by that is to spend time with Him, worship, pray...

I don't want to be here but I am. Sometimes I think that by taking care of Ben and loving him is how I love God and spend time with Him. God does command us to love God and love people. He commands us to love your neighbor as yourself. He also calls us to love our spouses and respect them. So, I am following Gods commands and His calling right?! Yes I am and I will say that I am doing a good job at it...yes I will admit that and it is hard to do! This is what God has called me to do at this time but that doesn't take away the fact that God has called me to love Him, more then I love Ben and He wants my time too, outside of Ben. I can love God though my man but He wants me...all of me...more then Ben has of me!

God has also called me to love Him with all of my heart, soul and mind! He wants time with me. He wants me in his Word, praying, worshipping and being near to Him. Easy to think about doing but not something that I always sit down and just do! I struggle every day with this. I think about it and sometimes that is where it stops. Yes, sometimes I start singing a worship song, say a quick prayer and so on but that is where again it stops. I am trying to devote my time to Him. Not that it has to be a set time but I yearn to have some time just with my Jesus. Sometimes it works for people to have a designated time, others are random...with our schedule I have to have random times. Like this afternoon when I was helping Ben shower...I just busted out in some worship songs and Ben joined in. Simple yes, I was in the midst of soap suds, razor and shampoo...but it felt so good!

So yes, me being raw and personal...I struggle too. I am strong because God has given me that strength. I am hopeful because God has given me that too...but I am human and sometimes am not strong or hopeful, I have ran out or just choose not to be. In the midst of it I still know who my God is and always go back to Him.
So this season in my life is a tad cloudy, maybe a lil drizzle coming down, slight breeze and a peek of sun that lets me know that a new season is coming!
As I abide in Him, He abides in me!

Am I going to beat myself up over this...of course not. Will I do something about it and make it more of a priority...of course! I want to be open to more of what God has for me. I want my heart to be soft and pliable. I want God to overtake my life!

This is what I strive for...
"O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully concious of my need for further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, so that I many know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy an new work of love within me. Say to my soul, "Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away." Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long!" Tozer

"A person who is obsessed with Jesus is more concerned with his or her character than comfort. Obsessed people know that true joy doesn't depend on circumstances or enviornment; it is a gift that must be chosen and cultivated, a gift that ultimately comes from God!" James 1:2-4

Hopefully this came out right...it's what has been in my heart and head these past few weeks. May you reap from the season that you are in and get ready for the next!

phone pics...

2011-11-14T21:00:00.000-08:00

"Oh give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; for His lovingkindness is everlasting" Ps 107:1

"Yet I am confident I will see the LORD's goodness while I am here in the land of the living." Ps 27:3

We had alot of photos on my phone from this past week so I thought that I would share them with you! It has been a bit since I have busted out my nice camera because the weather has been nasty and I don't want to ruin it!

Here goes...

{i finished painting the door and window}

{ben didn't have therapy one day so we walked a few loops around the house and stopped for a photo}

{veterans day morning at black bear diner}

{veterans day afternoon...cleaning cars and resting}

{saturday football game and volleyball game with my lil bro}

{sunday was such horrid weather that i sewed and we watched movies...and i sewed}

...ok i went a lil crazy with the baby shoes but i had some scrap fabric to use and found so many cute patterns! i have alot of friends who just had babies or are about to have so i thought i would try them out! they need to be refined and some bedazzled but the first ones weren't to bad! The baby quilt I started about 2 years ago in Ben's room in Atlanta. It was in storage after that and then I finally busted it out and finished it!

{since i sat around the day before and Ben was getting therapies i went running...}

and the best one yet...

{look at my man standing on his own for a photo...more walking around the house}

veteran's day...

2011-11-10T20:43:00.001-08:00

Veteran's Day is a very important day for Ben and I. It is a day where we get to remember even more those who have paid the ultimate sacrifice by giving their lives to serve us and their country and to those who are still serving! We have the amazing priviledge to honor them and give them our thanks for all they do and are doing.

I want to honor Ben first and for most. I am a lil biased! Ben has gone beyond the call of duty and has put in his full effort to everything he has done or asked to do and that goes to this day as well. He has been honored, awarded and in all of that remained humble! Ben continues to live that same life today and continues to fulfill the line in the Ranger Creed that he will "never surrendur!" I am so proud of him, always will be!

Ben has lost alot of buddies, wives have lost husbands, husbands have lost wives, kids have lost parents, parents have lost children...to much loss and some too soon but they are honored and will continue to be.

Please join us in continuing to honor every man and woman that has and still is serving us! They need it and don't need to be forgotten!

I wanted to list a few companies that are offering free things or specials in honor of Veterans Day...

Applebee’s - free meal, Friday, Nov. 11. Last year, Applebee’s served 1,024,000 million free meals to military veterans and active service members. Applebee’s is again offering a free meal to military veterans and active-duty service members on Veteran’s Day, Friday, Nov. 11, 2011. There

Krispy Kreme ‘s Free Doughnut. Available only at participating Krispy Kreme stores. Offer available to all active-duty, retirees & veterans on Friday Nov 11th.

Famous Dave’s: Free Meal on TUESDAY, Nov. 8, 2011. They remain a strong supporter of military service and will provide a free meal to all personnel providing proof of service. Contact your local Famous Dave’s to confirm their participation. Go to www.famousdaves.com for more information.

Outback Steakhouses A week of Free Bloomin’ Onion and Cokes , Monday Nov. 7 to Friday, Nov. 11. Outback Steakhouse is honoring America’s military veterans by offering active duty military and veterans a free Bloomin’ Onion and a Coca-Cola product during the week leading up to Veteran’s Day.

Subway ‘s Free Six Inch Sub. Select Subway locations offer a FREE six inch sub to military veterans on Veteran’s Day. However, Subway restaurants are franchises, so this offer may not be available everywhere. **Please call ahead.

Chili’s - free meal, Friday, Nov. 11. Chili’s is offering all military veterans past and present their choice of one of 6 meals.

Golden Corral ‘s Free meal, Monday Nov. 14: The 10th annual Golden Corral Military Appreciation dinner will be held on Monday, Nov 14, 2011 from 5 pm to 9 pm in all Golden Corral Restaurants nationwide. The free thank you dinner is available to any person who has ever served in the United
States Military.

McCormick & Schmick’s Seafood Restaurants ‘s free lunch or dinner, Sunday Nov 13, 2011: McCormick & Schmick’s is celebrating their 13th annual Veteran’s Appreciation Event on Sunday, Nov 13th. Veterans will be able to choose a complimentary lunch or dinner entrée.

Home Depot and Lowes Military - Updates:
Home Depot and Lowes offer a 10% Military Discount Every day for all active duty personnel, reservists, national guard, retired military, and their families.

Big Gunz Clothing – Customers will receive 10% off their purchase and also Big Gunz will donate 10% to the Wounded Warrior Project. This sale starts Nov 10 and will go through Nov 14th.

***on the food offerings please check with your local spot as not all places are offering these items***

hard work and junk salvation...

2011-11-07T20:39:00.000-08:00

We had a very busy weekend but a super fun weekend! I guess it really started when we again went to my lil brothers football game. Yes, I post on here all the time about going but we love it! Ben played football and I grew up to my dad coaching and brothers playing so it is in our blood! Not to mention since he won his first playoff game 41-0 that we are going to the state playoffs! His game will be here next Sat so we of course will be going. Ben and I went to REI this past Friday too and when were there we picked up one of those bleacher seats to see it it would work for Ben. Our bleachers stink...flat metal benches. Anyways, Ben lasted for about 20 min before it got uncomfortable and wiggly. My niece took the photo below before he got back into his wheelchair which has an great comfy cusion!

{handsome man}

Saturday I was invited by my friend Kim, who started following our blog just a few months after the accident, to go to "Junk Salvation" presented by the Funky Junk Sisters! Kim has gone the past few years and she got me in on the event! All I can say is that I was in heaven! I loved it! It wasn't like a bazzar or craft fair but more just updated shappy chic, vintage, retro, cool stuff! I am for sure going to have to go back when they do it again in May! I picked up a few things that I am going to have to invest some TLC to! Some things to do in this wretched cold weather!

{kim and i}

{so appropriate for ben's night stand}

{old letter from a sign}

{scored a $30 door}

{it sits here until i paint it and hang a christmas wreath in it}

Sunday we went to church and it was good. We were late...uhhggg...but I have a good excuse! There was a race going on and they of course ran through a round-a-bout which stopped all traffic and the cops would only let one car through at a time...me no likey! We got there and it was a good service. Ben of course sang loud again and it warms my heart!
We came home and rested for a bit and then took off for a baby shower! It was so fun because it was couples and I got to see alot of people I had not seen in awhile. Ben did as well and it was so good for him! We had a delicious dinner followed by gifts and tasty treats. At one point while opening gifts I leaned over to Ben and asked if he was ok and his whispered response was, "this is boring!" Ha, he said baby showers are for girls! I later told my friend and she laughed too...she tried to get her husband to help open presents but he wasn't really having it either! Let's just say Ben will prob want to escape the house if we ever have a baby shower (excuse me...when) but I might be able to lure him back for some good food!

Today was to be a full day but ended up being a chill day for the afternoon. We got up and I don't know what hit me but I was in cleaning mode! I swept, mopped, cleaned and a bunch more things! Ben had speech this am and then we got a call saying his OT was going to be canceled because his OT had a kidney stone removed on Sunday that he wasn't expecting. We ended up chilling and I did a bit more cleaning. At one point Ben and Diesel were passed out on the couch and I wish that I could have done the same thing!

I wanted to show you a few videos of one of Ben's last PT sessions. He has been working with a ne PT for about a month now and has really been working with Ben on his balance adn core strength. She started integrating an exercise ball and doing alot of new things. There was a point in Ben's therapies, not to long after the accident, that they were doing ball work with him but when they did it he was leaning against it with someone behind him, one in front and one on the side. Now he is sitting on the ball and balancing with one person! She also has been doing some things with it on Ben's back. His core is pretty much the weakest part of his body and as it gets stonger he can do alot more things! The things she is having him do used to be so super easy for him and his abs had no problem being strong...I can attest to that! Ben does stuff in small counts these days and in the video you might here him grunting because he is working SO hard!

I had a few other videos of Ben's walking with the railing outside but for some reason they wouldn't send from my phone! I did snap this photo as he was doing some shoulder stretching with the door frame and he looked so good! I am not talking about his balancing or his position but just his face and the way he looks! Kindof very close to who he was...i LOVE it! I thank the Lord always that Ben still has his handsome appearance and that the Lord saved him from having scars and any other facial issues! His muscles are weak in parts of his face which affects things but for the most part he still has his amazingly handsome face!

and I will end on this note...our snuggles tonight! Have I mentioned that I LOVE this man...

first product review...

2011-11-03T16:09:00.001-07:00

I was sent a lovely pair of sandals in the mail for me to wear and review! This is the first product review I have ever done and it was fun to get the package in the mail and do my own lil test!

I like these shoes! I had them sitting by my front door for a few days and everyone who has come through has mentioned how cute they are! I would probably pair them with some jeans so the bling pops out from underneath or with a cute sundress! They are comfy and fit really well to the foot! fibi & clo have some other lovely pairs to choose from as well!

fibi & clo is an exclusive direct sales company that offers sandals and accessories. They are based in Texas but they design the shoes in New York City. They sell the sandals for $45 at at-home parties and online only. fibi & clo has turned down offers by department stores and high end boutiques to carry their sandals. They have agreed to partner with AAFES because they respect the armed forces, also they have agreed to offer the sandals at a discounted price of $34.99. They are only offered online to members of the armed forces and their immediate family, and AAFES offers free shipping! The latest style to be featured online is the Turquoise Sun. You can
check out the shoes on their website: fibi & clo

No promotion code is needed for their shoes so head over to AAFES.COM and start looking at their cute products!

*No compensation was received for the writing of this post, and this post reflects my own personal opinions.

anniversary days...

2011-10-30T16:16:00.000-07:00

"Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Love never fails...but love will last forever" I Cor 13:4-8...

Thank you for all of your sweet anniversary comments on here, text messages, phone calls and facebook comments! It made our day even more special and we are truly blessed by y'all!

People asked me if Ben and I were going to go out and celebrate our anniversary by going to a show, out to dinner or what have you. We really didn't plan anything but it ended up being an eventful last few days! I didn't really want to plan anything because I was just so happy that we were together at home! Not in a hospital like the last two years but at home and lovin it! We were just fine with this!

Wednesday Ben had his massage scheduled for the afternoon and I decided that I would schedule one in as well. I hadn't had one in a few months so it was about time! There are not two massage therapists so we just went singly. I asked Ben who he wanted to go first and he said, "you, because you need it more!" I was fine with this. We brought his ipad so he could play games while I got mine. Oh my goodness...I was in pain! I knew going into it that it was going to be uncomfortable because they are not swedish massages yet deep tissue...in which I needed. Lets just say that she hit some very tight spots!
Ben was up next and she got him just as good as me! At one point the therapist and I were talking and Ben let us know that we were "cackling to much" and could we please just let him enjoy his massage like I got to enjoy mine...well la ti da! I was laughing...quitely of course!

Right after our massages we were going to meet up with some friends that we met at the VA in Cali because they were in town! I had told Ben earlier in the day that we were going to meet up with them and a few times that day he kept saying, "I wonder how Cale is doing?" Ben doesn't really remember alot of Cali but he remembers Cale and the few times we have seen them and been in contact with them since coming home! We looked drab and relaxed (or sore) after our massage but they accepted us! We went to the Rock pizza and that place is so good! Their brown sugar bread is to die for and yes Ben and I ate alot!

Thursday, actual anniversary, Ben had speech therapy in the morning and I hit the treadmill which was much needed! His physical therapist ended up canceling that afternoon so we did some work on reading, playing with Diesel and just hanging out. That evening my lil brother had his last football game which happened to be senior night and homecoming. They won, well better yet they laid the smack down! I think the score was 52-6! It was a good game and they are 2nd in their league so they are off to the play-offs this coming Friday! Ben is in his element when he is at these games! He loves it and is updating me on all the things that are going on!

Ben and I surprised each other with some gifts. You know that day my lil bro took him to lunch, well it was through a drive through and then to the mall to pick something out! Ben told my brother every thing he wanted to get and did the picking! It was so fun to hear all about it when he gave it to me! I have to say he upped me on the gifts this year...stinker! In the oast we haven't done anything big so I wasn't really expecting much which was fine because we were together! Well, he ended getting me a Coach purse, some lip gloss and another lil something! It was fun and it was perfect!
I made him a poster candy board letter! It was fun to make it for him! He got socks too because he needed them! Whenever he puts them on now though because he will know even more how much I love him!
Another thing that Ben surpised me with that actually came in the mail Wednesday was a card that he designed with his ST. He picked out the pics he wanted to use and also the words that he wanted to say! Super sweet and he kept it a secret for over 2 weeks and when it came he told me all about how he had made it!

{yeah i know we look like were 14}

**no time for photo editing tonight or just pure laziness!**

Friday we had the majority of off. We again chilled, spent time doing some therapy on our own and playing more and working with Diesel! Later that afternoon we had a neurology appointment on post. It was ok, I didn't get all of the answers I wanted or things I wanted to hear. Ben did great so that was good.

Saturday it was cleaning day for me! How this house goes to shambles with only me moving around beats me! One hour it is clean and the next, stuff all over! I don't like mess but sometimes it is so hard to keep up with it so this was a catch up morning! There was some football watching and naps in there for Ben! Later that afternoon we went to the nephews last soccer game. They lost but it was one of the best ones both boys had played all season!
Shortly after the game we headed over to our friends house to make grilled pizza and watch a movie. Well we got to watching the Stanford football game and we got hooked on it...so good! When a game goes into triple over time you have to watch to see the results! Ben got to hold sweet baby Z and he loved it!

Today, Sunday, we went to church and it was so good! I told Ben that Pastor B was going to be preaching and he wanted to go to the main service so he could see him! It was a really good service and belted out some songs! We got to see alot of people we haven't seen in some time and Pastor B! He loves Pastor B because before the accident when we were dating and shortly after we were married Ben would chat alot with him because he used to be a Navy Seal. They had alot in common even though their years of service were at completely differnt times! It was so good for him!
Later tonight we went to my sisters house for dinner and Starwars. The boys are going to be starwars people (can you tell i know nothing of starwars) for tomorrow so they have been getting caught up on the movies! It was cute because when we got there they all bolted out in their costumes. Ben was able to name off all the costumes as I stood there saying that looks so cool! Ben ended up falling asleep during the movie and since the last few days had been so busy we headed home to get some rest!

The last few days have been so good. No, they are not what we want them to be but they are good, we are alive, we have each other and we are happy. Thank you Lord for this...there is no one else to thank...He has allowed this and we are going to live our His plan EVEN though I would have it so differntly!
I got this from a lady whose husband was drastically injured overseas I think about 4 years ago. She has been caring for him ever since and he has not uttered a word to her and is not able to do what Ben has been blessed to be able to do. Their story reminds me everyday that we are blessed and have alot to be grateful for. It doesn't take this tragedy away or make my pain any less but it does make me alot more thankful..."OH MY GOSH, I can't believe I forgot...I want to wish you and Ben a very Happy Anniversary! Don't you think that anniversaries mean so much more now that you know that you almost didn't celebrate any more??? I hope you guys had a fabulous day and continue to have a fabulous night. Enjoy all those kisses from your man and dont' forget to give them back ten fold!" She is a huge blessing to me!

Just an update on Diesel...he is growing and as Ben always says, "just being a stinker like me!"

His paws at 9 weeks have doubled in size and I swear he has almost tripled in his whole body size!

"A kiss is a lovely trick, designed by nature, to stop words when speech becomes superfluous." Ingrid Bergmen

"In my wildest dreams, you always play the hero. In my darkest hour of night, you rescue me, you save my life." Bliss and Cerney

four years of lovin...

2011-10-27T08:00:00.000-07:00

Love is just a word until somebody comes along and gives it meaning...

It is October 27th so that means I have been married to an amazing man for 4 years! I cannot believe that it has been four years since we said I DO and that we would love and be with each other forever.

Four years ago the words, "In sickness and in health" were easy words to say and they rolled off the tip of my tongue. Throw sickness and tragedy into the life that I thought was so perfect and those words take on a whole new meaning.
I look at weddings and those words in a whole different way now.

I didn't know that two years shy of just our second wedding anniversary that Ben would be in a coma for 2 months at that point, now know where life was going to take us, if Ben was even going to live, me have a 10 inch scar down the middle of my stomach and a cast and scar on my left arm. Just barely two years of being with my man and suddenly it was all very differnt.

Ben and I cannot change where we are right now. If we had the "miracle brain injury pill" then things would be different. I can wish things were different but I cannot. What we can do is live out our lives to the fullest right here and right now. Things are not perfect, things are not always happy, things are not always grand but life is good. Ben and I have each other and that is all that matters! God saved both of us for a reason. We may not have the marriage that we want right now but we are happily married in the midst of sorrow and tragedy.

I am so grateful that this year Ben and I will not be in a hospital celebrating our anniversary! The first year we were in Atlanta with no words uttered by Ben, the second (our 3rd anniversary) we were in California and Ben was just able to softly say I Love You and this year we are home! We are in our own place and Ben is able to remember our anniversary and says very clearly and loudly every day, I LOVE YOU!
I thank the Lord for those words!

Ben, from the bottom of my heart I LOVE YOU! You belong to me and I to you! We have each other for the rest of our lives. I am honored to be your wife and love you like no other one person could! I want you all back more then you know! You are amazing and from the bottom of my heart I LOVE YOU more then you know!

I’ve been a walking heartache
I’ve made a mess of me
The person that I’ve been lately
Ain’t who I wanna be

But you stay here right beside me
And watch as the storm blows through
And I need you

Cause God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
And for when I think I lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you
Gave me you

There’s more here than what we’re seeing
A divine conspiracy
That you, an angel lovely
Could somehow fall for me
You’ll always be love’s great martyr
And I’ll be the flattered fool
And I need you

God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
And for when I think I lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you

On my own I’m only
Half of what I could be
I can’t do without you
We are stitched together
And what love has tethered
I pray we never undo
{God Gave Me You-Blake Shelton}

fall, john wayne, goldfish...

2011-10-24T20:49:00.000-07:00

{last weeks football game...we won!}

I have got to get my heart rate down! Ben took a fall this afternoon and it was the first time with me out of his sight and not able to catch him! We had just come home from Costco with my mom and I got Ben sitting on the couch and needed to get Diesel outside to go potty. When I was coming through the door I saw Ben finish his fall...and watching him crash to the ground. He saw me, looked up and said, "I needed to go to the bathroom!" He landed on his left bumm cheek and on his left arm. I got him sitting up and leaning back on the wall. He at least knew enough to use his walker! He stood by himself and took a few steps before going down! Oh, I failed to mention that he was within inches of smacking his head on the kitchen counter on his way down! Anyways, I told him not to move, called my brother and tried to calm my heart and my hands that were shaking. I could have helped Ben get up because he is pretty good at it but just in case something was hurt or not working right when he stood I wanted my brother there. Thankfully I caught my brother right before he was leaving the house! We got him up and to the bathroom. I asked Ben if it freaked him out and he said no. I asked him again and said you don't have to be strong in your answer but just tell me the truth. He said that he was not scared when he stood up and took a few steps but it is when he fell that he got scared.
All is well. I checked out his whole body when he walked, was in the shower and when he went to bed. Amazingly he doesn't have a scratch or bruise on him! After Ben was settled on his chair and Diesel was sittin on his lap he was talking to him and telling him how he needs to listen to his master just like he had to listen to his! Ha! I am thanking Jesus that is was not as worse as it could be!

Ok, on to John Wayne! Ever since I met Ben I have been well aware of his love for everything JW! I cannot count on my hands how many JW movies he has either! I like watching them once but over and over because there is nothing else to watch gets a lil dull! Ha, it is fun though, I must admit! Ben also has card board cut out of JW. I don't know how long he has had it but it's never really been on display anywhere.
Ben and his OT were working on some sitting the other day and shooting at the window. When I got home from the gym it was me that turned into the target until I had a bright idea...get the JW and use him for target practice. Since Ben was sitting down JW had to do the same thing! It was pretty fun to watch!

Ben and I watched one of nephews for a little bit yesterday and we had fun. T at one point said, "aunt kk, goldfish please!" Um, couldn't resist and of course he got a lil bowl full. Uncle Ben had to have some too since T was sitting right beside him! I love how my neices and nephs love on Ben. The see past his lack of speaking and ability to move less then others. They pray for him always and are always letting us know this. One prayer I will always remember came from L, "and Jesus, please heal the broken bones in Uncle Ben's head!" So sweet, love them!

Ben went back to the chiropractor this past week for more traction...

My sister and I at her boys soccer game...

I got to go hang with a few of my friends I hadn't seen in a long while...

and Ben got more sleep time in with Diesel...

...hopefully it will not be until next week until I post! Time just slips away from me and by the time I get to it, it's almost been a week! Man of man!

balancing...

2011-10-18T21:08:00.000-07:00

While Ben and I continue to work on balancing our schedule and lives, which can change at any moment, Ben and his therapists have been working on his balance skills. It has been fun to watch and now has turned into a competition between the therapists as to who can get Ben to stand and balance on his own the longest!

A few weeks ago Ben was barely standing over 1 minute. Then it was 1:30 and then moved up to 2:45. Last week we tried something new to see if it would help with his balance and that was using his snow board! Growing up Ben had a paper route and he would save his money to buy lift tickets to go boarding. He always wanted to take me up and teach me but the first winter when we were dating he was deployed, the next he went like one time because of his work schedule and the third we were in GA and got like a half inch of snow (first time in like 10 years) and everyone there freaked out! It was amazing to see that Ben still remembered how to sinch up his boots and strap himself to his board! He needed a bit of help but when he did he was able to tell his PT what to do! He has missed it!

You will see in the videos below that Ben has to work super hard just to get up off the couch. He fell and got back up! Please know that he is totally fine when he falls back and the couch is totally soft so he never gets hurt! The longest he stood on his board was 5:45!!!!! Go Ben go, go GOD go!! So proud of him!

The look of pride that Ben had on his face and the satisfaction of being on his board
was amazing! His face lit up, he tried to stand as straight as he could and when he started throwing some punches Ben was in his element! Although he was not on snow up on the mountain you could tell that just being in those boots and on that board was so good for him!

I have to say that today I got the report from him and his PT (I was working out at the gym...just trying to stay upright after my workout after being out of the gym for a month) that he balanced on his own this morning for 6 min!!! No snow board, no walker, no support...just Ben! Wowzers!! Ben got alot of praise, hugs and kisses!!

We are learing to balance and train Diesel too! He has been quite the amazing pup but there are those things that come with having a puppy! As are as his crate training goes he has an A+ in that department! We put him in at night and he goes all night without a peep! Thank you Diesel! Potty training is coming along. I am trying to get him to go in one place way in the back yard and he is working on it! Ben uses the yard alot of walking so we don't need droppings all over the place! We are starting to give him one word commands and he is slowly but surely getting it. I know it will not come over night but I know it will come!

Please continue to pray for Ben and his balance...and his mobility as a whole. He really needs this! He was getting his shower in today and he said, "I need to beat this brain injury soon because I have alot of things I need to do and accomplish!" He went on to list what they were and they were goals and dreams he had at the time of the accident. His mobility is huge and I really believe that when he gets control over that, that he will just thrive and bust the walls down and make huge gains.
So, please pray for balance, mobility and freedom from the things that hold Ben back!
I am praying that God will breath life into dead cells, weak bones, weak muscles and anything and everything that needs God's breath to heal his body!

We are blessed to have y'all in our lives and continually there to pray, encourage and cheer us on in this journey! We are grateful!

Please remember that family of Dan Dan Wheldon, Indy car driver. He passed away Sunday in a race. We had the privilege of meeting him last August when he came to visit the VA. He has a wife and 2 small boys that he was very proud of!

a family of 3...

2011-10-16T21:45:00.000-07:00

No, we are not pregnant but we did add a new family member this past week! Ben has been asking for a baby and a puppy for many months now. He told me one day, "if we cannot have a baby right now can we at least a puppy?" I had to think about if for some time because it is no easy task adding a puppy into our lives at this time...like I don't enough on my plate!

Well, after some good thinking about it and more begging and asking from Ben we decided to just go ahead and do it...with permission from our land lords of course.

We went about a month ago to go see the pups and Ben had specifics on what he wanted. He wanted a male, black lab and he wanted the "stinker" one. I on the other hand wanted a calm one! The owner had two black males and so the decision was not going to be that hard. We put the first one on his lap and he held it for a bit. Then we switched out for for other one and just a few seconds after putting him on Ben's lap he said, "this is going to be my fido and his name is Diesel!" He has always called all dogs fido so I knew that he was firm on his decision!

This past Wednesday we went to pick him up and oh he had grown! The cutest lil guy you have ever seen! I did a few things inside and then brought the puppy out to Ben! When I put Diesel on Ben's lap he had the biggest smile that nobody could wipe off! I wish I had my camera out...it was that good!

So jump ahead a few days til today...we are still alive and things are going well! The first night Diesel was home we put him in his crate. He cried for about 5 minutes and then was out. He got up at 5am, went potty and then back to his crate until we got up with about 5 more minutes of crying. The second night we put Diesel in his crate he cryed for about 15 min and I went in there and gave him his stuffed alligator and put a blanket on his crate...not another peep until he heard us moving around in the morning! Third night (last night), put him in his crate and not a peep...but up at about 6am to go potty and then back to crate! This I can handle! Ben of course just tells me if the pup is crying and then smirks as I roll out of bed!

Going potty, we are working on it! He has only had one tiny accident inside and that was because I took my eye off him and he was sniffing! If we get him outside about 15 min after he eats he does great! He will not be an indoor dog but for now he is in his crate or just snuggling with us because he is so small. I am trying to get him to go in one specific spot which at this point he is not liking because it is on pine needles under a tree and not the grass!

Weve been taking him to a few places...soccer games, football games and such. He is getting used to riding in the car but still at this point doesn't like it! Poor guy!

I will say that Diesel has been awesome for Ben so far! He cannot do alot of command stuff or run around with him outside yet but he talks ALOT to him, he sits on the floor and plays with him and just snuggles with him! So good to see how he takes care of him and how he talks to him as well!

Anyways, here are a few photos that we have taken of our sweet Diesel...

{introducing diesel to his gator}

{gator war!}

{thats my hair...i woke up to him snacking on it!}

...you would think this is what I would look like after caring for a pup but no, Ben is completely tuckered out!!

october 15...

2011-10-15T09:34:00.000-07:00

"There is no greater tragedy in life than the loss of a child. Unfortunately, because our babies live only within our wombs or they live outside of the womb for a short period of time, an uneducated society often minimizes the importance of their short lives and, in turn, our grief is trivialized.” Clair Baca

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month (President Ronald Reagan proclaimed it) is in October and Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day is on October 15th. We have succeeded in getting State Proclamations established in 47 States to date (October 11, 2001). First of all, just because we may have states that have not signed, does not mean that the Month of October and October 15th will not be recognized in these states. We are hoping to have October 15th observed all over the world, and we truly believe in our hearts that someday it will be.

Since Oct 1988, more than two million babies worldwide were born still. And countless others were lost to a variety of other devasting reasons. Please take a moment this October to think of all those babies who are so very loved and missed every single day.

Today I lit the candle above in honor or all the babies that have been lost but to the ones I know are...

Baby Cale
Baby Andrew
Baby Cohen
Baby Jake
Baby Briar
Baby Westgate
Baby Berg
Baby Morden
Baby Harper
Baby Olivia...

To many babies conceived but gone to soon! Please be praying for their families today as we remember and honor these lil ones lives!

waiting...

2011-10-11T20:04:00.000-07:00

"Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and He will strengthen your heart. Wait, I say, on the Lord." Psalm 27:14

"I waited patiently for the Lord; and He inclined to me and heard my cry." Psalm 40:1

Oh that word, wait! I really don't like it, sometimes I have come to despise it but yet at the same time waiting brings things that I never expected!

Waiting is something that Ben and I have had to do ALOT of. Some days of waiting are better then others but most linger on and on and on. There are often days when I just look up and say, "hello, are you there because I am and we are still waiting for you to come and do a lil more healing...ok maybe alot more healing!" Like I should be telling God that what I am doing when He knows all things!

It is hard to wait when the man that you love with all of your heart says, on a daily basis, "this sucks," "I just want to walk on my own," "I am ready for this brain injury to be over," "I just want to get back to my buddies," I want to give you a baby," "I really want to just stand on my own!"...and the list goes on! I usually say I know, you're doing awesome, you're an amazing man, I am so proud of you...all the things that Ben loves to hear and needs to hear! Waiting doesn't help in answering these heartaches of Ben. He so wants to get better and just wants to get out there and do the things that he loves! He has even told me that it sucks because he cannot love me in the way that he wants and how he used to.

Time goes on, we move forward. We try and stay busy by doing "normal" things. I don't want to not do things just because Ben has limited mobility or because of a brain injury!

A few defininitions of the word wait in the dictionary are:
~to remain inactive or in a state of repose, as until something expected happens
~to be available or in readiness
~to look forward to eagerly

To remain inactive...no thank you! Of course there are times when Ben and I need our rest but we will by no means be inactive and just sit around and wait for him to be 100% healed. I don't believe that is what God has called us to do.
To be available...right now I am available to Ben. This is my calling and mission at this time until Ben takes steps to doing more and more on his own. Even though I know and he has said that it is hard for him to let me care for his almost every need and he understands that it has taken a tole on me...I am being available and ready to him. Today when we were driving I told him I was a bit shaky because I didn't eat breakfast. He said, "you had better eat something because if something happens to you I am skrewed!" I really don't want this to be for the rest of his life but in our waiting I will care for his needs.
To look forward eagerly...I do look forward eagerly in my waiting for what God has for us. He has things for us today, tomorrow, next month, next year. In the waiting process I cannot help but look forward to Ben's complete healing. I know God is doing things in Him right now and for that I am grateful but I still get excited about the healing that is to come! We just don't know when it is...darn it...must wait!

"Wait for the Lord; Be strong, and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord." Ps 27:14

"One of the important exhortations of the Bible is the call to “wait on the Lord.” Even though God promises special blessing for waiting, waiting is one of the most difficult exhortations of Scripture. Why is it so hard? Because, as a part of fallen humanity, we are so prone to take matters into our own hands, to follow our own schemes. Yet, over and over again we are told in Scripture “wait on the Lord.”
We don’t like to wait and when we think of waiting we are apt to respond with the pun, “Wait? That’s what made the bridge collapse!” Of course, that’s weight, not wait. But then these two words, weight and wait are not always unrelated because one of our needs in waiting on the Lord is the need to cast the weighty burdens of life on Him.
The ability to wait on the Lord stems from being confident and focused on who God is and in what God is doing. It means confidence in God’s person: confidence in His wisdom, love, timing, understanding of our situation and that of the world. It means knowing and trusting in God’s principles, promises, purposes, and power." J.Keathley

There are things that I can take into my own hands and do things but healing Ben completely is not one of them! Oh sometimes I wish that there was a pill for brain injuries or a treatment to zap the brain to make it all go back to normal but there is not! I can be here for my man and do the things I know that Ben needs and help get him some treatments but I cannot heal him. That is up to the Lord. Of course the selfish, expectant side wants to know when and how and ask why not now??!! Why is He making us wait? Why make Ben suffer when he knows what is going on and just wants to be back to who he knows who he is? Why is it dragging on when I know God could heal Ben right now! Why the waiting? It gets very frustating to know there is nothing else I can do for my man. It is human for us to want to fix things and then with my nursing back ground I want to even more!

I will say that in our waiting we have learned alot! Selfishly I am done learning things but spiritually I want more! In life I want more.
Waiting for me involves: expectations, hope, trust, positives, negatives, seeking, action, contentment (hard one), and so many other things. Who knew waiting could entail so much!

The promises from the Lord to those who wait on Him are amazing! He meets our needs according to His promise, He gives us our requests, peace, His faithfulness, His never ending love for us, rest (awwww), safety, satisfaction and the list goes on!
When we were driving up to post this morning for another appointment a song came on that I have heard before but not for quite some time...all about waiting!

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

...this is what Ben and I will continue to do, wait on the Lord! I will thrive to be peaceful, faithful, worship, love and continue to care for the man whom God has given to me!

"Do any of the worthless idols of the nations cause rain to fall? Do the skies themselves send showers? Is it not you, O Lord our God, who does this? So we put our hopes in you because you alone do all this.” Jer. 14:22

"Show me Your ways, O Lord; teach me Your paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me: for You are the God of my salvation; on You do I wait all day." Psalm 25:4-5

i did it...

2011-10-09T20:36:00.000-07:00

This weekend has been busy, with a capital B, but it was all so good!
It started out on Saturday morning with me doing something I have wanted to do for awhile, some sort of sporting competition! It was a 5k run/obstacle course! I was invited to do the Warrior Dash back in June with a friend but the timing was just not right. My sister let me know about this event in town and I went straight to my computer and signed up! I am so glad that I did and had so much fun!
My two sisters also did it and a few of our friends!
We were in the 1030 heat so we didn't have to wake up to early. Ben hung out with the boys as the girls did our thing!
5K equals a little over 3 miles and my goal was to run the whole thing! This was a big goal for me since I hadn't worked out in about a month! I did it though! There were a few times when I would jog slowly or in place as we were letting the rest of our group catch up or go slow with them (we started as a group and wanted to finish that way) but I finished strong! There was no holding back in the obstacles! The obstacles included tunnels, cargo nets, sand, water slides, fire, mud and so many other things! I had no issues getting wet and dirty! I have some bruises in disclosed areas from the water slide and they still hurt but hey battle wounds are great when it comes to these things right? Right?
If you want to check out the course you can go HERE!

We couldn't have asked for better weather! It was high 50's but the sun was warm! After the race Ben and I headed home. I asked Ben what his favorite parts were and he said, "you crossing the finish line!" I asked him what else and he said, "the mud!" Before I even started the race he told me that I couldn't be a puss when it came to the mud so I guess he was impressed when I jumped right in!
By the time we got home I was shivering and hungry! I warmed up, got some food and hit the couch! My body was tired!
Ben had wanted to go to my nephews soccer game about 1.5 hours later and I asked him about 5 times if he was sure because I didn't know if I could move! Of course he said yes! We went and had a fun time!
Later that night we had pizza, just what one should eat after all of that hard work!

Today we went to church and it was a really good service. It was great to watch Ben worship, pray and laugh at the funny points! Warms my heart!
My body wasn't as sore as I thought it was going to be. Thank goodness! We chilled for a bit and then I got in house cleaning mode! Once I get started with that it is hard to stop because I just want to get it done. Ben relaxed and watched a movie. Ahhh, one of these days he will be able to help and I look forward to it!

In the afternoon we took off to my brother's house for his 30th birthday party! It was low key with family (that makes for a big gathering with all of us though) and we had a blast! He didn't have a birthday hat, yet birthday horns!
There were four Bens there, 3 are related and one really good friend that we consider family so I had to get a pic! Later on there was some book reading with my niece! Ben took turns reading the pages with my brother and he did really well!

All in all it was a great weekend filled with fun and adventures! I cannot wait to do another type of competition! I might sneek some more photos in as I get them but the ones above are the ones I have for now!

Here are just a few pics from Ben's last triathlon that he did when we were dating! One day I pray that we can do one together!

randomness...

2011-10-06T14:23:00.000-07:00

Thank you for all of your sweet comments on Ben's message! I am going to read them all to him this weekend! If you didn't have a chance to listen to it, it was in my last post! He worked so hard on it!

Yes, it is that time again for another post of randomness! It is what I do when I have a few pics that don't really have a place but I want to share!

*Fall is here! I love the fall but don't like the fact that our sunshine and heat is going away! I love me some sun! Ben and my tans are fading and that is never a good sign either! We don't have alot of fall decor compared to Christmas so I have started to slowy gather and make a few things. It is far from done but I needed to start somewhere! Love burning my pumpkin candle thats wick crackles like wood but I cannot wait to sink my mouth into some pumpkin goodies!

{the beginnings...}

*Ben had an appointment for a follow-up EEG (monitor for seizure activity) this past week so we headed up on post for this appointment. It was a beautiful day and Mt. Rainier was amazing! I couldn't help but stop and thank God for His creation! Of course while being mezmorized by the mountain a helo decided to just come close and hover! Just another day on post...

*we went to my nephews soccer game...

*Ben went back to the chiropractor this week. We missed a few weeks because we have been super busy with no extra time to schedule anything. He was put in traction again and this time for 9 min. I think that last time was 5! It looks horrid but not as bad as it appears! The last photo is after and on the way home! I really think that it is helping!

*I did something that I don't think I have done in about 8 years...chopped my hair! I had way to much hair, it took forever to dry and I was tired of always wearing it up! I got about 6 inches cut off! I am liking it but still trying to get used to it being short and ways to do it! At least Ben liked it! Not the best pick...

*While I was in bible study the other day Ben had therapy and then my bro came to hang with him since our nurse never showed...uhhhgg! It all worked out and Ben had a better time with my bro! They took my lil bro's tiny car to Burger King and brought back a triple stack bacon burger meal! Holy batman huge! Of course Ben ate the whole thing!

*This past week Ben has been working on his standing balance with PT and OT! He has been doing well and they have been timing him. On Monday he balanced with OT for 1:04which was up from I think 24 sec last week! On Tues, in PT, he balanced for 2:45!!! Huge progress in just one day! Now PT and OT are in a competition to see who can get Ben to stand the longest!! Ben was quite proud of himself!

*Also we started reading the Psalm of the day together except I have Ben read it to me! Today was the first day in the Psalms and so he read Psalm 6! It was an amazing one for him to read today because it included verses that said, "have mercy on me for I am weak; O Lord, heal me for my bones are greatly troubled," "my soul is greatly troubled, but You O Lord-how long," and "the Lord has heard my supplication; the Lord will receive my prayer!" I have to say that I only helped him on a few words! His reading is really good! By doing this it helps him not only to read the words but also to say them slowly, cleary and in a way that people could understand! We plan to keep this up!

*Ben's funny quote...yesterday morning Ben said that I needed to start sleeping on his left side because "that side is weaker and needs more love!"

*Ben's serious quote...we were laying in bed and out of the blue he said that I was beautiful and he was glad that we were not hurt more then what we were. He went on to say, "I am glad that I got hit on my side of the car because I was protecting your!" tears!! What an amazing man God has given to me! Even though Ben has suffered the most from this car accident he still knows how to take care and look after his wife!

*Please be praying for Ben's side of the family. Him mom's brother passed away this past Tuesday in a tragic car accident. He was only 53. Car accidents have never been my friend and they continue not to be! Please pray for peace and comfort for the whole family as they walk through this sudden death.

*Lastly, if you have any questions you have been dying to ask Ben or I we would love to answer them! I will compile the ones we receive and then post the answers! It doesn't have to be related to the accident but can be on anything...as appropriate! :) Please ask away to Ben and I!

a message from ben...

2011-10-03T20:49:00.000-07:00

{opening wedding gifts}

"May my tongue sing of your word, for all your commands are righteous." Ps 119:172

"Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." Prov 16:24

I finally figured out that I put alot of stuff up about Ben's PT. OT and alot of things that we do but not alot of what he does in ST! He really has been getting better in many of his ST exercises. First his speech in general is getting louder, clearer, more defined and he is using alot more words to make longer sentances. He is also doing well in his short term memory!! This is huge for him! Although he has a long ways to go Ben is really doing well!

So, Ben has been working hard at putting something together for you all! Yes, you finally get another video of him speaking! He told his Speech Therapist what he wanted to say, she wrote it down and he practiced it a few times. Like last time he did read it off his papers because it would be alot for him to memorize...although he almost had it down by the time he was done practicing!

Before he did his message he had a few things in ST to work on. I sit from afar usually and from what I remember he has never really done this exercise before. I would have had more but realized that when I was recording I really wasn't because there was no SD card in my camera...duh...remind me again who has the brain injury here??!!

So, here is Ben working on spelling some words forwards and backwards...

Here is Ben's special message to you all! He worked so hard on it and I am so proud of him...

Just in case you couldn't pick up all the words here is what Ben said...
"Hi everybody, this is Ben!
I thank you for your prayers, I am doing great.
I'm working really hard to beat this brain injury.
I am now walking over 25 steps (actually much more but this is what he wanted to say) with help from one person.
I am using my hands for things like washing my boat, writing and playing computer games (on his ipad.)
I am also working on my speech being clear.
Please keep praying for me.
Good-bye and I love you!"

Just to leave you on a fun note I also started recording a bit more after Ben was done recording the above message! Let's just say that Ben was a bit stubborn!!

Did you get the words at the end when I asked him how he got so hot and sexy..."I get my hotness from my mom and my charm from my dad!" Note that I didn't say anything about his charm but he just had to throw that in!

An area where I love seeing Ben is, is actually singing. Ben has not been much of a singer and always sang quitely. He now sings loudly and really quite clearly. When it comes to worshipping at church or watching church online at home and the words come up on the screen...Ben sings them! Usually word for word and on the louder side! It amazes me and really touches my heart that he's singing to our Jesus!

One big area in ST that you can pray for Ben in would be to instigate and keep a conversation going. If asked questions Ben will answer them and usually stop. Please pray that he will instigate conversations when given the opportunity and that the sentances, questions and interest to keep it going would be there!

we be like...

2011-09-28T21:04:00.000-07:00

we...

...practice standing against the wall for balance! sometimes we like it, sometimes we don't...

...go to the fair and Ben requests vintage, old school photos and this pose was his pick and we enjoyed yummy fair food...

...fall and bonk our heads on the deck (he's ok) and two days later the wife hit her head on the corner of the kitchen cabinet...no photo taken...

...take naps...

...make new desserts after we nap and hit our heads...

...watch wheel of fortune almost nightly and husband is almost better then wife...almost...

...do our therapies and wife attempts to get to the gym...

...see buddies that we have not seen in about 8 years and 2 years that happen to be in the area to teach a shooting class...

...take more naps...notice wife is never napping and that husband is so handsome...

...start a new bible study...wife does...

...take pics in the swagger wagon on the way to lil bro's football game...

...love on each other...

...try trecking poles...

...feel bad that wife is behind in responding to e-mails and blogging...

...cannot wait to use this...more to come on this...

...getting ready for fall...

if...Ben edition...

2011-09-25T15:50:00.000-07:00

{yours truly}

If...

•If Katie were to get pregnant...I would take care of the new baby

•If I could have any job in the world…I would be a high ranked soldier in Delta force

•If I had a day to myself...I would REI and watch football

•If I could get married all over again…to Katie, I would!

•If I could live anywhere in the U.S...Washington

•If I were to have more children...I want two, one boy, one girl

•If I could have any talent in the world…be an awesome airplane models maker

•If you met me in real life...people would think I’m hot and strong!

•If I went back to school...I would be smarter

•If money were not an object...I would go to Hawaii, go to the Bahamas, I would take my brain injury away, put money towards charities

•If I could meet one celebrity...Bear Grylls from Man vs Wild, we could go jump together out of airplanes!

•If I could shop at only one store for the rest of my life...REI

•If I could choose an animal/pet...Dog…stay tuned for more on this! 

•If I could go on a trip right now...Honolulu, HI

•If I had to choose between a house cleaner and personal chef...I don’t need one, I have Katie! If I had to choose (Katie is making me) it would be a chef

•If I had the option to get plastic surgery…I wouldn’t because I wouldn’t like what they would do to me!

if...katie edition...

2011-09-24T22:20:00.000-07:00

{yours truly}

If...

•If I were to get pregnant...I would be elated…waiting for the right time is hard though!

•If I could have any job in the world…I would be a flight nurse to babies and kiddos

•If I had a day to myself...uninterrupted sleep would be the first thing followed by a day of being pampered and spending any amount of money I wanted...only if we had it of course!

•If I could get married all over again…I would get married to the same man and love him as much as I do now!

•If I could live anywhere in the U.S...Hawaii all the way!

•If I were to have more children...when we have children they will be miracles because their mommy and daddy are still alive!

•If I could have any talent in the world...I would like to sing

•If you met me in real life...you would find me easy going and very protective of my man!

•If I went back to school...I would go back for my masters in nursing or in paramedics

•If money were not an object...I would use it to create a magic pill to heal brain injuries and give it to as many people affected as I could. With the extra money I would buy a lake house here in WA and a vacation home on a beach!

•If I could meet one celebrity...there are not to many I admire but one that would be fun to meet would be Kelly Rippa

•If I could shop at only one store for the rest of my life...Nordstrom all the way with that “if money were no object” deal!

•If I could choose an animal/pet...it would be a dog and nothing else

•If I could go on a trip right now...I would take my man and we would escape to a private cabana where our every need was met but also allowed a lot of privacy

•If I had to choose between a house cleaner and personal chef...it would for sure be a chef! I love cooking but its easier for me to clean then cook these days. It would have to be healthy cooking though!

•If I had the option to get plastic surgery…I would not get it. The only thing I might get fixed would be my scars from the accident but at the same time those remind me that I am alive and well!

I saw this on one of the blogs I follow so I thought that I would do it for myself and Ben! I am doing mine after he was already in bed so I will be asking him to give his answers tomorrow! Should be interesting as to what he comes up with!!

spectacles...

2011-09-20T20:48:00.000-07:00

Yes, we played with some spectacles and made spectacles of ourselves today! Ben had an eye exam today...can you tell?? Where we were waiting for the doc (waiting room was full) there were two big baskets of old frames. Some had lenses and some did not! Well, we took advantage of them and had a lil fun while we were waiting! Ben and I had a pretty good laugh when all was said and done...

...just in case you were wondering...

~ The first eyeglasses were made in Italy at about 1286, according to a sermon delivered on February 23, 1306 by the Dominican friar Giordano da Pisa.

~ The American scientist Benjamin Franklin, who suffered from both myopia and presbyopia, invented bifocals.

~ The first lenses for correcting astigmatism were constructed by the British astronomer George Airy in 1825.

~ In the early 20th century, Moritz von Rohr at Zeiss, developed the Zeiss Punktal spherical point-focus lenses that dominated the eyeglass lens field for many years.

~ it is now possible to purchase frames made of special memory metal alloys that return to their correct shape after being bent. Other frames have spring-loaded hinges. Either of these designs offers dramatically better ability to withstand the stresses of daily wear and the occasional accident. Modern frames are also often made from strong, light-weight materials such as titanium alloys, which were not available in the earlier times.

the end!

week in review...

2011-09-18T09:51:00.000-07:00

"I thank and praise you, O God of my fathers: You have given me wisdom and power, you have made known to me what we asked of you..." Daniel 2:23

I know I have posted alot of randomness all in one post but that is kind of how it is these days! I need to do what some people do and it's called midweek randoms! It's where they take all their random photos of the week and throw them into a blog post! Let's just say this time it will be a week in review...and try and do it in an orderly fashion! Todays will just be a week in review! I have tried to post a few times but my pics wouldn't load and my computer keeps shutting off at random times. I actually had to type that line twice because right as I was typing it, it shut off!! Uhhggg technology sometimes!

This past week has been BUSY! We had 4 additional doctors appointments this week and all of Ben's normail therapies! Some of those days were days where we had to get up early, which was totally fine with Ben! The appointments went well and Ben was able to answer most of the questions asked and things talked about accurately! He did really well!

Monday was the chiropractor in the morning in which I posted some on last Tuesdays blog and then he had OT in the afternoon. My bro-in-law, who built our ramp in the front of the house, also just put up a railing in the back of the house along the deck! Ben has been working with OT on this rail and has been doing really, really well! They work on alot of side stepping, one hand walking, squats and a few other things. Balance and head control is still huge for Ben but his legs and feet a pretty solid. So, please pray for balance and continued head control!!

Tuesday was up and at em for an appointment in Tacoma. I didn't know where it was or how long it would take to get there so of course we got up earlier and had plenty of time when we got there! The apppointment went well.
After that Ben and I decided that since we were half way there we would go to Ikea! I had been wanting to go for a bit but just hadn't had the time. This was Ben and mine first big adventure on our own besides going to Target or simple stores. We had been wanting a new desk and so I was wondering how I was going to push a cart and Ben. It worked out fine though. We grabbed one of their big bags and Ben was able to hold it on his lap with the smaller items. The staff helped us with the desk and after asking a few times they helped me get it to the car as I helped Ben get to the car! Ben was getting hungry and told me that he wanted to hot dog combo and a cinnamon roll...darn those good smelling things! I got it all, started eating in the car and took off. Right before we hit the freeway Ben asked, "did you get my cinnamon roll?" Oh man, I ordered it and the lady forgot to get it for me and I forgot to ask for it as I was attempting to carry out my wallet, 4 hot dogs, 2 bags of chips and 2 drinks...all with no carriers! Needless to say I had to go to Target the next day so I picked up a Pilsbury pack of rolls and Ben was a happy camper!
Since the Ikea staff got the boxes into the car it was my job to get them out when we got home! I got one in since it wasn't heavy but the other there was no way I was going to be able to lift it. I didn't want it to sit in the swagger wagon so I was drilling my brains to see how I could do it without hurting my back...then I saw Ben's wheelchair! It made a perfect dolly and I didn't have to lift a thing! It now gets more then one use!
We didn't put the desk together until a few days later but here are the photos of Ben helping me! I had him stand against the wall (which I have been having him do more often these days) and help me do some screwing and putting together! Ben did great!

Wednesday, was another morning appointment for Ben. It was an audiology appointment in Tacoma. Again gave ourselves some time and we were early! Thank goodness I brought Ben's ipad because I was not able to sit in on this one. I guess they didn't want any distractions. We called one of my sisters on the way home to see if we could oome by for a visit. We got there and got to playing Sorry with the younger neice and neph! Of course the lil guys didn't really know what they were doing and it was fun to see Ben trying to correct and teach them! We also got a yummy lunch that Ben made a hilarious face about and he read How Do You Hug a Porcipine all the way through with little help!

Thursday we got to sleep to our normal time because Ben would not be having an appointment in the morning but in the afternoon. He did have speech in the morning though. While Ben was in ST I got cleaned up and a few things done around the house!
...side note, as I am typing Ben is teasing me by bringing his hand over and typing lettters I don't want typed! Typical Ben, all done a smirk on his face!
After ST we had a calm lunch and then took off for Tacoma again. I knew today was going to be a longer appointment but I didn't think it was going to be 3 hours! They did x-rays that I thought were never going to end. I think they got an picture of every part of his body at every angle! The most annoying thing about this appointment is that the nurses kept talking to Ben as if he was a child. They also kept callimg him sweetheart and honey...so annoying...and they were years younger then him! I did decide to keep my words and hands to myself. Just because Ben has a brain injury and might be a little slower at answering and is in a wheel chair doesn't mean you have to talk louder, use terms of endearment that don't need to be used and not treat him like a man that he is!
Well, after that 3 hour appointment we hit traffic coming home. We decided that it would be best to pick up some pizza and head home. Two of my lil brothers stopped by and ended up falling asleep on the couch...I guess we have a comfortable house!

Friday was back to a normal day for us. Ben had ST again in the morning and while he was in ST I ran to Michales to get a few fall decorations. I need some more but just wanted to get a few. I have been burning my pumpkin candle a few times since this weeks weather has been debby downer compared to the week before in teh 80-90's! This weekends even was bad but Monday-Wed is to be 70-80's! Weird weather for sure!
Followed by ST was a quick lunch and OT. Ben worked for the first time with some treking poles. They are kind of like ski poles but for hiking. He did ok for his first time and will be getting more practice in the days to come. I forgot to download those photos but will get them posted soon.
THe evening was a chill time for us. My lil bro's football game was in Aberdeen so we opted to stay home. Good choice because he only ended up playing the first half because they were ahead by so much! We won 50-0 and are now 3-0! Go Rams!

Saturday was cleaning and organizing! I have a love hate relationship with this but it needs to be done. Friday while Ben took a nap I actually organized the garage. Pretty much things need to be organized around the boat which takes up 75% of the garage. There are still a few things that need to be done but are to heavy so I will wait for my bros and dad! Anyways, I cleaned and organized closets, rooms, more closets, bathrooms, dusted, vaccumed and organized dressers and such. The three areas left are teh kitchen, family room and our bedroom. Also the yard needs to be tended to and summer stuff stored away. So, things are being crossed off my list!
Later yesterday we went to my lil bro and sis in laws house. They were redoing my neices bedroom for her birthday while she was away. We had dinner with them and then went to Lime Berry...yummy! Ben and I also go our baby fix in and got to hold our newest lil nephew! While we were at Lime Berry my sis in law was asking Ben some questions about growing up, some I knew and some I didn't. Ben did awesome at remembering things and explaining them in full sentences. She asked him who his fav therapist is now and he said his ST. He really has been working hard on his speech and I think Ben is beginning to see that it is getting much better which is awesome!

Today is just a chill day for us. One of these moments I will get up and try to tackle more things on my list. Right now I am thinking of chuncky sweaters, rain boots and coffee! Although I don't like the cold I love fall and winter weather clothing! Of course it doesn't compare to running around in jeans and a tank but there is something about the fall that just tickles my heart! I pray that this fall is so much better for us then the last! I pray for more miracles to transpire in Ben's body and mind! I pray for transformation in our lives and others as well!
We are blessed and I thank God every day for the healing and restoration that He has blessed Ben and I with!

"Give thanks to the LORD, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done." 1 Chron 16:8

"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever."
1 Chron 16:34

vending machine...

2011-09-13T20:44:00.000-07:00

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek His will in all you do,
and He will show you which path to take.
Don't be impressed with your own wisdom.
Instead, fear the LORD and turn away from evil.
Then you will have healing for your body
and strength for your bones." Prov 3:5-8

Sunday morning Ben and I woke up and Ben had wanted to go to the 9am service. Well, he surprised me by sleeping in until 8:15 and so we would only have 45 minutes to get ready...that was not going to happen! We decided that we would go to the 0945 service instead so we just laid in bed and relaxed.
Ben and I started talking a bit. He is getting better at bringing things up and instigating conversations to which I love!
There was a pause and then out of nowhere Ben said, "I feel like I'm in a vending machine." I was taken back by this and asked him to please explain why he thought that he was in a vending machine. He went on to explain that he felt like he was waiting to be chosen, waiting to be selected. Ben said that he felt like he has been sitting in a vending machine forever and he has been waiting for God to put some money in and select him to be healed! Ben said, "I want it to be my turn, I want to be healed, I want to be taken out of this situation."
WOW!!! Ben may have a brain injury but he can bring up some pretty wise analogies. I would have never thought of this in a million years. What a wise man he is. We were able to talk about it for a bit and I was able to share with him that he is healing. It is taking time and that stinks but we have to wait it out. I was able to tell him that I felt that God had put the money into the slot and he has already begun to heal Ben, he just hasn't dropped down the hatch yet because God isn't done with Ben yet. It made me think tonight on the verse that was mentioned on Sunday's blog. "The Lord isn't really being slow about his promise, as some people think..." 2 Peter 3:9a His timing may not be our timing and sometimes I just don't like that, but it is what He wants and not what we want. I cannot see the big picture I cannot see the promises fulfilled at this moment. He has selected Ben and He will get him out of that vending machine in His perfect timing. There is not enough money for me to put into the vending machine to get Ben out myself. I along with Ben will have to be patient. We are going to keep living this life that is in front of us!
It was a very sweet time with Ben that morning and I am grateful that we got that time together.

The past few weeks Ben started going to a chiropractor. He is not your norm and not into bone crunching. In Ben's case there has to be alot more sensetivity to his head, neck and body in general. It takes more then just a quick adjustment. We are trying to get Ben there at least one time a week and more if possible. Unfortunately this is not covered by our insurance (you would think it would be with all the military injuries) which means we cover every visit. I don't mind doing this because we are being cared for in every other way. We are blessed!
Anyways, Ben has gone 3 times and each time has been good for Ben. He gets alot of stretching, soft tissue manipulation, tapping on his reflex areas and traction. I am trying not to get my hopes up as to if it is helping or not but I think it has to a degree. I think it is going to take alot more visits but we are on the path to hopefully having this help!

Side note...I was walking around Target today with making a headboard in mind. At first I thought that I would make one and upholster it but that just became to big of a project in my brain. I then thought of wallpaper and since we are renting use velcro to hang it. Finally at Target I landed looking for a shower curtain or something in the color I wanted with alot of texture that I could cover a piece of board with to make the headboard. Well, I found a few decent ones but they were a bit more then I wanted to spend but of course cheaper then what I would have paid to make the original headboard. I am kind of a penny pincher at times. (I do splurge occasionally to keep things fun!)
So with shower curtains or anything textured crossed off my list I was walking down the rug isle. Waaalaaa, a grey rug called out to me and it was on clearance. I looked at the measurements and they were perfect for our spare room bed! I thought I might be crazy for hanging a rug on my wall as a headboard but I thought I would give it a try...plus it was only 9 bucks! 9 bucks folks...the price was right!
I got home and quickly put it up and loved it! I have yet to make it level and flatten it out but I love how it turned out!

super fabulous weekend...

2011-09-11T20:44:00.002-07:00

{lake kisses!}

Our weekend started Friday night at my lil brother Ben's (yes abother one) football game. It is his senior year and so we are there to root him and my dad (he's a coach) on! We have been going to football games since we were kids. My dad has been coaching almost as long as I have been alive so really we grew up on the field! Ben also played in highschool so it is fun going! This is the first year that Ben and I will actually be able to attend the home games together. He was either deployed, we were in GA or he was in the hospital!
The great thing about being coaches kids, even years later, is that staff still know us and Ben could go on the field to watch. There are wheelchair places in the bleachers but they are behind where people walk so it is pointless. My other brothers were there so they took Ben on to the field. I joined them at around the 2nd quarter point! My lil bro is #12!

{my dad and ben}

{brothers}

{getting wisdom from the big bro}

{go ben!}

There were a few mistakes in the game and some lousy/horrid/irritating/bad calling refs but we won and now we are 2-0! Go Rams!

Saturday morning we woke up a lil later then normal...thanks to Ben sleeping in! Finally he is understanding that word, "sleep in!" We hung out for a bit, I cleaned up and then one of my bros came over to get our boat hooked up. We knew it was going to be a beautifully and warm weekend so we had planned to take the boat out all weekend. After the boat was good to go we grabbed some gas and a sandwich and then hit the lake! Another Ben (the one from the Seahawks game) joined us as well so we had 3 Ben's on the boat! Oh my, it got a bit confusing trying to talk at some points. They all have nick names but when you forget to use them it is pretty much useless using the word Ben!

We were out for about 3 hours and just had a ton of fun. The boys tubed and boarded and my Ben soaked in some rays. We had to yell of some wave runners because some of them had no respect for the lake! Annoying, that is what rules are for! It just irritates me when they get to close behind...ok, enough of that! :)
The boat was left at my parents house for the night and we took off to go home and shower before heading over to one of my sister's house. Did I mention I have 6 siblings...why you hear so much about them because we come by the masses! :) Anyways, one of my younger brothers is taking off next Sat for AZ for training and a new job. Besides us moving away my bro will be the next to go! We hung out at my sisters house and had a good time of prayer. Ben said, "I have a word for you" and then went on to share his word with my brother and it was amazing!

Two late nights in a row left Ben sleeping until about 8:15 this morning. He told me this morning that he wanted to go to the 9am church service but when I told him what time it was we both decided that the 0945 was the best for us and we were even a tad late for that one! Whoopsy! It was funny because on the way Ben said, "we are late to church, we cannot be late to our appointment with God!" Ha!
A scripture was mentioned today and I loved the first part of it! "The Lord isn't really being slow about his promise, as some people think..." 2 Peter 3:9a I often wonder why His promises to us are not fulfilled yet and if maybe He has forgotten about Ben and I. In the human life we make promises to people all the time and I'm sure more then 50% of those don't even come to pass. I tend to compare God to humans some time and that is not right of me. It is not a matter of God not fulfilling His promises but it is all about in when God wants to bring those promises and desires to pass. If He promises them, they will come to pass but it is going to be on His time and not ours!

After church we ran home for our stuff, grabbed some food and went back to my parents house for more boat time!
Ben had been wanting to tube on all the other times we went out but we just didn't have enough boys to help out but today we did! Of course Ben's first pick was to wake board to work on his jumps but he said with a snicker that it would have to wait until next summer! Yes, it will Ben! He got on with one of my brothers and we took off! He had a blast and kept wanting to go faster. Since I am very aware of Ben's will to go super fast and his abilities at this time we kept the speed and bumps to a bare minimum! Although he kept saying, "faster, faster, booo this is to slow" I being the responsible one kept it safe! We actually weren't as crazy this year at all because we are all growed up and have responsibilities...me for Ben, my bro as the quarterback, my other brother as a cop and dad, my other brother with a new job, my bros friend for sports and our friend Ben for his new baby. Oh the joys of having to grow up and having responsibilities! Ben had a blast and got quite a bit of loops in! We will see how his arms are tomorrow from hanging on to the tube!

Another brother, my niece, and my lil bro's friend joined in on the fun too...

{yes, these are my crazy lil brothers}

Ben and I headed back home after a full day! We sat on the couch when we got back and just sat! We had pizza and ice cream for dinner and after that Ben was out like a light! I am drifting as I type! I loved being with my man this weekend! More miracles are taking place in that body of his and I am super excited for the days to come. This weekend is what we would normally do on a weekend together and although it was different in the way that we are living life now I am grateful to have Ben with me! He is my one and only! Thank you Lord for saving the man you gave to me...my man!

fun with the seahawks...

2011-09-06T20:32:00.000-07:00

This past Friday we had the priviledge to go to one of the Seahawks pre-season games against the Raiders. Our AW2 (Army Wounded Warrior) advocate was able to get us tickets a few days before the game! It ended up being more fun then I thought it would!
Our friends Ben, Anneka and their lil Zoe were able to come with us which was a ton of fun! Since it was the first day of a holiday weekend we got an early start to Seattle. We stopped for coffee, knowing it was going to be a late night and then finished our journey. We had to be there at 6:00pm and I think we got there at that point!

{waiting at field level to go out on the field}

{out on the field...sorry anneka for the eyes...only option!}

{ben, meet ben}

We met up with a few other families and wounded warriors and then headed out onto the field! Yes, the field! I had known we were going to go out but I thought it was going to be for about 15 min and then back off. We were on the field for over an hour all the way through the national anthem!
We got onto the field and took it all in before moving down to the end zone to watch the players warm up! Many of them came over to slap Ben's knee, give him a high five and thank him for his service! It was so good!

The "Hawk" was brought close to Ben and he loved it. I was watching this things beak because that thing looked frightening! I wanted to cover my face because I thought he was going to go for my eye balls! I was also ready to cover Ben's if he went after his!

We were in for a treat when a man by the name of Dave Krieg came up and introduced himself! Ummm, hello super amazing quarterback for the Seahawks in the 80's early 90's! He met Ben and chatted with him for a bit and then looked around and said to those around him, "I need a hat, get this amazing man a hat" and right there and then he had a hat in his hand for Ben and signed it over to him! We all talked for a bit and we met his wife as well. He left for a bit and then came back to talk to me and asked what happened. I briefly told him and he was shocked! He kept saying over and over how he thanked God that I had stayed with Ben for the past 2 years and how much Ben needed me to be there. He gave me a hug and his blessings. He was a very sweet man to both Ben and I.

Another man we were able to meet and spend a good amount of time with was Mike Flood. He is the Vice President of Community Relations and Special Projects. He is the one who gets the injured military guys to the games. He said by doing this he has seem some amazing things happen in them physically and mentally. He said some soldiers wouldn't even leave their homes but they were able to get them to games to enjoy in their own space! From what I understand the Seahawks are the only NFL team that has paid military liasons to assist in involving the military in their games and events! Mike was a great guy who also got to spend alot of time with us!

Can I just say these ball players are huge! I have been around football pretty much all my life because my dad has been a highschool football coach for as long as I can remember and my brothers have played so I know big. But these boys are HUGE!! They have a lil junk in their trunks at which I found hilarious because I was used to highschool boys! Ben even at one point said when they were bending over, "now that's alot of booty!" Ha, I had to laugh!

{this would be me if I was standing next to him}

Like I said, we were able to stay on the field until after the national anthem. It was so good for Ben to be apart of this! He loved every minute of it. He was not asked to come in uniform but when we got there they said they really wanted him to be apart of it. He took his position proudly!

and then to our seats...
Ben loved watching the game and booed with the rest of them! He ate a foot long hot dow, fries, banana, granola bar and some water! This man was enjoying himself for sure! I heard from his mouth, "good catch" "boooo" "come on ref" "goooo seahawks" "booo" and "I'm tired!"

All in all it was a great night and we had alot of fun, fun, fun!!

labor day...

2011-09-04T18:11:00.000-07:00

Happy Labor Day weekend folks!
Our plans are pretty much nada
and that is ok with us!

bunch more randomness...

2011-09-01T17:50:00.000-07:00

{summer freckels...}

Is it September already!?! Where does the time go? Again this week is going by super fast! If it is not therapies then it is activies to go to which we love!

Suday was a relaxful day but Ben scared the holy, screaming batman out of me! We went to chuch with my sister in the morning and then headed home for some relaxing time before we headed out to my parents. We got to my parents house and I asked Ben to please stay in the car until I cleared a path for him to walk through and have a seat. My parents were digging out their backyard so there was patio furniture and dirt everywhere! Well, like 2 minutes later I went back to get Ben only to find him already out of the van and getting ready to start walking to the front door. My heart might have stopped beating and if it didn't then it was beating so fast that I didn't even feel it! I stopped in my steps, said, "don't move" and ~~ran~~ sprinted to the car! The whole time Ben just had this smirky smile on his face and said that he was fine! Usually if he were attempt to get out Ben would undo his seatbelt and swing his feet to the out side but never, ever get out! Well, I guess he got tired of waiting and wanted to take matters and time into his own hand!
I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Ben's determination but it is so not safe for him right now! He says he is not terrified of falling and that all is well and I just have to remind him that he could not only fall but also could end up in the hospital again with broken bones, another head injury or worse. He gets it but just wants to be SOOOO independent!
We had a good afternoon at my parents. Ben at one point asked when we were going to go home and I asked him why because this was unusual unless he is just pooped. I didn't get an answer for a bit but when he asked again and I again asked him why. He said, "because I cannot join in!" Oh my heart melted! He wanted to join my dad and brother in the yard to do the dirty work and not sit under the umbrella with the girls. I am sad that he felt this way, and who wouldn't, but I am also glad because it went to a deeper level and he was able to really share why he wanted to go home. This processing and him thinking about it is amazing! We ended up staying later and Ben requested to go inside because he was hot...and it was a warm one!

Monday was another full day. Ben had Speech in the morning and I went running! (side note...I have been putting myself on a workout schedule and almost have 50 miles in this week!) Anyways, after a quick lunch we headed up on post. We had to get new ID's and a few other things. After we got back Ben got in a quick rest...more like watching Family Fued, his new favorite show because of Steve Harvey!
After the rest we headed over to my sister's house for one of my nephews birthday parties! We had a fun time and Ben sang Happy Birthday so loud that it surprised me!
My neice also sat with Ben and read him one of her favorite stories...

Tuesday Ben was up and at em, and so was I, to head out to the gym. Ben went his way and me to spin class. We both got whooped but it felt good!
Back for quick rest and lunch and then off to a doc appointment for Ben. Resting for Ben one more time before heading over to my parents house for my dad's lil birthday gathering. My nephew and Dad have the same b-day but of course my neph is to old now to have the same b-day party!

We had a great time...all 15 neices and nephs were there and they sure were entertaining. Especially these two lil men...

Wednesday, Ben and I had a conference call at 9am and then Ben had speech after that. I again headed to the gym and found a lovely lil voice video from Ben when I got done running which he said, "Katie, I miss you. A is being mean to me!" Haha he was saying his ST was being mean. I later found out that those words are not what Ben had told her what he was going to say but switched it at the last minute! I guess he was having a very soft voice and Ben said, "i miss Katie!" Sweet man!
Again another quick lunch outside for Ben while I mowed the lawn and weeded! Ben started OT next and worked on a new railing my BIL built for him to use! He did amazing! Walking, squats, sit to stands and a few other things! Later that afternoon one of our neices and nephs came over while my bro and sil took my lil new neph to a doc appointment! We had alot of fun!

Today...Thursday, Ben hit of the gym for another 2 hours and I 45 min in a spin class again. You may ask why all the gym time for me...it's called destresser and time to just give it all I got! I love it and am so glad that I have been able to get back into these past few weeks!
Back to Ben...yesterday Ben's OT said that he saw some good improvements in Ben while he was gone, his ST said he had good head control yesterday and today at the gym his therapist said that Ben's balance and body control were better! AMAZING...thank you Lord!
Following therapy Ben and I finally got to sit down and do nothing! Lunch was next and then a follow-up phone conference from the VA we were at in Cali! I answered the majority of the questions but then Ben got on the phone and answered about 20-25 and he answered them all appropriatley! The great part was the lady that was asking the questions had met us in Cali last year and Ben was barely talking and she couldn't get any interaction with Ben. This time was totally different even if it was just over the phone! Again, amazing and thank you LORD!
Ben got a break after this and I again started organizing our spare bedroom. It's one of those rooms where everything goes and it needs to be all put back into order several times! Yuck!
Later in the afternoon Ben had another PT session. He did alot of transfer practice, floor work, push-ups off the couch and some sitting exercises!

We have been getting some good pool time in our back yard! These past few days have been kind of nasty and we are missing our sun but we should be getting it back!

So, as you can see we are staying busy around here! It is amazing how time flys by so fast. I kind of like staying busy because that keeps my brain from going to what life should be like, what we should be doing, wanting Ben and I to be working again, having babies, buying a house, the what ifs and so many other things. This brain is full and I don't need to dwell on these things even more. It is a hard balance and I have to admit that I still wrestle with all of these but I am still human. God has given me the ability and strength to keep going and I desperately need that strength from Him in every day!

Prayer requests:

1. Continence for Ben's bladder. The sensory area in his brain is lacking in this area. He can tell me when he is going but not before...most times! I would LOVE to see this controlled!

2. Mobility, mobility, mobility! This is the most frustrating for Ben and not failing to mention taxing on both of our bodies! Please pray specifically for balance and walking on his own! We both desperately want to see this happen! For a long time I have felt that once Ben gets his mobility back he will surge forward! He knows how to do things but he is so limited at this point! Lord, open the doors for mobility and movement to come to Ben!

3. Conintued memory, cognition, processing, concentration and healing to the rest of the brain!

4. A calmness and peace for both Ben and I. Also the stregnth to get through every single day...one step at a time!

"By faith in the name of Jesus, this man whom you see and know was made strong. It is Jesus' name and the faith that comes through Him that has given this complete healing to him, as you can all see."
Acts 3:16

a story to tell...

2011-08-27T21:04:00.000-07:00

{grungy but it was from today!}

"By faith in the name of Jesus, this man whom you see and know was made strong. It is Jesus' name and the faith that comes through Him that has given this complete healing to him, as you can all see."
Acts 3:16

Today we have tried to keep busy because today marked two years since our lives were forever changed! We went to my lil bro and dad's football scrimmage, the grocery store, home for my bro-in-law to put up a rail, swim and then have dinner with Ben and one of my good friends and her lil baby! It has been a LONG two years but what I know is that these past few years have been full of growth and best of all MIRACLES! Not many people can say that they get to see a miracle at work right in front of their eyes every day!
Ben and I will not give up on this fight for healing and restoration! We are both determined to beat this brain injury and get as far as we can! I beleive there are more miracles to come!
Like I said this journey has been a HARD and LONG one. The have been bad times, times of fear, anger, discontentment, emotions, jealousy, disappointments, longevity and so many other things the Ben and I have been through but we are making it and moving forward. We can only trust in Jesus and put one foot in front of the other just to get into the next day!
I am so proud and humbled by my man! Ben is strong and determined to never surrender to this. He works so HARD every single day and it blows me away. Yes, he too has his down times! We are human too! Last night was an emotional night for me just because I knew what today held. I was kissing him goodnight and he was kind of restless. I asked him if he was ok and he said, "yes, but are you ok?" I remember that he used to do this when we went to bed. It was another piece of Ben coming back to me and another reminder that God is still with us and is still working!
Yesterday we were floating around in our pool (we have been having beautiful weather) and we just started taking turns on what we were greatful to the Lord for...the list went on for quite some time! It was pretty amazing as we floated and looked at God's creation that reminded us of His promises!

We want to thank you for following us on our journey! Each comment you write and prayer that is said is so inspiring to us! We have so many followers both officially and those that just read! It amazes me every day! I wish that I could go to each of your blogs, comment and stay up with y'all but it is so hard! My inbox is full of amazing emails as well! Please continue to write us on here or snail mail and send us all those lovely packages...we like them too!! Please continue to PRAY for both Ben and I as we continue on to another year of recovery and miracles! Please continue to follow our journey...

I heard this song the other day and thought of our life as it has been so far. It did start with a kiss, well kind of, and it is not how we dreamt it would be. We want to know how it ends. We continue to have a story to tell. That story to tell is the work that Jesus is doing in our lives! He is the Healer, He is our strength, He is our Hope and He will get us through!

"Happily Ever After"
Let me riddle you a ditty, it’s just an itty bitty, little thing on my mind.
About a boy and a girl, trying to take on the world one kiss at a time.
Now the funny thing about, ain’t a story without it, but the story is mine.
And I wish you could say, that it ended just fine.
We all want to know, how it ends.

Oh, happily ever after, wouldn’t you know, wouldn’t you know.
Oh, skip to the ending, who’d like to know, I’d like to know.
Author of the moment, can you tell me, do I end up, do I end up happy?

Inhale, breathe steady, exhale, like you’re ready, if you’re ready or not.
Just a boy and a girl trying to take on the world, and we want to get caught.
In the middle of a very happy ending, let’s see what we’ve got, let’s give it a shot.
Let’s give it a shot.
We all want to know, how it ends.

Oh, happily ever after, wouldn’t you know, wouldn’t you know.
Oh, skip to the ending, who’d like to know, I’d like to know.
Author of the moment, can you tell me, do I end up, do I end up happy?

We all have a story to tell.
Whether we whisper or yell.
We all have a story, of adolescence and all it’s glory.
We all have a story to tell.

Oh, happily ever after, wouldn’t you know, wouldn’t you know.
Oh, skip to the ending, who’d like to know, I’d like to know.
Author of the moment, can you tell me, do I end up, do I end up happy?

We all have a story to tell.
We all have a story to tell.
We all have a story to tell.
We all have a story to tell.
He is We

Where we were...
August 27, 2009...in Georgia.
August 27, 2010...in California
Today we are home and trying to live the life where we are now!
Again, thank you for your love, support, encouragement and prayers! You all truly are a blessing to Ben and I!

the determination continues...

2011-08-23T20:51:00.000-07:00

"When the world says, "Give up," Hope whispers, "Try it one more time."
~Author Unknown

"Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did." N.Gingrich

I cannot help but rave about Ben. Although his progress may seem slow to both of us it doesn't mean that his courage, determination and strength to get better! He continually asks, like I have mentioned it before, "when am I going to get out of this situation, when am I going to be my old self again and I just want to walk on my own again?!" I don't have the answers for Ben although I wish I could. I too would like to have these answers. But what I do know and tell Ben all the time is that he is amazing, he is strong, he is a man, I love him, I respect him, I am SO proud of him, I see his hard work and so does God. I also tell him not to give up, to keep on going strong! Ben of course says that he will never give up until he is 100% and then some! I am so proud of him!

A few things (videos) I wanted to share with you on just some of the things that Ben has been working on! Before I do that here is a bit of his therapy schedule.
Mondays - Combination of (ST)Speech Therapy (1.5 hours) and (OT)Occupational Therapy (2 hours)
Tuesday - (RS)Rehab Specialist (2 hours at gym in the morning) (PT)Physical Therapy (2 hours in the afternoon)...afternoon may change
Wednesday - Combination of ST (1.5 hours) and OT (2 hours)
Thursday - same as Tuesday
Friday - Combination of ST (1.5 hours) and OT (2hours)

ST and OT come 2 days each and go between M,W,F...
When Ben is not in therapy he is kept busy by me, has massage appointments, we are running errands and getting some rest! Busy, busy, busy!

Tree squats

Transfers

(yes, the landing was a tad rough but this was a good one!)

Push-ups

So, my mom got Ben into playing Sorry when she stayed with him a bit ago. This is a very good game for Ben and so I pulled it out the other day and we played a few. I have to say that I did win two times (no I didn't cheat, I was nice and yes I am competative) but the second game was super close as you can see in the bottom photo!
I text my friend the first photo and she said she was rooting for Ben! When I told him what she said he responded, "good, cuz I'm in a bind!" Hence the second photo! I was thrilled that Ben realized this and that he was able to use new verbage! :)

Seriously I think I am going to buy stock in Nature Valley's Oats and Honey granola bars!! Ben is addicted to them! Every time I ask him if he needs something it is always a granola bar! He liked them pre-accident and the liking continues! I guess I forgot how much he did like them! Ben likes them to the point that if I give it to him with the wrapper he will eat it and then dump all of the crumbs into his mouth...same as if I break it up and put it in a container for neatness! The crumbs always go in the mouth...just like he aways used to but again I forgot! :)

Good thing Costco sells these bad boys come in a box of 96 rather then the general stores box of 12!

Awwww, maybe another Ben favorite item I may buy stock in is these bad boys...

Again, thanks to Costco for selling a huge box with three individual bags instead of the small bags in the regualar store! Ben even wrote a song about it! I have him remembering the first few lines and I am sure the rest will come! All you Ranger boys should know what I am talking about when it comes to his goldfish!

The race is not always to the swift, but to those who keep on running. ~Author unknown, in reference to Ecclesiastes 9:11, "I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all."

the chair...

2011-08-20T20:52:00.000-07:00

Last week I was challanged by the Lord to fast and pray for a specific time. I had never fasted the lenghth I did and at first was not willing to accept the challange and the asking to do so. But I had a change of heart and did. There were specific things I was praying for and wanting answers and direction.
I will say that I didn't get alot of answers but I got alot of peace and the reminders that God is always with us and that He knows our every thought, desire and hope. I was reminded of this in an amazing way!
It was on the Monday of my first day of fasting and I moved one of our dressers into our master bedroom closet. The plan was to open up the room more for a chair. I think there is something so peaceful about a chair in your room...my own personal opinion! Anyways, I went to Fred Meyer to where I had seen a chair I wanted and they were sold out. I looked all over online only to find out that they were all to expensive. The last place I looked and actually put in my shopping bag but did not purchase was Target. I just couldn't sufice the almost $200 to put a single chair in a rental house. I dropped the subject for now but still really wanted a chair!
The next day I had a dentist appointment and on the way home saw a chair on the side of the road with a free sign on it. I figured I should stop but kept driving. I went into a turn lane but then got back in my lane. Well, I finally decided that I should at least check it out!
Well, I drove into the driveway and thought this thing is going to be heavy! I knocked on the door hoping someone would be home to help me lift it into the back of Ben's massive truck! Of course they were not! So, I lifted up the back to see just how heavy it might be and to my surpise it was light! I heaved it into the back of the truck and took off towards home!
It is not a brand new chair but it is the style that I love! The wood needs to be painted and it needs to be reupolstered for sure. It is worn and tattered but with a lil TLC it will be good to go.

A couple things that this chair taught me...or the Lord did through the finding of this chair.
1. The Lord knows my every thought. I never prayed for a chair but just thought about it. I thought about it, pursued it and then let it go. The Lord didn't forget about it even if it was something as simple as a chair for our bedroom! It just reminded me that He cares, He loves, and He is in control. Jesus knows our every thought and is faithful and loving enough to remind us that He is here...always!
"The LORD knows our thoughts, that they are but an empty breath." Ps 94:11

2. I think of myself as a project. Some days I am tattered, dented, my finish is off, my fabric/body is worn down...
The Lord is there to look after me. He gives me a lil paint job of some extra love, a new coat of hopefulness, He fills in my dented flaws...HE IS ALWAYS THERE!
“But now, O Lord, You are our Father; we are the clay, and You our potter; and all we are the work of Your hand.”Is 64:8

So, although I didn't think I got answers I did...just did in a different way! I know I will get the answers and healing that we prayed for when they need to come but for now the confirmation, love, hope and another dose of faith will see me though for some time!

I also got a good smile this week...this is an absolute answer to prayer!

On my last blog post I posted some things that I got out of a scripture I read! A council member in our church put it together in a picture and I thought it was amazing and wanted to share it!

Just a few good randoms...

We made freezer jam together...

We made amazing smoked gouda cheese and grilled onion burgers...

"Once God has spoken; twice have I heard this: that power belongs to God."
Psalm 62:11

"Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD GOD is an everlasting rock."
Isaiah 26:4

the joys of disappointment...

2011-08-17T21:38:00.000-07:00

"Expect nothing and accept everything and you will never be disappointed." L. Overmire
The definition of disappointment is: The feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one's hopes or expectations.

Have you ever been disappointed? So disappointed that you are stuck in a rut? I think that is Ben and I right now and it is not so fun! This I know is not a place where I want to be or stay but I am here. What am I disappointed in...well, there is a list! Our disappointment is in where we are in life right now, people, unkept promises, lack of babies, dreams not being fulfilled, therapists, relationships, our love, people's choices, and its disappointing to have to hear your husband say, "I have a brain injury but I am not stupid!" and the list goes on. For awhile I have let these disappoinments get to me whether I can do anything about them or not.

It is not fair to me that we are in this situation. I don't like it and never had. I am not happy that Ben and my dreams (that the Lord put in our hearts) are having to be put on hold. I don't like it that Ben cannot work and cannot to what he so loves to do. I don't like to see him struggle with just the simple of tasks. I am disappointed in God, I am disappointed in myself. But this has nothing to do with God, it has everything to do with me and where my heart is right now!

Places have disappointed us, people have disappointed us, situations have disappointed us, life has brought disappointments and the list goes on! I can tell you one thing though in spite of all this that Jesus doesn't disappoint. I don't understand what He is doing or what He is up to, I may not like it (which I don't), I may not agree but I can say that He doesn't disappoint. In knowing this it doesn't mean that I haven't struggled. I have wrestled with the scripture, "Is anything to hard for the Lord?" Gen 18:14 The answer is no but at the same time alot of questions come with that. If nothing is to hard for Him why has He not healed my man completely? If nothing is to hard for Him why is this dragging out? If nothing is to hard for Him then why oh why did He not stop the truck that hit us? This to me is disappointing but then again I go back to the fact that God doesn't disappoint, nothing is to hard for Him. What it comes down to is my heart. God doesn't disappoint me in things, I do. Jesus doesn't make things to hard, I do!

In my frustrations of being disappointed and feeling far away from the Lord I was in the Word the other night and we were doing our devotions together. The title of the devotion that day was Walk With Me. It focused on Matt. 11:26-12:21 but more specifically on Matt. 21:28-30 which says, "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to Me. Get away with Me and you'll reoover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with Me and work with Me-watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with Me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." (The Message)
In the devotion I was instructed to find words or phrases that stood out to me. I also read the NLT to see what I could pull from it as well...
-come to Me
-all of you
-recover your life
-walk with Me and work with Me
-rest
-i am humble and gentle
-watch how I do it!
-take My yoke

In this time this is just what I needed to read and hear. It comes at the perfect time. When I read the words of Jesus it takes away the disappointent, it takes away the unfairness, it melts my heart and puts things back into perspective! Later that night when I was getting ready for bed a song came on that I have not heard forever. It was instrumental but I knew the words and they were do what I needed to have running through my mind!

It is the old hymn Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus...

O soul, are you weary and troubled?
No light in the darkness you see?
There’s a light for a look at the Savior,
And life more abundant and free!

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.

Through death into life everlasting
He passed, and we follow Him there;
Over us sin no more hath dominion—
For more than conquerors we are!

His Word shall not fail you—He promised;
Believe Him, and all will be well:
Then go to a world that is dying,
His perfect salvation to tell!

Life does suck right now for Ben and I. I don't like where we are at and the fact that we may be stuck in life and the unknown but one thing I will continue to do is turn my eyes upon Jesus because He doesn't disappoint, He is capable, and nothing is to hard for Him.

This post may be all over the place but it is where we are at this point and I just had to get it off my chest. I have some soul searching to do and some heart work to continue but that is life! I am holding on to my Jesus and to my man!

Ben's prayer tonight...
"Lord, thank you for having me in this sitution. It is hard though for me and Katie. Don't turn your back on me. Heal my body. Help me through this situation."...and a few other things...

"I’m finding that when I’m at the end of my rope, I should tie a knot, hang on, and swing!"

random doings...

2011-08-15T20:59:00.000-07:00

There have been alot of fun things that we have been doing in the past few weeks and things that Ben has been doing in therapy! I know, totally random and not so organized post but that is how life is sometimes around here!

Here goes...

Ben and I were finally able to take out his boat! He couldn't be a happier man in that moment!

ben and his ot put together a pool...

we babysit some of the neices and nephs...

we go to the fair...

ben does full depth squats...

ben does tree pull-ups...

i get a fabulous view of seattle from a bathroom at a b-day party...

ben attempts a sling shot and almost breaks a window...

we went camping with the fam and the kids liked our cabin...

we fall asleep at 6pm after getting home from camping...

my bros and dad were in our highlighted in our local newspaper and they came to our camp site to photograph them**...

and today ben pretty much made a graham cracker crust for me (he followed my directions) to make a strawberry pie...

and we go on swagger wagon rides...

so, yes lots of randomness but all good randomness!
just realized the graham cracker pictures are all out of order but I am to tired to go back and switch them all!

**you can find the newspaper article HERE

last days in ga...

2011-08-09T16:59:00.000-07:00

Caution...many photos are on this post!
So the last few days were alot of fun and relaxing!
Thursday morning we were up and at em to get on post. Today was the day for the Change of Command ceremony. We had to be there by about 0830 and I think we got there and parked by about 0840 so we didn't do to bad!
The Change of Command ceremony is where they change regimental Colonels. One we knew was going out and another that we didn't know was coming in. It was a great ceremony. Today was the day that Ben was required to wear his uniform. He has not put it on since the day before the accident when he was at work. It has been in storage here in WA so it wasn't accessible and there was really no need for him to wear it. I have to say that Ben looked handsome! The pride that showed on his face was amazing...he is so proud of what he gets to do and so wants to get back to it!
The ceremony at one point had them saying the Ranger Creed. I have posted it before but I will post it again at the end. He stood tall for this and said it with all his might just like the other Rangers were doing! What was cool about this time is there was a different injured Ranger who led a stanza each. Ben was not used to repeating it so he jumped ahead in some places!

The rest of the day was getting lunch from Chick-fil-a (oh how I want one here...like now) and swimming! Ben swam under the water, wrestled with my bro, floated around, did pull-ups on the diving board and did so many things compared to his swim on Monday! Thursday we went to dinner at our friends parents house! Ben had requested steak and that is what he got! He LOVED it and I must say I did as well! Super yummy! Ben was so tired from all the activity he had for the day and so he was off to bed!

There are two sweet lil men that I finally got to meet! I had seen photos of both but got to finally hold them! First I met Jack on Wednesday night at Starbucks and then lil Finley on Friday morning when I went out to breakfast with his mama! Jack has 3 older sisters and Finn is a lil brother...they both get alot of love but I had to give those sweet cheeks get some sugar!

{meet jack ryan}

{meet finley darren}

Friday afternoon was more pool time and relaxing. We had thought about going home this day when we were putting traveling plans together and decided to stay an extra day knowing that the week would be busy. I am so glad we stayed this extra day!
We had a small gathering of friends which was super fun! Ben and I enjoyed seeing them all again...it was the first time they had seen Ben since the hospital in Atlanta!

Day 3 and 4...

2011-08-06T10:12:00.000-07:00

Day 3...was a lazy day in the morning. Our friends had to do some things in the morning and I of course was up at 0730 and Ben was still sleeping! I took advantage of the quite morning and just had some time to myself! I had to wake Ben up to take his meds and told him he could go back to sleep if he wanted. He did...until almost 0945! I cannot remember the last time he slept in that late besides being in his coma! I think the flight, 3 hour time change, heat and all the craziness finally hit him! Breakfast was next and then just chilling a bit until after lunch.

After lunch we took of for post again to where we attended a Regimental brief and Distinguished and Honorary Members of the 75th Ranger Regiment. The brief was to update people and Rangers as to what was going on within the Regiment, training programs, improvements and such. The Rangers are the only ones who have been overseas every day since this war has started and they will continue to do so. I think it totalled well over 3000 days. We have lost 55 Rangers and many have been injured. Although many have been lost and injured they continue to fight and do their job. They will never surrendur and will continue to do what they are trained to do. One man who was injured, he lost his leg, asked if he could stay overseas and continue his recovery and therapy there. He didn't want to leave his brothers. He also had to humor to ask the nurses to loosen his boot straps on the leg that was missing because they were too tight! :) These men are courageous and will do anything to stay and fight!
Next was the Distinguished and Honorary Ceremony. This was for people within and outside of the Regiment who have gone over and above for the Ranger Regiment. They are nominated for what they have done to support and work with the regiment. It was cool to watch all of this!

{between both ceremonies}

I asked Ben if he wanted to go past our old house in AL and he said yes! It was only going to be a few min from our friends house so we were off. As we got closer Ben was able to tell me how to get there and got it all right! I showed him where the accident happened (close to our neighborhood enterance} and the only thing he had to say about that was, "oh boo!" I asked him if he remembered any of the accident and he said no. We drove past our old house, which looked the same, and then stopped by one of our neighbors house. He was home and so we got to chat with him for a bit and he got to see Ben. I always gave him updates when I was home for the hospital on the weekends but he never got to see Ben. He said him and his wife were just talking about us the day before! It was good to see him!
We headed back to our friends house so Ben could stretch out a bit and then came another "first" for Ben since the accident! Our friends brother had a boat and he wanted to take Ben out in it! Of course Ben said yes! I was wondering how Ben would do getting into the boat because it was wobbly and such. Well, I didn't have to worry because Ben walked down the whole dock with his walker (I was behind him), grabbed the tower pole on the boat and stepped right in. We barely had a hand on him! We took off on the Chattahoochee River (Lake Oliver) and you couldn't wipe the smile off Ben's face! You could tell he was finally in his element! Wait, it gets better! Phil asked him if he wanted to drive and of course Ben said yes! We got him into the drivers seat and he was ready! He did most of the steering and Phil the throttle so that Ben wouldn't get out of hand with the speed! Haha this boy likes to go fast! Again, you could just see Ben's eyes light up, get relaxed and just drive!
He was told by Phil at one point to turn real sharp to scare our friend Misty! It worked and was hilarious! We asked Ben later what she did and he said, "she screamed like this, ahhhhhhhh!"

{Ben's ready}

{we're happy}

{he was making fun of me}

{phil and ben}

{misty and I}

Day 4...brought more fun! It was up and at em in the morning because we had to be on post to meet with the regimental Colonel and the other injured soldiers that attended! We had to be there at 1030 and after a bit of a mishap we did get there on time! Colonet Kurilla and Command Sergeant Major Merritt sat down with all these guys and told them how proud he was of them all! Their fight to get better and back to their brothers was very encouraging to him! His words were good and edifying. They went on to thank the families as well and all who support these wounded warriors!

After the morning events we went back to our friends to let Ben rest. After resting and eating some Chick-fil-a (one reason I could have stayin in GA forever) we headed back on post to Freedom Hall. Here they were having a big ole BBQ for everyone and the combatives finals. It was as if they don't get enough action overseas they have to come back state side and beat on each other! It was fun to watch boys just having some fun! Ben loved it and was yelling just like the rest of them! There were hundreds of Rangers in there and when there was a good move pulled in the ring you could tell there were alot of men present! Powerful to say the least! Ben also got to see alot more of his buddies here and I got to see some of my friends too! It was fun!

The last two photos were the highlight of our evening. We ran into Colonel Clark and his wife right as we were walking out to our car! Ben was really wanting to see him and it couldn't have been at a better time! He has always looked up to Col. Clark and admired who he is as a man and a leader in the Army. We all at one point took some spin classes on post too and he was supposed to re-enlist Ben right after the accident. When Col Clark saw Ben he immediatley got on his knee and started talking to him. They had a great moment together and at one point Ben saluted him and said, "Rangers Lead the Way!" I missed the shot but it will forever be engrained in my memories! Even today as I write this blog and Ben saw the photos of him he said, "I really like Colonel Clark!" It is men like Col Clark that I too admire, for taking the time to talk to my man, encourage him and let them know that they care about who he is and all he is doing!

We headed back to the Webbs after this for some much needed rest! Ben was pooped after a long but good day! He went to bed and we all stayed up for a bit and hung out! All in all a wonderful day!

Sayings from Ben (yesterday)...there was no handicapt parking at Madigan (army hospital) so I parked in the expectant mom spot. i didn't tell ben where we had parked but when he sat in his chair he pointed to the sign and said, "one day you can officially park here, i will make it happen!"